You’re on! Loser buys the pizza!
Hey, you look GREAT like that! One of personal favorites, I must say. When you’re done screaming incoherently (oops, almost left out the “s”, Freudian slip) then I’ll sit on the arm of the couch. Trust me, you’ll like it.
And Girlbysea this was about twelve years ago, but that was a seriuos meat market! That and Oceana on Thursday(?) night.
This is sort of embarrassing, but I know you’re the kinda guy that won’t mind…
I’m fresh out of Tampax. Can you pick me up a box?
Also, buy a coupla lottery tickets, wouldja? I’m feeling lucky. Here, get $5 worth for yourself, too. I mean lottery tickets, not tampons.
Really with the things I buy, the cashier doesn’t even blink when I get tampons. She too busy trying to figure out what kind of kinky thing I will use them for!
And honey, you don’t need Lottery tickets to get lucky!
[sub](on an aside, how can women run out of tampons? I NEVER run out of toilet paper, razor blades, shampoo, q-tips.)[/sub]
You use toilet paper every day of the month. Not so with tampons.
I’m convinced that the people that came up with the boxes for them put a hidden cavity in it somewhere so we’re SURE we reach in to get some and know we’ll have enough, but then the next time we go to get some, the number is halved.
Hi Opal!
Now, since you’re going out on a run again, can you bring me that Santa Maria Rum (that is what it was called, wasn’t it?), some candles and some chocolate syrup?
How much do I owe you again?
UncleBill… Gosh, those were the good ole days 
Thank God!! We got to enjoy those day’s before all of the RULES started 
Now… Sweetie, would you mind picking up a pizza, some Bud Light, oh hell, I’ll just give you my grocery list…
And UncleBill… Thank you
And sure, it’s all on the way. By the way, TP, your tab comes to, (scribble, scribble, scribble) Two and half weeks!
and Gbs, I’ll get the pizza and beer, but I will only pick up the groceries if they are to be used a la Mickey Rourke.
When is payment due? For this, I can clear my calendar at a moment’s notice…
What True Pisces said. Plus, whenever the old period finally winds down (I know, I know, some of you are thinking, what, Cranky is sometimes OFF her period?!?!) My only thought is, Thank God that’s over. I’m too relieved to think about the fact that I’m down to my last fuse.
So when the Aunt Flo shows up again, whether that’s 28 days later (on the pill) or 37 days later (no pill) or 13 months later (when I was nursing) I look in the blue box and say oh hell, I’m outta tampons.
I wonder though, maybe I could jerry-rig something using Q-tips, toilet paper, razors, and shampoo? There sure are a lot of those lying around.
Razors? RAZORS?!!! Cranky, dear, remind me NEVER to come by your place if I’m ever running out myself!
After we’re done with the couch…there’s always the kitchen table, the shower, the back yard…
But if you’re as good as you claim …
You’ll have to carry me cuz I’ll be too weak to walk
Or we could try the public places game or “How quietly can you have wild jungle sex”.
It’s up to you Uncle Bill…
or can I be dominant?
hardygrrl, Claim? Would you like references?!? If you are as good as I’m imagining, my knees may very well be weak also! As for the public place game, is under a fir tree just south of the Mall in Washington DC, right after the fireworks on the 4th of July public enough? We started out taking a pee, then things got randy! I have NO clue how quiet we were! But that was not “wild jungle sex”, so I guess I haven’t played that game. When is tit-off, oops, I mean tip-off?
And you want to be dominant? Go CowGirl!
Baby baby…
You’re taliking to the grrl who has “marked” a stockroom at her former retail job, a conference room at her current job and one of the women’s bathroom stalls at the Phoenix airport…
And I’ll show you dominant!
::handcuffs Uncle Bill to bed by wrists. Pulls out of goody bag a bottle of strawberry motion lotion,a large feather,a riding crop and piece of velvet. Grabs glass of ice off nightstand::
Ok marine…your orders are to not,I repeat not orgasm until I tell you to. We’ll see what you’re made of now…
Just don’t spill the Stawberry Motion Lotion on the Large Feather or Velvet… It kill’s the sensual joy and elation that shivers down my spine and gives me goose bumps when those are run over nmy… whatever.
And you want me to not orgasm, with this HOT bod handcuffing me to the bed?!? OK, then, honey, fasten your seatbelt, you are in for the ride of your life! Take a good look at what I’m made of, it’s all there!
:::gently rubs motion lotion just around the senstive nerve rich areas and blows gently::
::strokes Uncle bill with tip of feather in circular patterns from head to toe…follows with velvet::
Now for the special trick!
::wraps fake pearl necklace around hand,squirts a little baby oil on it and takes things into hand::
Why do I have this sudden urge to play " Uncle Bill’s a dimestore pony that I just put $20 worth of quarters into"?
Because you can see that the “dimestore pony” is a Stallion with a WILD look in his eyes.
And the oily fake pearl necklace? VERY nice touch! hardygrrl I DO like your special trick! It is getting me warmed up for the Big Event!
Lucky for you my nails are short.
Hopefully the room’s soundproofed…if thing go my way I do get pretty loud.
::straddles Uncle Bill and slowly eases herself onto him::
What do you like better? This?
::standard up and down grind::
Or this?
::does slow belly dancer hip circles::
Oh yeah…That’s the spot…
Apparently the slow belly dancer hip circles make for good spot hitting, and it surely feels great to me! Now lean a little forward, yup, right there. Mmmmm, you are GOOD!
::leans forward just enough to brush Uncle Bill’s face with her breasts::
Since your tongue seems to be idle…here’s something for it…
::speeding up the hip circles slightly::
And if you’ve got a free hand…I’m sure you can figure out where to use those nimble fingers
… to see if we’re still having virtual sex.
::checks watch::
Hey, seven hours! Let’s switch!
sorry…damn firewall doesn’t let me access the board from work so where were we…
I’m still on top doing hip circles…
You’re putting your tongue and fingers to good use…
But if you really want to switch…
::: eases off of Uncle Bill,panting and sweating. Undoes handcuffs and goes on all fours. Looks over shoulder at Uncle Bill:::
You’re in control now…so what are you going to do to me?