Yes it’s true. My superpower is to be completely invisible to those behind whom I am walking as they go through a door.
Only in this way can the 100% ratio of doors slamming in my face be explained.
Even though some of the people ahead of me glance back and seem to make eye contact with me, I know they can’t actually see me since they just let the door go, obviously oblivious (say THAT 10 times fast) to my presence.
What, one example isn’t enough? Fine. How do you explain the fact that very rarely (and only when I’m not emitting invisibilitiness) do people who walk in front of my actually say “Excuse me”? Huh? Go ahead and explain that one! Thought so…
Let the raining of blows about the head and shoulders commence!!!
I guess as long as you’re not Always Stink Up the Bathroom Man!!! (able to clear a bathroom in a single bowel movement) then this is a good power to have? What do you do with this power, anyway?
Stand up straight, look straight ahead and smile if at all possible. Wear bright, clean clothes. Smell good. Get some sun (not too much though, skin cancer is a bitch.) Walk tall and fast, but not too fast. Walk with an air of confidence like you’ve got somewhere to be.
This will make it pretty much impossible for the average person to look right past you. That is of course, if you were serious about people slamming doors in your face and not saying excuse me.