Although my Feminist streak is deep rooted, I am just now- on the far side of my mid-thirties- coming down against the use of the word Bitch.
I’ve long been able to academically appreciate the idea that using a gender specific word carries the broader implication that there is something inherently or at least specifically Female about the traits that word is being used to describe. Despite my academic grasp on the concept, I have always been surrounded by strong, independent, self-actualized women who will without pause use the word Bitch to describe a woman they see being mean or rude or inconsiderate or in any way hurtful to another person. It is the validation the word received from so many women in my life that eased up any opposition I may have had to its use.
The justifications just feel like justifications to me now.
There was never a major epiphany. No event that changed my mind. It’s just been growing for a while and it’s finally come to this. I’m not going to use the word Bitch anymore. Practical application of the word does not negate the truth in the academic argument that, though it may be directed at only one individual, the word impugns all women. If a woman is rude, to call her a bitch implies there is something specifically female in her rudeness. If a woman is cruel, to call her a bitch implies there is something specifically female in her cruelty.
If a man is mean, if a man is rude, if a man takes advantage of good people, if he lies, if he is inconsiderate I would call him an asshole. There is nothing gender specific about calling someone an asshole. The only reason the word is generally reserved for men is that we have Bitch as an alternate to apply to women. I am not using Bitch anymore. Since Asshole is not gender specific, from now on when a woman is mean, when a woman is rude, if a woman takes advantage of good people, if she lies, if she is inconsiderate I will call her an asshole.
What about the word “douchebag”? I was just thinking today that that word usually applies to only the male sex (even though an actual douche bag seems to me to be more of a female thing.)
My take is that I’ve always felt like the terms “jerk” and “bitch” had essentially the same meaning with one being the male version (a reference to masturbation) and the other being the female version (a female dog).
Of course, asshole works just as well, but it’s a little more profane than I’d want to use all that often.
I call women assholes all the time*. Not because I have any particular issue with the word bitch (or even cunt, for that matter) but because asshole, IMO, bites a little harder than something that we’ve all heard 10,000 times. I just recently referred to a woman as a douchebag, as well.
Well, not really “all the time.” But if I am to insult a woman for asshole behavior, I’m more likely to call her an asshole than anything else. Bitchy behavior (which I encounter pretty rarely, actually) = “bitch.” Totally unacceptable cunty behavior = “cunt.” They’re all different words to me. Maybe I use “asshole” so much because it’s generally the most applicable? I dunno.
Yes, the “something specifically female” would be her. Sort of makes sense.
Disagree. Asshole = man behaving in a certain manner. Bitch = woman behaving in a certain manner. Nothing wrong with an economic language which communicates not only what a person’s behaviour is, but also the sex of the person in one neat little package.
I’ve always felt the worst thing about not having a dick is that you can’t tell some asshole who has pissed you off to suck it.
Lick my pussy just doesn’t have the same effect.
Yup, I agree. Besides, asshole is a masculine sounding word. All that aside, if a person is being rude, mean, bullying and so on, why not just use THOSE words? To me they’re much more specific. Asshole and bitch are much more broad.
Cunt is a great insult that’s equally appropriate for men or women, as long as said person is being a cunt. Asshole is completely unisex as well. I’ve simply never been able to figure out how the word is supposed to demean all men or all women.
There’s so many choices. You could go with virago, termagant, harpy, shrew, beldame, etc. One advantage to that is, if you’re overheard, you can escape an ass kicking by the asshole if she doesn’t understand what you meant. Feminism is great, but it’s still embarrassing to be beaten up by a woman.
(Or a little girl. You know, that’s actually worse.)
I think you are getting overly bound up trying to be a good PC epithet user when no one will appreciate your efforts. Women use “bitch” on other women because it has a particular sting. It’s traditionally an insult for a man, calling a woman an “asshole” is enough out of context as an insult for a woman IMO it’s almost meaningless. It’s hypothetically insulting, but it has almost no real impact whatsoever. It’s like calling a man a bitch.
Toward heterosexual men? As a broad categorical insult? I haven’t seen that. The only time I’ve seen it used hetero on hetero is to denigrate the man’s masculinity primarily if they are being whiny or complaining.
Yup. When directed towards a woman, a “bitch” is someone who displays masculine characteristics (being assertive, arrogant or aggressive). When directed towards a man, it’s someone who displays feminine characteristics (being submissive, weak or lacking in confidence). Therefore, some woman actually take pride in the word “bitch”, while a man would never do so.
Unless your name is Jesse Pinkman, in which case the word “bitch” can be used to signify any emotion including fear, anger, joy, depression, confusion, assertiveness, surprise, boredom, etc, etc, and can be used in any context to refer to men, women, children, animals, plants, minerals and, not least, magnets.