The little lady (“Nancy”) and I are trying to have another kid. We have a 4 year old girl, and have been trying for the last two years to have another. Besides one miscarriage, no dice.
So, the little lady went to the lady doctor, who probed her girly parts, including her hoohaa and snicker-lala. Ran some tests, that sort of thing. The doctor said, just to be sure, I should give a sperm sample as well. Maybe the little Sidds aren’t up to snuff.
But there is a hitch (oh, you knew one was coming). We live in a very small town with no practicing girly doctors. My wife’s doctor lives in a town about 45 minutes away. I have to squirt my boys in a cup and get it to the doctor in under 30 minutes, lest they stop their squirming.
The little lady, sensitive lass that she is, tells the doctor this. The doctor suggests that we drive to the city where she practices, go to the park, and jerk off in the bathroom, a la George Michael.
I refuse to abuse myself in the bathroom at the park. Especially that park. It doesn’t even have doors on the bathroom.
The little lady is becoming increasingly frantic, wondering where I’m going to masturbate. She suggests McDonald’s. We have a friend who lives in that town, and she has suggested asking the friend for the use of her home for a few minutes.
Can you imagine asking a friend if you can pull your pud in their bathroom?
We’re running low on ideas. I’m considering asking the doctor if I can do it in their bathroom. Or, better yet, in their waiting room.
