That’s why I added the proviso.
That was good thinking. For some reason I thought of Motley Crue and I shuddered.
LOJACK-If this millionaire thing works out, can I have the radio job?
I dunno – you shuddered when you thought of Motley Crue. You might be over-qualified. Most people are. My boss says I’m a rare individual to have exactly the qualifications required for the job.
Sunrazor:
It’s not the DIAMONDS that are in London. If he’d said that, I’d be really suspicious because, like, it’d be impossible to get diamonds out of Sudan, and if you did, you couldn’t sell them very easily – I mean, you’d have to go to e-bay or something to do that.
Well that proves it’s legit. Everyone knows of the famous Sudanese diamond mines, just down the road from their lake district and within sight of the Matterhorn.
Hey, I raised my fist and yelled while Tommy Lee’s drumset went out over the audience across the ceiling and laser pentagrams were all around. Thoughts of Motley Crue having sex with itself brought on the uncontrollable twitching of despair.
OK, this thing has taken a bizarre turn on me.
What I didn’t tell you guys in the foolin’ around was that I’d responded to Dr. Wada with the most cockamamie sob story I could think up. Either these guys are on autopilot, or the guy just doesn’t get it.
Here’s what I e-mailed back to him:
Dear Dr. Wada: I cannot tell you how delighted and blessed I am to receive your e-mail! This opportunity could not come at a better time for me. Several months ago the company I was working for went bankrupt because our financial officer has invested nearly $100,000 in an attempt to help retrieve $15 million in funds beingheld in escrow in Nigeria. Unfortunately, on the very day that our CFO flew to Lagos, the former government official who was to meet him and complete the transaction vanished into thin air; we suspect he was kidnapped or assassinated by someone who had discovered the location of the $15 million. At any rate, our CFO returned empty-handed, the loss of the $100,000 caused the company to fail, and I was left without a job. Since then I have used up all of my savings just trying to keep my property and family together.
Apparently, he didn’t get the hint, because now he’s asking me to fly to London with 4000 pounds for a “clearing charge.”
I am happy for your respond to assist me over this my only hope for life as i can not go back to my country again due to the national fund i have made away.I do understand your misery and condictions but i beleive that God has remember you again to meet up with life.
The fund is in one contend Box which i registered it as artifact , which we now need to clear it and move it to your house through diplomatic service with your address. The major thing i look for an assistance is the money to clear it from the security company as i have exhausted all i have during the time i arrived here in london.
This is an opportunity to us which we cannot miss to enable you have enough money to settle your debt as of me i will come over ther we will use this money to invest in any lucrative business you will introduce me to. As i will not go back to my country any more so all my hope in you now that you have accept to help me . base on your bad expirence with the prevoius people from nigeria , i want you to se my own as genuine.
To proof the genuniety you have to come over here with me so that we will finalized everything because seeing is beleive.
To which I have now responded:
Nothing would please me more than to bring the clearing charge immediately; your documents certainly look about as genuine as a Hollywood marriage vow. Unfortunately, as you might have guessed from my previous e-mail, I have no funds and no credit with which to borrow them. I would so hate to let this opportunity slip through my fingers – could you possibly advance me the funds, which I would of course pay out of my share? If this is not satisfactory, perhaps I could entice a young girl to accompany me; we could then sell her into bondage and use the money to pay the clearing fee. What do you think?
I can’t wait to see if this bozo replies.
nd_n8
November 15, 2007, 7:26pm
27
Sudaneese idio... err... Businessman:
To proof the genuniety you have to come over here with me so that we will finalized everything because seeing is beleive.
I am very pleased to inform you that I am in a position to provide you with the 4000 pounds (roughly $8000 American) to cover your charges and what ever the round trip tickets will cost for both of us (I’ll not let my investment venture over there alone). I will not charge you interest, just a return of the investment capitol when you are done.
Unfortunately, I too worked for a company that was scammed by an individual in Nigeria. While I did not lose everything, all of my liquid assets are currently frozen awaiting clearance from my bankruptcy attorney. I have managed to cover most of the attorney’s fees but am still $500 short of having him paid off so he can file the motion and clear the hold on my account.
If you could send me $500 so I can finalize my attorney’s fees I will gladly fund your adventure with this Sudaneese gentleman.
nd_n8:
I am very pleased to inform you that I am in a position to provide you with the 4000 pounds (roughly $8000 American) to cover your charges and what ever the round trip tickets will cost for both of us (I’ll not let my investment venture over there alone). I will not charge you interest, just a return of the investment capitol when you are done.
Unfortunately, I too worked for a company that was scammed by an individual in Nigeria. While I did not lose everything, all of my liquid assets are currently frozen awaiting clearance from my bankruptcy attorney. I have managed to cover most of the attorney’s fees but am still $500 short of having him paid off so he can file the motion and clear the hold on my account.
If you could send me $500 so I can finalize my attorney’s fees I will gladly fund your adventure with this Sudaneese gentleman.
Does your attorney like young girls? Boys? Sheep?