So, I’m sitting in this dumbass class today, and I say to myself, “Self, I need somethin’ to do. How 'bout I start a riot?”
I need a halfway good reason though. I know we’ve had a bunch of riots in the past and have even raised an army, but hell, I’m bored and don’t want to do any homework right now. . . .
Trip
Still bored, and out of beer
I tried rallying my cowokers to this plan, but they just didn’t buy in.
We don’t have a president-elect. If we were in some third world country and were without a president after an election, there would be some badass riotin’ going on.
While discussing this with MommaRiddles, she brought up the fact that Letterman said one of the reasons he’s thankful this year is that * neither* of them won. So maybe we should riot in thankfulness. Your call.
You need a reason? Woah! Never thought of having a reason to wreak havoc, at school we just band together for the hell of it. You should try it someday.
Kitty
When I was a wee welf one time the sky turned green. It was my brother’s birthday. I ran around outside flailing my arms and screaming like a banshee.
I made my own riots. 
call me for the looting and pillaging, m’kay?
True . . . True . . .
I guess if we supply free beer to the first 10,000 rioters, that should help get this thing off the ground. . .
Tripler
Make it free White Russians, and I’ll join up.
I’m with Falcon.
Geez, no one wants to take the initiative here!
::grabs a cinder block, hurls it through a window and helps himself to a stereo::
THAT’S how you start a riot. Who’s with me?!
This has gone on too long, and someone should do SOMETHING.
If not us–Who?
If not now–When?
>goes to crafts cabinet and begins making signs that read
FREE THE WHITE RUSSIANS
I’M WHITE,PRO-RUSSIAN AND I VOTE
JUSTICE FOR THE WHITE RUSSIANS
Ok Everyone, I’ve found a cause, Let’s play
Who’s with me???
(first dibs on the looting and pillaging, just in time for Christmas, COOL)
This riot sucks.
Is someone gonna help me flip this car over, or are you all gonna watch until I pull arms out of socket?
::yawn:: this isn’t a riot… where’s the pepper spray? where are the paddy wagons? sheesh…
I was promised a riot, dammit, and I want one.
First I’m gonna loot me some new shoes (all the better to run away from the National Guard), then a new hat (all the better for the TV cameras). I am also in the market for some fine furnishings.
Now whats this business with the caucasians. I am all for white russians, and for the heavy cream challenged, black russians. So lets riot for a reason, I couldn’t read my ballot! I accidentally voted for sweet potatoes instead of green bean casserole as my favorite side dish. I demand a recount.
I WILL NOT LET THIS INJUSTICE STAND!!!
I did my part and rioted all last week. Unfortunately, I failed to check my “Up and Coming Events in Cincinnati” calendar beforehand, or I would have known those “Stop Globalization!” nuts were coming to town the same week.
Needless to day, they stole all my free publicity (I mean, not ONE damn reporter showed up to my subdivision) and I’m STILL sulking about it.
mumbling Lessee I know it’s in her somewhere… all right here it is…ok lets’s go
Pulls out “RIOT IN A BOX”
CONTENTS:
. martyr and/or cause
. alleged incident
. righteous indignation
. Pepper spray
. Paddy wagons
. Popeil’s amazing car flipper-overer
. Cinder blocks
. free beer for 10,000
. instigators
>throws whole mess out into the street<
Why do I have to think of EVERYTHING?
>proceeds to raise hell generally, grabs first unsuspecting bystander and kisses him passionately <
thinking Wow rioting gets me so HOT …
Hell. I’ve seen more pepper spray sitting on my ass in Sproul. Damn it where is the brutality??? Where are the random beatings? Where are the apeearences by Jesse Jackson asking for calm? And speaking of that, where are the moonies?
*Runs in Sucking a lemon
C’mon!! CMOOOONN!!!
what, no tear gas???
[teary-eyed Jesse Jackson]Now let’s just all calm down and work this out…[/teary-eyed Jesse Jackson]
Fuck that. Riot. I’m the only one in my department here today.
White Russians? You only need White Russians?
::picks up a rock and hucks it at the liquor store window::
Woohooo! Follow me! Dibs on the Sam Adams!
Tripler
Now this looks like a good riot in the making.