I was hoping to bring up that whole Ummkay/Not Okay saga, but you haven’t been gone THAT long. That was pretty funny.
You only have one bump?!?
Six Nipples!
Wow… this may be the longest running thread ever.
:waves:
Well, let me tell ya a story 'bout a man named 'Ved.
Left the boards for a while, then came back to start this thread.
People saw it and said, “I remember that dude!”
And soon after that his thread was most viewed.
Thread views, that is! Clicked links! Reply posts!
Next thing you know, ol’ 'Ved’s no longer there!
He’s left the board forever in search of better fare!
If you think Happy Lendervedder was the best you’ve ever seen,
Just for a week 'til you’re sick of this meme.
Jokes, that is. Old ones. Real tired.
:golf clap:
:pulls up lawn chair:
:pops popcorn:
We never get tired of old jokes around here; we just turn them into Moderators. 
Speaking of nasty old cracks, how’s your wife?
Whoa dude… that was totally uncalled for. So much so that I started a Pit thread about you. It ran for several seconds before it was finally closed for the harshness of the posts, but let me assure you… you were thoroughly pitted.
I can’t believe we are still going on about this after all this time.
OOOoooooh! Serious burn!
I’m trying hard to figure out a pun to add to this thread to make it complete…
I should be ash-aimed.
All right, I need to take a break from the Dope for a while and clear my head. See you in a few minutes.
You should totally post, “I’m back…so what’s new around here?” when you come back. 
Reported
Edited to add:
Sorry, this thread was resurrected by a spammer and that post has apparently been deleted by a mod. Happy if you ever come back this way I hope you are in a better place in your life now.
We haven’t heard from Happy for a while. I’m starting to get worried about him.
Last I heard, he was sitting on a park bench reading an e-book when he posted in another thread that a skwirl (that’s how I spel it) was stalking him and he feared for his nuts (in his Snickers).
Barney Fife’d me, eh?
Oh well, I kinda deserved it.
(my 7th Pitting!)
Is anyone friends with **Happy **on Facebook, or does anyone know him in RL? We really should check on him.
-D/a
Oh you guys, thanks for your concern, but everything’s okay. However, since I last posted, well… I fell off the wagon. Yep, I’m drinking again. Hadn’t had a drop since-- oh, how long’s it been, now?-- since last night. But that all changed at dinner tonight. After an especially annoying day of dealing with holiday shoppers while browsing at the local Barnes and Noble, my wife asked me if I wanted a cold one, and I said “yes.” And then I drank it.
So what’s new with all of you?