I think we’re getting off the point here, me not being promoted to management isn’t the prime reason why I think people don’t take me seriously, it’s more of a general attitude I receive from my peers, or being left out of important conversations, or spoken down to.
It’s either that or I literally get told literally to get back in my box when showing my own intiative
Its not every place I work, ironically the more blue collar jobs I’ve had there was less condescension, its just in specific jobs where its wholly office based
I think you hit the nail on the head here, from my own observations, my own boss who has been there for 10+ years, loves her job, but observing her interactions with the higher ups, it shows me they have no plans to promote her up and keep her around as a general dogsbody, I’ve asked if they would leave (She’s been offered more money by similar companies) She says no.
So in that light I think this kind of behaviour trickles down, I know I can quit this job and try another, bit I’m getting more cynical as to whether it’s going to be another dead end job with people having this kind of attitude.
Are you an outgoing person? Are you able to be calmly assertive when someone tries to step on you? Not aggressive, not unfriendly, not jutting out your chin (figuratively or literally), but definite in a friendly standing-your-ground sort of way. This is a skill that takes practice and maybe even some instruction, and requires a certain amount of confidence in yourself and your value to the enterprise. If you could manage to integrate this kind of behavior into your personality, I think you would find the attitudes of others would change.
At the risk of beating a dead horse, I’ll repeat what I said earlier in the thread.
The only behavior you have any control over is your own. Figuring out what to change or modulate about yourself is the first step, but then you have to actually change. It doesn’t have to be drastic, just enough to go from “doesn’t fit in” to “fits in a little”.
In addition, building on what @Roderick_Femm and others have said, if you don’t know how to get comfortable in an office-social sense, maybe join an organization like Toastmasters to work on how you present yourself?
If you are thinking about getting a different job, you might consider finding your next job with a large firm. I work in a Fortune 100 company with more than 100,00 employees. While there are disadvantages versus small to medium firms, there is also a lot more opportunity for upward and lateral movement in large firms, so if you find yourself in a department with a lot of “poor attitudes”, you can find a better situation without quitting.
If you’re going to look for a new job, broaden your search. If you have a construction background (understanding of construction projects and needs and the ins and outs, not necessarily a background working construction), consider jobs that would benefit from those skills. For example, my firm doesn’t have any construction business as such, but it has a huge facilities organization that manages and maintains hundreds of sites as well as opportunities in programs of record that require ground installations as part of performance.
And a final thought, paraphrasing Raylan Givens (substituting the italicized words):
You run into people with poor attitudes in the morning, you’ve run into people with poor attitudes. You run into people with poor attitudes all day, you’re the person with poor attitude.
My point was that you’re never going to get promoted to management if people don’t take you seriously. And who is telling you to get back into your box? Your boss? Your peers? If the latter, you don’t have to listen to them, they are not your bosses. Sometimes if you think something is worth doing you just need to do it without asking permission.
And I think Toastmasters is an excellent suggestion. It will give you feedback on how you are presenting yourself.
Or maybe the opposite? You’re so valuable as a salesman in the field I don’t want to stick you in the office as a manager.
Is that a thing in sales?
Yes, I think it’s a thing in sales, but a lot depends on the employee. If someone is very good at sales, it’s usually because they like to do selling, and might be unhappy and unproductive in an office supervisory role. Or they may be working extra hard at something they are willing to do, in order to get ahead, and would make a good supervisor. A good boss will know the person well enough to know if they fit either of these descriptions.
No offense to the OP but I wonder if his discussions with managers goes a bit like this.
I’ve been waiting for this link. Gotta love how that segment tells us that being a mere ensign, one who [shudder] makes reports for his superiors, is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to you; you cry out to your God to just kill you already, if all you are is an ensign on a starship. Deanna in particular is a real patronizing prick here. 
Wow. That’s insightful.
In person I’m a very elitist Poindexter full of complicated sentences, polysyllabic words, and condescending MBA-speak. My brother is a sole prop construction guy. He worked his way through a fancy Liberal Arts undergrad swingin’ a hammer and now at age 63 he’s still hammerin’ for a livin’ while reading Tolstoy (and writing learned critiques) in the original Old Russian during his time off.
