I'm confused how id theft can cause one to work in a pirate themed restaurant

I was gonna guess “everyone.”

Right… are they implying that he would have dumped her broke-ass if he’d known…? Or implying that you [can and] should check other people’s credit ratings?

The thing with those commercials is that I hear them once and they’re on constant loop through my brain for about three days. Seriously, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and inexplicably be brain-humming the pirate-credit song, or the broke-ass-skank song.*
ETA: I guess this means they work, huh?