I'm About to Be Unemployed

Just some catch-up in the World of the Frog, not that anyone cares.

Today is my official last day on payroll, we’ve all been laid off. I’m soon to have a ton of free time on my hands. Now I know most people’s first response is to hand out the cyber hugs and say encouraging things like, “Something will come up, don’t worry about it” or sends good vibes. And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for any heartfelt well-wishing, but you can keep that sort of thing because that’s not what this thread is for.

I just wanted to share some thoughts on the subject and ask any other opinions on what I can do now that I’ve been liberated from work. My thoughts so far include:

Catch up on my video games - I have 4 games for my PS2 I’ve bought and have yet to play. Two of them are still in the shrinkwrap. We all know the saying: A game is a terrible thing to waste.

Become a lion tamer - I think I can do that. I’ve been to the zoo, I’ve seen lions. For the most part, they just lie about in the sun. I don’t see what all the fuss is really. Plus, I’ve already got my own lion taming hat.

Complete my lists - I have a goofy habit of making goofy lists. These will eventually make it to my website. The current list stems from a conversation during the drive back from ChiDope and is entitled: “Men Whose Legs I Would Hump”. Now that’s a productive way to spend some time, no?

Hitchhike across America - I’m not as serious about this one as I am the lion-tamer job, since all that walking is soooo close to exercising.

So anyone else have any fun ways for a newly freed-from-job person can spend some time?

Professional asparagus thresher.

Public restroom tester.

Jail cook.

Dog shaver.

“World’s Crunchiest Frog”

Geez, punha, some of those sound dangerously like jobs.
I’ve just been liberated by the great Allied Forces of Corporate America from the Nazi Death Cubicles and you want me go back? :stuck_out_tongue:

BTW, when did the smilies go technicolor again?

Public restroom tester: you go potty a bunch.

“World’s Crunchiest Frog”: you exist.

Geez. No wonder you were laid off:p

Very recently.
Hey, use all of your free time to just do what I do all the time: loaf.

My profession gets hammered about every 5 to 10 and believe me, I feel your pain. Only advice I have is take tomorrow off but after that continue to get up at the same time as you did for work and to treat your search for a job as a job. And I’m going to say it whether you like it or not… Good Luck Crunch. I really hope it goes well for you.

That’s 2 out of 5. The other 3 sound like jobs (especially the one with the word “professional” in front of it). 3=“some” so :stuck_out_tongue: at you again.

And thanks lieu, but I’m really not that worried about getting a new job. I’m sure something will come up and if worse comes to worse I can just go work at the airport with my dad.

Sounds to me like an excellent time to express yourself - you know - Performance Art!! Or maybe a stint in civil service - I know that sounds like work, but maybe you could land one of them cushy positions where you lean on a shovel and watch the other guys work up a sweat… Or you might look for a Sugar Mama. There’s no law against being a gigolo, is there??

Ooooh… My act will begin with me wearing a flesh colored leotard and re-enacting my own birth! I’ll finish up by covering myself in lime Jell-O while doing an interpretive dance to the soundtrack of Gigi!

You offering? Cuz I’m sure there’s no law against loving you. :wink:
[sub](Is that a good gigolo line? I’m sort of new to this line of work.)[/sub]

From the humour in your posts, why don’t you get a job as a comedic writer. Or then again maybe you shouldn’t.

Well, if you promise to do your performance art for me and only me, then I believe we can come to a mutually acceptable arrangement… I’m not too keen on Gigi, tho. I’m thinking “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” accompanied only by oboe…

Um, torture your Sims?

Create an SDMB bordello

Drive your post count up until you start to challenge handy

Naps. Lots and lots of naps.

Since you were so “nice” to me in the welcome wagon thread, I’ll tell you what I did in my “year off”.

Other than lurk on the boards, I downloaded the Quake 2 map editor QuArK and learned to make maps. I spent a lot of time working on my gaming website, updating information for the players. I caught up on TV, watching almost everything- including watching the first 72 hours after 9/11. I re-read the whole Dune series, Tolkien’s Ring books and a few other favorites. I got a few projects done around the house, as my health allowed, and I did a lot of chores.

Your mileage may vary. Here’s hoping your unemployment is enjoyable, and as brief as you want it to be.


You could clean my house. No, scratch that, I’ve seen your apartment, you don’t clean. You could be my fashion co-ordinator. No, wait. I wear clothing other than baseball jerseys and paisley tuxedo jackets so I don’t think you’d be much help there. Well, you can either come over here and warm up a spot on my couch with your ass and wait until I have a bra emergency to help me defy gravity with your bare hands, or I still have the position of part-time chew toy/gofer open. The pay on both is horrible, but I do believe in helping out my friends. Let me know what ya think and I am salivating for the list! Git off your hunky duff and write the goofy list for my amusement, damnit.

So, you’re gonna have a lot of time, huh? Have you ever played EverQuest? I don’t know if you go in for the whole RPG thing (and I realize this post is going to consign me to permanent nerd-dom in a lot of people’s eyes), but if you have a lot of spare time, EQ is definitely one way to burn it up.

Good luck!

Didn’t I already apply for the position of chew toy? And since when has gofer been attached to that? This is the first mention of gofer duties. If I get that job, are you gonna change the job description to chew toy/gofer/dishwasher? And then chew toy/gofer/dishwasher/manservant?
I’m beginning to have my doubts here.

Looking for a grievance bucko? Dishwasher and manservant are my jobs, along with laundry, pooper scooper, carpet shampooer and pulling stuff out of the freezer. This house runs on union rules so keep your nasty chopsticks out of my rice bowls.

As far as the chew toy application, it’s a running application. I still have annual evaluations and benefit adjustments based on their results. It’s worth it though :slight_smile:

Well, when I ose my job—which should happen in a matter of moments unless I watch my mouth—I plan to move to Paris and become a Bohemian. I’ll live in a garret, contract consumption, take up laudenum and absinthe, and cough delicately into a lace hankie.

You wanna be Rodolfe to my Mimi?

I think you should drive back and forth to Columbia just to make punha extremely jealous.

  1. Be a grad student! It’s a fun way to waste time and money without accomplishing much!

  2. You spend enough time here; apply to be an SDMB Moderator. It doesn’t look like much work. :smiley:

  3. Hunt down those slackers who need to finish their round robin stories. Use dogs and bring lots of mustard.