I'm applying for a Get Out of Paper Free Card

[Ace309]

And here’s what it’ll say.

Dear Professor Hankinson :

  Tom       is a senior and has dutifully handed everything in throughout his four years at    this university   . As such, he is playing his Get Out of Paper Free card. He is entitled to a grade of A on this 5-page paper on   some damn thing  .

He looks forward to graduating in 13 days.

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

Please submit a 15-page double-spaced essay, “Why I Deserve a Get-Out-Of-Paper-Free Card”.

[Lsura]

I want one! Of course, I’ve already written the 25 page paper that’s due tomorrow and set up the slides for the presentation.

The 10 page one that’s due Tuesday, though, that’s another matter.
Mine should say (all names changed to protect me, just in case):

Dear Instructor,

Lsura has completed all requirements for the Master’s degree, including the comprehensive exam. She has completed all assignments for this course, averaging 95%+ on all items. She should receive an automatic A for this final remaining item. She looks forward to the hooding ceremony in 13 days and hopes you accept her request for a Get Out of Paper Free Card.