He’s smart as hell, but also hard & course as hell. He and his crew cannot respect my too-soft indoorsy kind. We love each other, but …
If that’s the OP’s situation, he’s screwed here. Time to move on to selling in something less toxically overweaningly macho.
I was an engineer (electrical and aerospace) but late in my career, I decided to do warzone deployments. I found myself working with a lot of junior enlisted military. Some (by no means all) of these were like I described: hostile to people with formal education, big words, etc.
Over time, I found that changing my way of communicating made a difference. As you say, simple words. If they don’t know what a word means, you’ve fucked up. Which brings up another critical thing: cuss a blue streak!
Wrong: “This is unprecedented, and probably violates the Status of Forces Agreement”.
Right: “FUCK this shit!”
It may be possible for the OP to continue in construction sales after modifying his communication style, but I agree it will be harder to pull that off while staying in the same job. Maybe consider bringing his experience to a new company.
I want to apologize for my off-topic post, because I have a great deal of empathy with the OP and didn’t mean to just be flip in this thread. Another vote for Toastmasters; seriously check it out. You can’t change your personality, and shouldn’t, but you can learn to put forward certain aspects, bring out and enhance certain sides of yourself that can definitely give you advantages in business. TM is more than just about speaking skills. Although the method/practice is through speaking, it’s deeply personal what you choose to talk about, and how you talk about it. Good luck whatever you do.
Like @roderick_femm, I have many questions because there are just too many unknowns here to render a constructive opinion. One thing does catch my eye, though, and that is: “at every job I go to”. I don’t know how many jobs that is but, if it is happening over and over again in different settings involving different people. that is a good indication that there is something about you that is causing their response to you.
Perhaps exploring job success and management skills and comparing the skills and attitude you display at work to those benchmarks might be helpful. Perhaps discussing the matter with a friend at work who has managed to advance might also be helpful. Sometimes, it is hard to step outside of ourselves and observe ourselves objectively. The opinions of others can be very helpful.
One of the comments summed up my thoughts:
“How mad and depressed he became by becoming just a petty basic worker what 90% of the world’s population is. So what should 90% of the world’s population do then? Become depressed and suicidal because they will never be anything great like a captain Picard?”
I guess if I’d got in a bar fight when I was twenty and had my heart shot out, I’d be president of my company, instead of an engineer-drone. I. AM. A. FAILURE!
I hate that episode! Always have.
I think the point is that Picard was never cut out for that kind of life, he was very ambitious and would never be happy because of the mismatch between his personality and his job.
That doesn’t mean other people can’t be happy in that life.
But in reality? Probably not a lot of people in positions like that are happy with their jobs. That’s pretty typical, actually. But if you actually had a shot to have a fulfilling accomplished career, of course it would be maddening never to realize your full potential.
See: The OP. Fundamental mismatch between what he wants out of his career and what he’s getting. This is a tension that exists for a lot of people. And many people, while not exactly enthralled with their jobs, find meaning elsewhere.
The reality is that the episode is a sort of “It’s a Wonderful Life” fable where the lesson Jean-Luc Picard is supposed to learn is what one often considers a “mistake” in life may be actually have been an inflection point that fundamentally changed it for the better.
Not to hijack from the OP, but the episode is a little silly for a couple of reasons:
Tying back to the OP’s problems, it’s all well and good to try to “stand out” and “seek opportunities” but more fundamental to your career is your relationships with people. At any point in my career, I have generally been successful when I’ve had a strong network of people around me and less successful when I haven’t.
Generally I’ve found there are a couple of factors for being “taken seriously”:
Have the right credentials. Like it or not, sometimes it’s important to have the right degrees and letters next to your name. It shows people YOU take your job seriously enough to actually study it.
Behave as someone to be taken seriously. Dress well. Look presentable. Carry yourself with confidence. Speak clearly and intelligently. Be honest about what you know and what you don’t. Walk the walk so to speak.
Treat everyone as if they are going to talk about you to your boss/client/hiring manager. You never know when they might.
Have some sort of plan or goal and be proactive about moving towards it. The plan can change over time, but generally people have more respect for someone if they appear to be driving in a specific direction.
@Ryan_Liam, if you don’t mind me asking, how tall are you?
The problem is OP is not taken seriously by the co workers now so why would management promote the OP?
Also If the OP is working in construction how many years of experience does the OP have if the OP is going from job to job every year.