If you aren’t used to Cracker Barrels stop at one of those for lunch or dinner too.
Oh LAWD,
Don’t get me started on Cracker Barrel.
Love all their breakfast items, not too fond of their bacon laden lunch and dinners.
May God have mercy on your arteries.
JEFF FOXWORTHY: “If you have a Waffle House credit card, you might be a redneck!”
I like CB as well, but can’t stand the cutesy names they give their menu items. I just tell the waiter - “I want two eggs, some bacon, and grits. I don’t care if that’s Grandma’s Breakfast, the Homestyle Breakfast, the Homestead Exemption Breakfast… whatever it is that y’all call it, I want two eggs, bacon, and grits.”
Curmudgeon Special on table six!
As long as my bacon is crisp, you young whippersnappers!
“I went to Waffle House last night. I’ll tell ya, I thought the iHop was a dump until I went into a Waffle House. Wow they’re not even trying in there! Here’s something you’ll never hear in a Waffle House, ‘Nice job cleaning up!’. Now if you’ve never been to a Waffle House, just imagine a gas station bathroom that sells waffles. Now you’ve been to a Waffle House. I love Waffle House. And not just because watching someone fry an egg while smoking reminds me of my dad. It’s the people in there. It’s like a white trash convention…or for me, a family reunion!… I’ve seen a gun five times in my life, three of those were in Waffle Houses. There’s definitely a dangerous feel to them. Even the sign looks like a ransom note. There’s always a letter out, occasionally it’s the ‘W’, so it reads ‘AFFLE HOUSE (awful house).” Eh it’s 2 am, lets go to the Affle House. Their slogan should be: ‘It’s 2 AM; Still Time to Make One More Bad Decision." You go in there and everyone’s drunk. You know everyone’s drunk in Waffle House because they have pictures of the food on the menu. How drunk do you have to be to not remember what a waffle looks like? ‘Oh yeah, it’s like a plaid pancake. I’ll have 12 of those for a nickel.’ Did you ever go in a Waffle House during the day? That’s weird. ‘This place looks farmiliar. I think I threw up in here…Oh there it is!’"
Remember when the Waffle House got sued for racial discrimination for serving a group of black people grits with dead flies in them? And their response was “Hey, a lot of our grits have flies in them!”
[high pitched whispery voice] Labdad, you must have missed my post[/hpwv]
Jim Gaffigan
Well, I certainly did! And too late now to edit, so this will just stand as a monument to my dumb assery!
Their chili isn’t bad either.
There are times when your colon just demands the lowest common denominator!
I am a former Waffle House “Grill Operator”. This is how they’re done.
A lot of the time, the difference in taste and texture in the eggs from Waffle House is due to the use of a product called Lo-Melt. It’s a butter-flavored vegetable-based shortening that comes in a big can, and is what all eggs and hashbrowns are cooked in. You do NOT want to know how much goes into those nice, fluffy WH omelettes.
You need a small Lodge cast iron skillet. These are stored with a thin layer of Lo-Melt to prevent rusting. One skillet per order of scrambled w/cheese.
Take two slices of cheese, dip into Lo-Melt, place in skillet at the side of the grill. Make an order of scrambled eggs (2 eggs), and dump into heated cheese in the skillet. Mash together with a spoon.
That’s it.
I seriously think THIS needs to be a bumper sticker!!!
Holy Crap where can I buy a rusty can of this manna from heaven called Lo-melt?
Thx for this great insider, behind the scenes, Anthony Bourdain nugget of experience.
Much appreciated Tears.
I love that they’re one of the last products to stick with trans fats. No fear, there.
Jesus does no one appreciate butter? No offense but lo melt (butter flavored crisco?) on waffles is just horrible.
Yep. . . and you’re all excited about it. . . not sure what I think about that. I eat there maybe once a month of so. Not a bad place to eat in a pinch. . . or if you’re hungry and it’s late.
Ooooh, I loves me some Waffle House. From Peachtree City, GA to the one in northern Maryland on I-95, they’re a blessing. Also found one near Scranton, PA.
Scattered, smothered and covered please. Cheese omlette, side 'o sausage ( and yeah, damned fine spicy. Like Scrapple, actually. ). Unsweet tea. Heaven…