"I'm coming!": orgasm lingo in other languages....

My girlfriend and I were eating dinner with some friends recently, and we got into the conversation, I don’t remember how, about the most typical phrases used to signal an orgasm. The group was Taiwanese, Chinese, Japanese, and, me, the American.

I said that the phrase in English is “I’m coming.” (with certain spelling changes after time). Then, if I remember correctly:

French: “I’m here”, or “I’m there” (“Je suis là.”)
Japonese: “I’m going.”
Chinese: “I’m coming.”

I think that’s all we knew of.

First of all, are any of these wrong?

Second, I thought it was interesting that all of the phrases had something to do with travelling, and I’m wondering if it’s the same in most languages.

Just curious…

According to my phrasebook, the French for “I’m coming” is also “I’m coming” - “Je viens”. Or “I come”, depending on how you want to interpret it.

It also contains such helpful phrases as “These drugs are for recreational use” and “Where is the nearest cemetery?” Ain’t language fun?

IIRC, the phrase in Russian translates as “I’m finishing” and the verb carries such a strong sexual connotation that other forms of the verb for “to finish” must be used when you’re not talking about orgasms.

The very proper British are known to say “Oh dear, I seem to be arriving.”

Spanish uses “to come” as well, in the reflexive form (venirse).

In Australia women usually say, “what the hell was that?”

In Italian it is vengo, equivalent to “I’m coming” (literally “I come”; it’s the present tense but Italian uses present tense for an action in progress where English would use the gerand).

What phrasebook is that, the Berlitz Guide to Hot Sex? :eek: Or is that just a literal translation?

Q: What’s foreplay to an Australian man?
A: “Are you ready, Sheila?”

Yes, it could be said this way. Like in the (excellent) (and erotic) song by Gainsbourg and Birkin “Je t’aime, moi non plus” (I love you, me neither) that ends with a languorous “Maintenant…viens”.
But the archetypal depiction would have a character saying “je jouis” (litterally “I enjoy”, but it actually means simply “I have an orgasm”).

And actually, in my experience, I’ve heard more often the verb “jouir” in such situations. Actually, I’m not sure I ever heard “venir” .

(that said, it’s not like such a warning is issued every time, anyway…that’s way I refered to the way it’s usually depicted. For all I know it could be commonplace or common courtesy in the US to say “I’m coming”).
By the way, ** Gitfiddle **, it’s the first time I see “Je suis là” mentionned.
And while I’m thinking of it, what does “gitfiddle” mean?

Really? Man, we’ve been milking that joke for a long time, and it’s not even accurate!

The joke started because a Taiwanese friend of ours who used to live in Paris was a sort of connoisseur of porno. She told us about a French porn she saw during the course of which the girl who was having an orgasm started screaming, “Je suis là! Je suis là!”

I guess that’s one of those things that you hear once in a foreign language and you assume it’s what everybody says…

It means guitar. I had a friend once with a very thick Southern accent (or, many actually, but one in this particular case) who said, “G’on gee-uht yur gee-uhtfeedul.” (“Go get your guitfiddle” with a thick drawl), talking about my guitar. I had never heard it and found it quite funny.

I probably should have written it “guitfiddle,” but I don’t even remember why I chose it as a name, much less why I spelled it like that. I was but a boy when I signed up for the SDMB… :rolleyes:

Hmmm… would it be possible that she misheard something like : “Je jouis, oui, là, oui, je jouis, là je jouis”
Though maybe the actress actually said “je suis là”. I assume even porn movies have to be creative from time to time…

Well, even in English, you might say “I’m there!” in that circumstance, though it wouldn’t be that common.

Personally, I prefer to say " Daddy’s Home!"

Roy Blount, Jr. once wrote that Eston Gozando would be a good name for a baseball player but that it really meant “I am coming” in Portuguese.

When the friend told me that the actress said, “Je suis là,” I never thought to question it. Because that’s what my friend said the girl said, yet now I’m considering the level of French this girl had, and I’m thinking she misunderstood. Of all my Asian friends, she’s got, perhaps, the lowest French comprehension.

But in the end, the porno, I assume, is safely in Taiwan with her, so we’ll never know (unless I remember to ask her next year when I go to TW).

We’ll see. Until then, thanks for correcting me. My girlfriend and I will never make inaccurate porn jokes again…

My hovercraft is full of eels

Of subject…I find it weird that you say that, because I met an Irishman in Belgium once who could say “My hovercraft is full of sheep” in something like 22 langauges.

You know him?

Off subject” that is…

Lucky bastard; mine came with lampreys.

Anyway, from what I’ve seen of German porn, it’s still “I’m coming.” e.g., “Ich komme, ich komme!” Though, as a non-native speaker, I can’t say for sure it’s what they say in the bedroom.

And then, there’s always the traditional method of simply issuing successively louder grunts, climaxing (if you’ll pardon the pun) on a sound similar to taking a really really good dump.

According to the South Park movie, the phrase German people use in the bedroom is “Esse mein Scheisse, baybee!”

(“All rightie, then!”)