So I’m a guy in my 30s. I’ve been masturbating since I was a young teenager but I first had sex with another person when I was 29 and only recently began having regular sex with someone (this is probably a whole other thread, but here I’ll just say that a lack of confidence and a shyness around sex were the main reasons for the situation). Since I’ve started having regular sex with another person I’ve discovered that I sometimes have what I would say are multiple orgasms.
Another thing to add is that while I have no problem ejaculating when I’m by myself, I’ve yet to ejaculate due solely (or even mainly) to contact with my partner. Really, as I describe it I realize it sounds a bit like a common situation with women, but I have not heard of it happening much to men.
I guess this is something that people studying tantric sex strive for, that’s what my partner says, and she’s studied tantra. I like it pretty well when it happens, though I don’t think I’d want to completely replace orgasms with ejaculation. They are two different (though similar) things and I appreciate them both.
So what about other dopers? How many of you have had a similar experience, either yourself or someone you’ve slept with?
Can’t every guy do this? I’ve had thousands or orgasms. It’s kind of hard to explain the number of people on earth if every guy is limited to just one, unless there’s a lot more threesomes going on than people admit to. Which is odd, because every guy who ever had a threesome is quite willing to admit to it, unless their making up the part about the third being a second woman. And I think a lot of guys who have never had a threesome say they do anyway.
As for not getting off with your partner, and remaining a virgin to age 29, just have to say, sorry dude, that sounds rough. I’d get addicted to something if I were you. Sex addiction would be a good choice.
Ha. The OP is talking about serial orgasms without a break in the action. I think this is not all that common, for most men. Most men probably could, if they are willing to use a bit of a cheat. (Keep it together enough to reach around and press hard on your vas through your ejaculation, and keep the stimulation up so that there’s no detumescence - skipping the usual ‘just give me ten minutes and I’ll be right with you’ period in between. It feels a bit weird but it gets you there, and the downside is that you probably aren’t going to enjoy those orgasms as much as you would if you just went with the flow.
The only time I’ve ever experienced gratis “multiple orgasms” (where you get all the joy of a regular orgasm and can just keep on keepin’ on,) it’s been with just the right combination of MDMA and sildenafil. It sounds like the OP is getting that for free, probably down to some curse & blessing oddity of brain chemistry.
Wait, is that a faint woosh I hear? (I parsed the bit about threesomes as putting too much weight on how much female-after-male orgasm increases the chances of conception.)
It certainly is possible for a man to have multiple orgasms. Usually there is a “rest” time between but that can be as little as a few minutes.
The fact you have yet to have orgasm with a partner is also very common. It comes from the fact you masturbated and trained yourself to respond that way. Usually a fist is much tighter and you’ve trained yourself to only respond to that tightness.
This is nothing to worry about, you simply need to relearn your response. The only way to do this is patience and practice. If you masturbate with a hand use your non-dominate hand to do this. Your grip won’t be as tight. It will frustrate you at first but you’ll get the hang of it as you relearn.
Sex is like anything the more you practice the better you get at it. (Well hopefully :))
I’m confused with how the term “multiple orgasms” is being used in this thread. Men can easily have “multiple orgasms”. With younger men the interval period between the orgasm and starting to get hard again (if stimulation is constant) can be as little as a few minutes. This is perfectly normal.
Having a string of true orgasms separated by very short interval (like some women’s) or orgasms without any ejaculation (even a “shooting blanks” ejaculation) is a lot more unusual.
I just want to assure everyone that I’m a Dan Savage reader (and listen to the Savage Lovecast) and I’m aware of the issue with regards to training your dick to only orgasm with masturbation. I’ve been using a looser grip and I’m not masturbating as often now that I’m “getting some” (in EvilTOJ’s words), but I think I need to follow Dan’s other advice and entirely abstain from masturbation for a while.
As to the multiple orgasms, I don’t simply mean several orgasms spaced out in a single session, but a full body tingling accompanied with twitching that goes on for a while then kind of eases off but will come back in a while if she keeps stimulating me. It’s quite distinct from an orgasm with ejaculation, but it kind of reminds me of the orgasms I’ve seen the women I’ve been with have where they end up wanting (almost craving) more stimulation but for a fairly short moment you have to back off because they are too sensitive to stimulation. I don’t need to pinch the vas as Larry Mudd suggested (at least if he means to manually pinch; I may be doing something internally I’m not aware of). It’s also only happened with a partner and not every time we have sex.
I will be honest, I’m not absolutely sure it’s and orgasm; but I’m pretty sure it is. It really reminds me of the orgasms of my female partner and she said she could feel my prostate (through my perineum) responding as if I had come. Whatever it may be it’s enjoyable, although it’s also kind of intense and doesn’t feel like a resolution the way an orgasm with ejaculation does.
(Oh, and Tripolar thanks for the concern. While I won’t say it was great remaining a virgin for so long, it wasn’t awful. It would have been nice to have started sooner because sex with another person is fun, but I’ve enjoyed my life so far and it’s exciting to be exploring the world of sex.)
(Bolding mine) I think you likely provided the answer there. I think that you are tightening/clenching up and cutting off the vas deferens internally. You can experiment with this a bit and see if trying to relax all your muscles down there a bit makes a deferens. (heh)
Or, alternately, you could experiment with manually applying pressure or trying to similarly clench up when you’re doing the Han Solo, and see if the results are similar.
I’m 44. Last week the wife and I were feeling rather… frisky over a few hours. And I counted four times (for me) over the course of about four hours. Not sure if that is noteworthy or not.
When I was 18, and first started having sex, I could do this. My girlfriend and I would be going at it, I’d have an orgasm, but if she hadn’t come yet, I could just keep going, stay hard, and come again within a few minutes.
Alas, one’s body doesn’t remain in its 18-year-old state for long, and it’s a trick which has long since left my repertoire.
Tripolar, as you know, falsely attributing quotes, even as a joke, is a no-no. I know you know this since you reported yourself. Don’t do it again, please.
No warning issued.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator, who as often said that though peeing standing up would be convenient, the multiple orgasm payoff is more than worth it
