We are in MPSIMS now, folks.
Just sayin’.
What would you like to eat?
That’s right, folks-food talk belongs in Cafe Society.
Ok, troll, I attack you with my two-handed broadsword…clatter and with an 18 plus 5, I hit! I am rolling a d8 for damage-and you take 3 points damage.
Who’s next in initiative order?
I keep hearing classical music along with this phrase on my head…
[Robert Mitchum] “…Its What’s For Dinner!!!” [/Robert Mitchum]
Do trolls believe Og is the one true Og?
Aw, really? But I wuz bein’ a troll! What do I need to do? Eat some billy goat’s gruff? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I ain’t no gruff-eater. I should complain about this action in the Pit. Aw, who’m I kidding. The modz’d just pat me on the head and shuffle me back here. “There there Mr. crispy vaginal breakfast food with lots of butter and strawberry jam…” Oh well.
Waffle. One of the more brilliant pitting names.
Ok, lessee…BayouHazard, Ouch * Regenerate * * dodge * Now I get two paw attacks and a bite, and since I’m a pumped up supertroll, the product of a megalomaniacal 13 year-old DM, I hit at +20 for max damage every time! And I disarm you. And I eat the arm! You take 20 damage and attack at -4 until you can get a greater restoration spell. Good luck with that!
And you know, it really isn’t easy being a wealthy professional. I mean, the wealthy bit’s pretty easy cuz I just gotta roll around in big heaps of cash all day long. But the money really makes it tough to concentrate on my job. And everyone always asks me for money and nobody really unnerstands ME, y’know.
Uh oh…looks like we’re gonna have to retitle this thread: “I’m an attention Whore” I guess czarcasm called it in two. Someone should just urinate on me.
(Tumbles, dodges and uses run feat…) (Pulls out superior regeneration potion from pack and chugs. Arm grows back, hit points restored.)
shrugs -Life’s good when you’re married to the DM, as I am.-
shoots troll with exploding heavy crossbow bolt from distance of 30 feet
Nonono, it’s “I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?”
I for one do not volunteer to urinate on you, Inigo.
What brought all this on?
Oh crap. I just got trolled.
Where’s your bridge? I want to tramp over it.
Do you live under the Mackinac bridge?
Well, la-de-da - “I’ve been here for a month, and I’ve been trolled already!” Mr. SpecialPants.
I was bored and I wanted to troll in the pit. Unfortunately I lack the focus and necessary level of vitrol to maintain a serious pit thread so it got moved here to suffer an ignoble death over the weekend, or else to be humanely executed Monday morning, probably by SkipMagic.
But since we’re here, I owe you a welcome back drink. And I owe Cat Whisperer a drink for…well, she just needs one. And to everyone else here…
Since he’s no longer a mod, that seems unlikely.
Trolls are real! When I was a kid we had one in the area who had a problem with his pants–seems they automatically fell when he got near a schoolyard. All the kids were warned and in about five minutes we’d determined that he lived under a nearby bridge in a hut made of dried algae.
Of course none of us went under the bridge to check. But later I bought a troll doll, so I guess I was scarred for life.
Oh, he’s euthanized so many of my threads he’d probably find a way.
I actually have grown to kind of like that song. 