Let’s get all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. Maybe they’ll have better luck with you than that humpty fella’.
Also: duct tape.
Lots of duct tape.
Jus’ wait ‘til th’ rush hits yoo!
There goes my eyeball … into my highball!
Next time you take a piss, DO NOT SHAKE.
Also: Avoid masturbation at all costs
When you can’t find your hand, look up your ass where you last wiped it.