Background - married for 4 years, have adult step son. When I met his mother, they had lived in small apartments all his life. Dad lives in a 24 year old, single wide trailor and works part-time, cash under table since doesn’t want to lose welfare benefits. Step son wants to follow fathers example and is showing great promise and natural ability. Mom worked as secretary scrapping by. When we were married, we kept expenses down while throwing as much money as possible into downpayment. It worked splendidly and we were able to construct a new house with a 20% downpayment in a nice neighborhood.
When step son first came in the new house, he was over-awed. He loved the place and has since dropped several hints about moving back in (all of which were ignored - no job, not going to school, treated mom with disrespect and treated our things shabbily). He was delighted since his whole life has been in crampled living quarters. He then sat on the new couch, splayed out and proceeded to say 3 times in 10 minutes (and has repeated it since) “I’m going to live here when you die”.
WTF!? First of all, what kind of statement is that to make? Fuck you! Are you praying for us to die so you can have all our stuff? Well, dickless, let me tell you some things:
Your not my son, what makes you think you’ll get my stuff? Little do you know that your mom and I already discussed and if I die, my stuff goes to your mom and when she dies, it goes to 2 charities! Your mom may give you her money but since I make 4x what she does, that means much less then you think!
Your mom has already expressed reservations about giving you much. You don’t work, have told us that we’re stupid for working and she doesn’t want to see her effort go to waste. She is seriously considering most of her part to charity also!
Opal gets nothing.
Now here is the part you overlooked in your greed, dickless, I’M ONLY 16 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU! Most people still consider me ‘young’ and not even ‘middle aged’. WTF! Are you that brainless? I will probably OUTLIVE YOU given that you sit on your ass all day playing games and are obese.
This is unfreakinbelievable! The fact that he says it so matter-of-factly means he really thinks it is so. Dream on!!
Well, take this with a grain of salt because I don’t know him or how he’s likely to take it, but have you told him that he isn’t getting squat? Inform him of the fact that his sitting around the house waiting for you to die will probably net him a few gray hairs and no dollar bills for his trouble.
Oh, and on a side note, you may want to change the “your” in your sig to “you’re.”
B.D., if your wife is giving him money now, then you might need to get used to the idea that a lot of your money will go to him if you die first. Of course, life can be a relative term, and I’m not sure what to call what he’s doing. I wish you luck in any case.
No, wife is not giving him any money of significance and I do wish to note that he does not live with us.
Oops - I’ll have to change my sig damnit!
I don’t think about him much anymore but something will trigger a memory like the Crispin Glover thread. The guy is a real character and have some great stories. I hope in a few years I can tell them in-family because he has changed so much since his bad days - but probably not. People can change but most don’t. The ones that do are an inspiration.
If you really want to make sure that this burden of the tax payers doesn’t get any of your hard earned money see a lawyer. Have a will drawn up and let him know (and others) that he isn’t going to get one red cent.
Also, would you be willing to change your tune if he woke up and got a job?
IANAL, and I don’t know what state you live in or what community property or intestacy statutes apply, but if you want to keep his grubby hands off your loot you need to do some basic estate planning. Specifically, a will which either disinherits him (“It is my intention that Bozo T. Lazyass receive nothing from my estate.”) or leaving him a token amount. Under Wisconsin law, step-children can be in line to inherit if the step-parent dies intestate (without a will), and if they are not mentioned by name in the document it’s possible to contest the will, claiming that “Dear Duck meant to leave me an equal share of his property but he just forgot to include me in the will.” Not the most successful ploy but it still eats up assets of the estate. A decent lawyer can draw up a basic will, or your state may have a basic will form written directly into the statutes.
Already have a will but thanks for the advice. We never told him because we’re only in our thirties and not even late thirties (but getting close )
If he truly changed, I would reconsider. I still don’t think he should get it all but he would get some. I do have some relatives that are deserving and could use it.
I had a friend that passed away a few months ago after a long bout with cancer. She, like you, had remarried after having children and had bought a house with her new husband. By this time all of her children were grown and she seldom saw them as theywere drop-outs and drug addicts.
With her new husband she had made a new life for herself and bought all new stuff( the house, couches, cars, etc.). Before she died she was battling cancer, of course, and the majority of her life insurance went to paying off medical bills. What was left she willed to her husband and a small amount went to her three children.
The kids threw a fit. They were apparently unhappy with their inheritance and filed a lawsuit against the husband. Fortunately he has not had to spend much. I believe he has felt comfortable using a public defender, as any judge would have definitely ruled in his favor.
Nonetheless, he has had to waste time battling over what was his in the first place and the kids have been a non stop pain in the ass.
Nothing of real signifigance to add, just to second what has been said about having a will. Make sure both you and Mrs. BlinkingDuck specify in your wills that the surviving spouse gets the house. There should be a clause in there about what should happen if you both die at the same time; something like, “The house is to be sold, and all proceeds given to ABC Charity.”
IANAL, but I think Otto is correct in that you can specifically make sure he does not get the house when you are gone.
Space Ghost - already brought that up and he laughed in my face saying “Why would I want to do that?” I come from a military family myself and think it would do you real good.
Tell the ungrateful prick he is not welcome in the house and you would sooner leave it to your cat than him. And he should start to be real nice to the cat!
Never mind the legalities of all this and who gets what; where does somebody get the brass-plated balls to walk into someone else’s house and start spouting off about getting it from them when they die?!? This is so far past uncouth that he can’t even see it from where he is. It is definitely on my list of Things You Just Don’t Do.
Sheesh, and I thought this was going to be a thread about JW’s…
-Ben
(Best of luck, BD! I have a vision of you, the night after the will is read, floating Morley-like over his bed and having a good laugh at his expense.)
Kids, cause that’s all he is, always think that they’re invulnerable, future consequences just don’t exist.
You can cut him out of your estate but it will not mean much to him, it’s out of his mental grasp.
He cannot understand the long term consequences of indolence and anything you do will just be seen as spiteful.
That should not bother you in the slightest, just make sure that he is cut out of your estate and when the time comes, as it inevitably will when he is on hard times, remind him of his comments and tell him to fuck off.
Print this thread off too and let him read and see that the rest of the world thinks he is a complete and utter wanker.
Then you’d LOVE my aunt (not even a blood relative but my uncle’s wife) who walked into my grandmother’s home with a FUCKING MAGIC MARKER and…wait for it…
PUT HER NAME ON THINGS IN “INCONSPICUOUS” PLACES so that we would know what to give her when Grandma passes on.
Grandma didn’t know she did it until we picked up a beautiful European vase and saw her ugly ass name scrawled along the bottom of it.
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