I'm going to be incredibly wealthy! No, really ...

[Anaamika]

[QUOTE=Kuboydal]
Just think of Motley Crue and you will realize that you typed a wee bit quickly.
[/QUOTE]

That’s why I added the proviso.

[Kuboydal]

[QUOTE=Anaamika]
That’s why I added the proviso.
[/QUOTE]

That was good thinking. For some reason I thought of Motley Crue and I shuddered.

LOJACK-If this millionaire thing works out, can I have the radio job?

[Sunrazor]

[QUOTE=Kuboydal]
LOJACK-If this millionaire thing works out, can I have the radio job?
[/QUOTE]
I dunno – you shuddered when you thought of Motley Crue. You might be over-qualified. Most people are. My boss says I’m a rare individual to have exactly the qualifications required for the job.

[RealityChuck]

[QUOTE=Sunrazor]
It’s not the DIAMONDS that are in London. If he’d said that, I’d be really suspicious because, like, it’d be impossible to get diamonds out of Sudan, and if you did, you couldn’t sell them very easily – I mean, you’d have to go to e-bay or something to do that.
[/QUOTE]
Well that proves it’s legit. Everyone knows of the famous Sudanese diamond mines, just down the road from their lake district and within sight of the Matterhorn.

[Kuboydal]

[QUOTE=Sunrazor]
I dunno – you shuddered when you thought of Motley Crue. You might be over-qualified. Most people are. My boss says I’m a rare individual to have exactly the qualifications required for the job.
[/QUOTE]

Hey, I raised my fist and yelled while Tommy Lee’s drumset went out over the audience across the ceiling and laser pentagrams were all around. Thoughts of Motley Crue having sex with itself brought on the uncontrollable twitching of despair.

[Sunrazor]

OK, this thing has taken a bizarre turn on me.

What I didn’t tell you guys in the foolin’ around was that I’d responded to Dr. Wada with the most cockamamie sob story I could think up. Either these guys are on autopilot, or the guy just doesn’t get it.

Here’s what I e-mailed back to him:

Dear Dr. Wada: I cannot tell you how delighted and blessed I am to receive your e-mail! This opportunity could not come at a better time for me. Several months ago the company I was working for went bankrupt because our financial officer has invested nearly $100,000 in an attempt to help retrieve $15 million in funds beingheld in escrow in Nigeria. Unfortunately, on the very day that our CFO flew to Lagos, the former government official who was to meet him and complete the transaction vanished into thin air; we suspect he was kidnapped or assassinated by someone who had discovered the location of the $15 million. At any rate, our CFO returned empty-handed, the loss of the $100,000 caused the company to fail, and I was left without a job. Since then I have used up all of my savings just trying to keep my property and family together.
Unfortunately, I have failed at both. My house was repossessed last month and my wife took our two little children, drained the last of my savings account and went home to Montana to live with her parents. I now have a part-time job, but my debts continue to mount and creditors are threatening to take the little wage I do make. My credit is ruined because I have had to declare bankruptcy – I can’t even buy food with my credit card. So, as you can imagine, your e-mail was a Godsend to me. Please tell me what I can do help you retrieve your funds from Sudan. The sooner we complete the transaction, the sooner I can pay off all of my debts, regain posession of my home and perhaps even get my family back. And please be careful – I would hate to have someone else find out about the $12.6 million and do something terrible to you. Sincerely,

Apparently, he didn’t get the hint, because now he’s asking me to fly to London with 4000 pounds for a “clearing charge.”

I am happy for your respond to assist me over this my only hope for life as i can not go back to my country again due to the national fund i have made away.I do understand your misery and condictions but i beleive that God has remember you again to meet up with life.
Now this is how we proceed to have this fund actualized as i did not disclosed to the security company the content of the box.

The fund is in one contend Box which i registered it as artifact , which we now need to clear it and move it to your house through diplomatic service with your address. The major thing i look for an assistance is the money to clear it from the security company as i have exhausted all i have during the time i arrived here in london.
I have all the document of deposit and my passport as well which you will find in the attachment.

This is an opportunity to us which we cannot miss to enable you have enough money to settle your debt as of me i will come over ther we will use this money to invest in any lucrative business you will introduce me to. As i will not go back to my country any more so all my hope in you now that you have accept to help me . base on your bad expirence with the prevoius people from nigeria , i want you to se my own as genuine.

To proof the genuniety you have to come over here with me so that we will finalized everything because seeing is beleive.
The major thing is the 4000 pounds clearing charge from the securty company to clear the consgnment which is my main purpose of contacting you as i have try my best here to raise this money which was not easy for me because i have been in the hotel since couple of month i have been here.I beleive you have to come to london so that you will see everthings with you eyes.
Download the attachment and see the document and get back to me.

To which I have now responded:

Nothing would please me more than to bring the clearing charge immediately; your documents certainly look about as genuine as a Hollywood marriage vow. Unfortunately, as you might have guessed from my previous e-mail, I have no funds and no credit with which to borrow them. I would so hate to let this opportunity slip through my fingers – could you possibly advance me the funds, which I would of course pay out of my share? If this is not satisfactory, perhaps I could entice a young girl to accompany me; we could then sell her into bondage and use the money to pay the clearing fee. What do you think?

I can’t wait to see if this bozo replies.

[nd_n8]

[QUOTE=Sudaneese idio… err… Businessman]
To proof the genuniety you have to come over here with me so that we will finalized everything because seeing is beleive.
The major thing is the 4000 pounds clearing charge from the securty company to clear the consgnment which is my main purpose of contacting you as i have try my best here to raise this money which was not easy for me because i have been in the hotel since couple of month i have been here.I beleive you have to come to london so that you will see everthings with you eyes.
Download the attachment and see the document and get back to me.
[/QUOTE]
I am very pleased to inform you that I am in a position to provide you with the 4000 pounds (roughly $8000 American) to cover your charges and what ever the round trip tickets will cost for both of us (I’ll not let my investment venture over there alone). I will not charge you interest, just a return of the investment capitol when you are done.

Unfortunately, I too worked for a company that was scammed by an individual in Nigeria. While I did not lose everything, all of my liquid assets are currently frozen awaiting clearance from my bankruptcy attorney. I have managed to cover most of the attorney’s fees but am still $500 short of having him paid off so he can file the motion and clear the hold on my account.

If you could send me $500 so I can finalize my attorney’s fees I will gladly fund your adventure with this Sudaneese gentleman.

[Sunrazor]

[QUOTE=nd_n8]
I am very pleased to inform you that I am in a position to provide you with the 4000 pounds (roughly $8000 American) to cover your charges and what ever the round trip tickets will cost for both of us (I’ll not let my investment venture over there alone). I will not charge you interest, just a return of the investment capitol when you are done.

Unfortunately, I too worked for a company that was scammed by an individual in Nigeria. While I did not lose everything, all of my liquid assets are currently frozen awaiting clearance from my bankruptcy attorney. I have managed to cover most of the attorney’s fees but am still $500 short of having him paid off so he can file the motion and clear the hold on my account.

If you could send me $500 so I can finalize my attorney’s fees I will gladly fund your adventure with this Sudaneese gentleman.
[/QUOTE]
Does your attorney like young girls? Boys? Sheep?