>But…sometimes I wonder about my birth parents. Should I?
IMHO, wondering is something that happens to you, not something you commit yourself to doing. Should you prefer the smell of baking bread, or newly mown grass? It isn’t a should.
I can imagine you wondering, and I can imagine you not wondering. Bless your heart, you have no reason to feel guilty about either. You are welcome to have any feelings you want, curiosity included.
>Sometimes I feel so conflicted and confused. Should I just try to ignore these thoughts? Should I worry myself with this stuff? … Any advice for a troubled Asian?
Yes, a little. I love my stepdaughter more than I imagined I could love anybody. Some people say “real” to mean birth parents, and some like yourself say “real” to mean adoptive. I bet you are the most “real” child your “real” (adoptive) parents can imagine, and you have total ownership of their hearts, and always will. I bet they want you to follow your curiosity and to grow in any direction that feels right to you. So, the advice would be to keep loving them and let them feel your love, and follow your curiosity wherever it leads you, and share what you get from it all with them in whatever ways you can, because this kindness would be very nice for them. But, overall, yes - it’s your story you’re following here. I wish you all the best luck.