I’ve been mildly depressed for the last five years. Life was all dreary plodding, and I was bitter, permanently stressed out and not expecting anything good to happen. If I got a gift, all I thought was: “Damn, another item to get out of my home and to Goodwill. As if I don’t have enough to do.”
I even got in therapy, where what I did mostly was blaming my parents, who were, indeed, not all that great. But none of it helped to make me feel better.
Then my therapist and I decided to give meds a try. Beforehand, I couldn’t take meds because I was pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or breastfeeding the whole time. And for the last six months, I just thought that all those studies indicating that meds don’t help with mild depression meant they wouldn’t help me either. And I thought I was too smart to have the benefit of the placebo effect. And I thought that taking meds would just be another dreary plodding effort of trying out one antidepressant after another, suffering all the side effects, without it helping.
In that mood, I started Prozac (well, generic fluoxetine) five weeks ago. I was at my wits end.
Holy COW, did that work out well. Within a week (which isn’t even possible according to the leaflet) I felt better. More energetic. As if the clouds lifted and the sun came out. Suddenly I’m my old self again. I’m nicer to everyone. I make more plans to do stuff, and then go and do them. I’ve got more self-discipline. I’ve started jogging and am liking it. :eek: I’ve stopped overeating, effortlessly.
And the side effects? Hardly any. Orgasming is harder, but frankly, that is worth it ten times over.
Why did I wait five years to try this stuff? It’s wonderful!
Congratulations on the new energy. About the eating - a couple of different people have told me that they lost twenty pounds by taking Prozac. They didn’t diet. It just seemed to melt off.
Man, I got depressed just *reading *the first two paragraphs of the OP. It put me straight into that mindset for a moment … and all I can say is, that moment sucked. Five years must’ve … I dunno. Jeez. But I’m glad you’re better!
As a massivley cured person that needed meds to get there (lexapro, Wellbutrin, Xanax) and the spouse of a similarly cured person, WELCOME TO THE ROAD TO RECOVERY!
A word of warning: it took 2.5 years for find a cocktail that worked for my wife, if you find yourself slipping, get the back to the Doctor, post haste!
Also, consider finding a therapist. Long term depression is partly biochemical and partly behavioral. A good Cognitive Based Therapist can help you deal with the undelying problems that are making you depressed.
Some folks don’t need it, but the wife and I did, and we’ve been ‘fixed’ for two to three years now.
I guess I just don’t understand the reluctance some people have to these medications. If you break your arm, you get it set and immobilized, you’re not ‘less of a person’ because you couldn’t tough it out on your own.
The long term un-addressed stress of depression just makes you prematurely old.
Many moons ago, I tried it and within 2 DAYS it was working.
The Doc said that not everyone responds to it like we did. It works best if you used to be ‘happy’ but depression creeped up on you…they are most likely to respond the way we did.
The harder to orgasm is a huge benefit to guys btw.
IIRC, I took about 20mg a day for a couple years, then we (doc and I) tapered it to 20mg every other day.
About 3 years in I dropped it, but didn’t quite like the way the thoughts were going…it wasn’t nearly as bad and could have been my imagination but went back on for 20mg every 3 days. After around 5 years I stopped.
To this day I keep a watch on it and if I see me slippin I will go back into the doc. I haven’t a history of depression and it doesn’t run in my family so it was probably a 1 time thing.
The way I described it to others is that people have a ‘mean’ around which their ‘happiness’ naturally sits. If you push it up it will float back down. If it takes severe hits it will eventually float back up.
Depression moves this mean (average) down and puts it on a downward spiral over time. If you don’t have depression then it sneaks up on you…slowly over time so you don’t see it. It’s only when you step back from yourself and look that you wonder ‘is something wrong’?
For me, it wasn’t the ‘sad, no energy’ commercials that did it…it was a radio commercial that said things like:
Do you feel you are doing bad at your job but getting good reviews?
Are you feeling less competent about your abilities then you used to? Plus some more. That fit me to a T and that day made an appointment. I really wish I knew who did the commercial so I could thank them.
The Prozac within 2 days pushes this mean back up to where it used to be. When you are depressed, it takes you by surprise (it did me). I noticed within 2 days that my thoughts had changed…I was more the old me. I could almost ‘feel’ the upward effects of the prozac. I even played with it…trying to depress myself…thinking sad, bad thoughts and I did become sad. Then I was distracted and a few minutes later realized I was humming…like my old self.
Prozac doesn’t seem to ‘make’ you happy…it just puts the mean/everage happiness back to where it used to be. When you take hits throughout the day, you can be sad…but it ‘floats’ back up. If you really screw up, it won’t make you happy…you will feel like shit. However, you won’t feel like shit when you have no reason to
I’m not a shrink, but I am a nutter who’s learned to deal. My thoughts are that most people don’t understand what emotions are. They are not instincts or indicators of reality, but it is very easy to come to think of them that way. “Search your feelings…” “What does your gut tell you?” etc. Sure, in healthy people they correlate closely with reality and the disconnect never really becomes relevant. But when emotional response diverges from reality to the extent that sadness, anger and even joy become pathological, so many people are unprepared to observe the divergence and override the wayward emotion. We are taught from a very early age to trust our feelings, but for some of us our feelings are the pervy uncle who waylays our reason and makes it impossible to enjoy life. If we turn him in, who’ll believe us? Surely our condition is our own fault, we must deserve this…self-loathing and despair circle in like buzzards.
And even if we are prepared to rat out our wicked uncles, what if nothing works? Then we’re still burdened, other people know our pain, and there is even less hope than before.
But…YAY Maastricht!!!
DO NOT stop taking it cold turkey, even when you think you’re cured (that day will come) or when you think it’s not working anymore. Even when you’re sad and on Prozac, the withdrawal crash is … well, it’s really bad. It’s like going to a bar with all the wicked uncles and someone slips you a roofie.
“Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown”
Congratulations, Maastricht! As someone who is starting to worry that he has a similar problem to the one you are solving for yourself, it’s inspiring to hear about your recovery.
Thank you, BlinkingDuck, for this perspective.
I’ve always brushed off depression as a source of my lack of motivation in life because I don’t really feel all that sad most of the time. Which drug has the wierd little mopey cartoon rock-looking thingy that becomes all bouncy again? Yeah, I’ve never seen that as being me.
But loss in confidence in my abilities, a general feeling of not being quite the same person I used to be… I can see myself in that.
Did either of you (or anyone else with similar experiences) deal with any reluctance over seeking help, or admitting to loved ones that you might have a problem? Did you feel embarrassed, ashamed, etc? How did you get over yourself and finally make the leap?
