I'm getting paid 10 bucks to sleep with an ugly, sweaty, smelly male.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

His name is Jethro.

Sure, he’s nice and all, but I’m having second thoughts.

It all started this week, when my uncle was looking to get Jethro a little “company”. It seems that Jethro doesn’t like to be left alone at night, and my uncle had to go out of town, so he couldn’t provide the proper “entertainment”.

So, as usual, I was pimped out by the parents who I thought I loved. “Sure,” they said with used-car-salesman smiles, "Walt will be HAPPY to “watch” Jethro, and make sure he doesn’t get too…“lonely. For a price, of course.”

I can’t believe I was sold for a measly 10 bucks. I feel so, violated. At the same time, though, I should’ve just expected it. I mean, this is the story of my life. Forced by my parents to sleep on a fold-out couch with a flatulent guy named after one of the Beverly Hill Billies.

Oh, wait, did I say sleep? Because I definitely WON’T be sleeping. He’ll be sure to keep me up all night, which is NOT what I need when I have a class in the morning. And I can’t just roll over and ignore him, since he’s quite persistent, always nuzzling, licking, etc., to make sure I stay awake. My uncle wasn’t kidding when he said that Jethro needs a lot of attention.

So that’s my night. “Sleeping” with good ol’ Jethro, the big, smelly dalmation.

And I think that those black spots he has all over him could be a bad sign. :smiley:

[sub]What!! What did you THINK I meant?[/sub]

2

so you’re sleeping with a giant, smelly, disgusting dude with big black spots on him?

I think I’d book, this guy sounds like a MUTANT!!!

:slight_smile:

have fun dog-sitting!!

3

Nice thread title.

Your folks should’ve held out for at least $15. Dalmations are generally dumb and stanky.

4

Aw, poor puppy. I do hope he’s fixed-dalmations are one of the most HYPER breeds.
Cats are better. They nuzzle against you and purr and are like a warm, buzzing heating pad, with soft fur.

5

That SUCKS!
HEEEeeeeeyyyyyyy…

wait a minute…

dogs don’t sweat…

[evil glare]

I done been cheated!

6

I believe that’s spelled Damnation . . . :smiley:

My favorite Damnation story comes from a former co-worker of Mr. S. She had two of them, and they would eat ANYTHING. One day she woke up just in time to see one of them barfing and the other one immediately gobbling up the mess. What a way to start your day . . . good luck, Jester!

7

Aw, geez…

For a second, I thought you were talking about iampunha’s roommate. :smiley:

::ducks and runs::

Robin

8

And Jethro has already made sure that I’ll get my daily allowance of Methane tonight. I swear to God, this dog has every bad habit ever. I just took him out for a walk, and I had no idea that it was physically possible to urinate so much. He was doing it as he was walking, for Chrissakes! That, and he stopped at every tree/bush/dead animal to mark his territory.

In case that didn’t answer your question, Guin, I’ll take this opportunity to say that no, Jethro is not neutered. That would’ve made things too easy.

I am the proud owner of a small, furry, Animal Rescue League special poodle/terrier mix, neutered. I am NOT used to a 170-pound purebred fart machine with black spots. I don’t need this!!

And oldscratch, bite me. Drooling is close enough to sweating. And he DOES drool. A lot.

Well, I’m off to bed. <shudder>

9

I woke up this morning with my 60 pound dog, a male Brittany named Buck, on my head. Well actually he was lying across the head of the bed wedged between the big pillow and the headboard. His head was right up on my pillow and he was licking me on top of my head. He had never done this before and I’m still not sure what his problem was. I got up and he ran out of the bedroom into the kitchen and proceeded to drink from his water bowel for a long time. Maybe he was just thirsty and wanted me to get up. I guess it worked.

Aren’t dog’s great?

10

What does Jester’s real dog think of…Jethro?

(I thought, incidentally, Jethro was your cousin. Obviously until the end. I thought he might be disabled so I didn’t wanna be rude…I was pretty relieved when I found the truth. ;))

11

Mermaid, I hope you mean water * bowl * ?

12

He doesn’t nuzzle or lick.

He does, however, snore something fierce. And he rolls a lot, such that at about 5 am, usually you can see about half of his butt.

And he needs a belt. And how.

This has been an episode of WTMI.

And ad_noctum, that was deliciously evil.

13

I must say, I definitely earned my 10 dollars last night.

My parents went upstairs to bed, leaving me with the beast for the duration of the night. This sparked a 15-minute whine-fest, in which Jethro demonstrated his horror at being left downstairs by making a wide variety of noises, many of which I did not think were physically possible. The only way to get him to shut up about this was, of course, to pet him.

Petting him started an unusual trend that went something like this:

  1. Jester pets Jethro on the head, and rubs his tummy so that Jethro will shut the Hell up, already.
  2. Jethro proceeds to shut the Hell up already, until Jester withdraws his hand from Jethro’s head in order to try to get to sleep.
  3. Jethro attempts to force himself into bed with Jester, and upon being rejected, simply nudges his head underneath Jester’s hand and whines pitifully until Jester pets him again.
  4. Rinse and repeat for approximately 3 hours, until the wee hours of the morning.

When Jethro finally got the message that, no, I didn’t want to pet him anymore, he went to sleep, and allowed me to do the same.

For about a half an hour.

At three in the morning, woke up and began barking forcefully at nothing in particular. My requests that Jethro once again shut the Hell up already were ignored, and I had to wait until the imaginary object got scared and ran away until I could go back to sleep, which is exactly what I did.

Until seven in the morning, when Jethro woke me up by sneezing forcefully on my head.

Ewwwwwwwwwww.

My skeeve-o-meter having maxed out, I decided that I would just get up. But as I stood up to go and get a shower, a door somewhere in the house opened, causing Jethro to get excited, and I was taken out at the knees by the four-legged equivilant of a white torpedo with black spots.

I was then trampled by my actual dog, Arly, who, though much smaller than Jethro, was still freaked out enough by the bigger dog to make a step on my face feel pretty significant.

At this point I conceded to gravity, and didn’t try to stand up again. I managed to crawl pitifully back into bed and sleep until I woke me up an hour later so that I could go to class, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

I love dogs.

14

Jester, what will Jethro do when you go back to school?