As a lot of Dopers know I am oilfield trash and I work at night so most “mornings” (3:30 - 4:30 pm) I head on over to the Waffle House for breakfast (grilled Texas cheesesteak double plate, scattered hard, double covered, diced and topped). I stopped in there today and this is what happened:
Sitting at the “low counter” is this Mulleted, long gray haired, toothless, redneck guy listening to Donny? Falwell (Jerry’s kid) on a Walkman type thingie and passing on (to no one in particular)valuable information such as.
“Preach it preacher, hehe heh” , “Glory be to God, heh heh”, “Amen, heh heh”, “Hallelujah, heh heh” and the one that really confused me “Jehova ratha, heh heh” (I’m not exactly sure what was so funny but everything he said was followed with a laugh).
Then he starts telling no one in particular that “the Rev. Falwell is in India where they worship Rats and contort thier bodies, and that is just sinful”.
(at this point I am having a hard time controlling my laughter).
And the truly bizarro part is that no one reacted to this guy at all, not me or the Cop sitting at the other end or anybody.
And to answer the question, I am just west of Baton Rouge, LA.
What is there to really react to? The guy’s not breaking any rules or laws when he talks to himself. Actually, in my neck of the woods, he’s not that weird. Live and let live, I say. Yeah, Waffle House is great.
Drove to Florida two seperate times in the past three years and heading down through anything south of I-75, you can’t swing a dead redneck without hitting a Waffle House. Damn good breakfast, and coffee you can stand your spoon up in. Always packed, and full of the biggest cross section of America you’ll find anywhere.
What are you people talking about? You don’t go to a Waffle House when the sun’s up! You only go to a Waffle House at 2 AM when there are the really interesting people about. Going any other time is just a waste. You’ll miss the flirting off-duty cops and the hopped-up waitresses and the greasy guy in something resembling a black trash bag muttering and swaying in a corner, and the college students pulling all-nighters, and the drunks and the potheads and the cokeheads, and the teenagers giggling because they are doing something naughty. If you get really lucky you will find a Waffle House with an old jukebox that only has twelve songs (three by Elvis) and if you have a dollar in change you can have yourself a really bizarre party on the cheap. And the waffles are excellent the later/earlier it gets.
MUFFIN,
In WH language that makes perfect sense, here is the English version First the Sammich:
Thin sliced steak grilled with salt, pepper and onions on grilled white bread with 2 pieces of cheese.
And now for the hash browns (everything at WH comes with hash browns):
A double order of them scattered on the grill so that they are well done, grilled with diced tomatoes and a piece of cheese on each one, all covered with chili.
And make sure you’re listening to David Wilcox’s “Waffle House” on your headphones because “when it’s time that you slow up, wrap both your hands around your cup, and stay until the feeling goes, as long as there’s broken hearts and dreams, and all of this highway in between, The Waffle House will never close.”
Damn song’s gonna be stuck in my head all night now.
I think we should pull all of our money out of T-bills and put it into…:whack:
WAFFLES! TASTY WAFFLES WITH LOTS OF SYRUP!!
[/gratuitous Family Guy reference]
Last year the WH by my work got torn down to the bare earth and rebuilt. I just went there last week and it looks like they kept the old grills and waffle irons.
Tastes like it too.
I love Waffle House. No matter how bad I feel, I know there is someone at the Waffle House that has it much worse than me and they are usually working the grill.
My all time favorite was a woman in a Waffle House near the Nashville airport. She was missing several teeth, smoking a cigarette, trying to keep her dip in and poking at a plate of hash browns (smothered, covered and capped) while complaining that her boyfriend didn’t respect her.
When I walk in to a WH I must check the juke box for “proud mary”. The Rev. Billy C. Wirtz wrote a song about a WH in Hattiesburg, MS burning down and it goes through my head evertime I walk through those doors.
Here are some lyric bits (the Rev. is a poet sob)
“As I walked in the waffle shop, the truckers were boasting.”
“The griddle was griddling and the toaster was toasting.”
“The formica countertop began to bubble and then it began to swell.”
“Oh God was there no way out of this 24 hr. breakfast hell.”
“Eggy the cook screamed and gave a horrible last gasp.”
“As his pants melted into a molten double knitted mass.”
“The truckers were praying.”
“And “proud mary” was still playing.”
Waffle House fire" by Reverend Billy C. Wirtz
And back on topic what does “Jehovah ratha” mean?
Unclviny
WAFFLES WAFFLE WAFFLES!!!
Quick Cambot gimme triple berry!
W is for the many ways that you’re served
A is for the admiration you deserve
F because you’re fluffy you’re flaky you’re fun!
And F is for the flavor that is second to none
L is for how light you are you melt in my mouth!
And E is for Eggs
Oh baby put 'em all together with a how do you do
Lovely Waffles We Love
Serve me up another please!
Waffles We Love
Top mine off with runny cheese!
Waffles We Love
Chilli waffles suit me fine!
Waffles We Love
Wash me down with Aunt Jemima
Waffles We Love YOOOOOOOOOUUUU
Pancakes!
-Courtesy of MST3K
Damn, unclviny, that sounds good. Although I’d say hold the chilli.
Eh. Waffle House jumped the shark for me when they stopped offering the All-You-Can-Eat.
I still like the hashbrowns with the various toppings, though. And the patty-melts, which were a staple of said All-You-Can-Eat special.
I remember a few years ago they used to have a few facts on the menu, such as those about Coke and how it was “served at 38 degrees for optimum carbonation” and with “dry ice (as opposed to ‘wet ice’)”. To what they referred (and thus meant) with regard to the latter, I don’t know.
Anyone ever play the songs? Care to give a quick review of them if you had?
Damn, the Python Dopers must all be asleep. 17 posts and I have not yet been stoned for saying “Jehovah”. I really am looking for an explanation of Jehovah ratha though.
[slight hijack]
Back in the 90’s I was living down south with an ex-fg, and we were driving from Clearwater, FL back up to Atlanta on night/early morning. We stopped at a WH at about 4 am and ordered eggs, hash browns (scatterer, smothered, and covered for me thank-you) coffee, and etc. The ‘Chef’ starts cooking, and of course the first step was to ladle a big ol’ dollop of lard onto the griddle. My girlfriend observed this, elbowed me and said “What the fuck is that?!?” - loud enough of course for everyone in the Awful Waffle to hear her. Heh. We were getting some sideways looks, anyhow. This chick had the ‘EuroTrash’ look down to a science, and I think these good old boys hadn’t seen anything like her except on TV. It was a good time.
[/slight hijack]
To the OP…
This made me think of a Stephen King novel:
