As some of you may already know, I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. I was seeing a therapist on Ottawa, and she was great. She really helped me a lot. But after moving out to the Pacific North West, I’ve really struggled to find a good therapist here. The ones I’ve spoken to are either a little too gruff for me, or are into woo woo “Let’s explore your own personal mythology!”* I can’t seem to find anyone who specializes in CBT who I like without taking a 35 minute ferry ride.
So I’ve decided I’m going to ask my GP about anti-depressant medication. I’ve resisted going on meds for a long time now. I wanted to give it my best shot with other methods. And I have. I’m much much better than I used to be. I’m more aware of my anxiety, and I can make myself calm much faster than ever before. I’m driving now. I haven’t gone off the island yet, but at least I can get groceries and doctors appointments for Jackal Jr. But I’m tired. I’m really tired. It feels like I’m constantly swimming upstream. I just wanna swim in a nice calm lake, like everyone else does.
So I’ve decided I’m going on an anti-depressant. I’m not sure which one yet, I’ll ask my doc about that next week. Hopefully I can find one that makes me feel better without too many side effects. Wish me luck.
*No, I’m not making that up. Sigh.