I just finished the loathsome task of folding freshly laundered clothing from the dryer. There were 11 pairs of my husband’s boxer shorts.
This is in violation of accepted laws governing the space-time continuum, as I am positive I did laundry 3-4 days ago, and CairoSpouse only wears one pair/day.
Only one explanation fits with the universe as we know it: It’s a feline conspiracy of some sort.
They know I hate folding clothes. Why are they doing this to me?
He’s obviously hiding dirty laundry when you’re not looking.
Next question.
Your Spouse has a time machine and just stopped by to leave the laundry.
Has he missed a birthday or anniversary lately? Seem to have more money than usual upon returning from the track or after a porting event?
He’s having an affair and his paramour doesn’t do laundry? (hint: check for lipstick.)
Sometimes men do change their undies more than once a day, although 11 pairs strikes me as a bit much.
A more prosaic explanation is that he simply found a stash somewhere and put them in the laundry. Or you didn’t wash boxers last time.
Robin
I’ve got the same problem. Only one of the five cats does this, but I’m convinced she likes to fill up the hamper because she stage-dives into the basket when I remove the laundry from the dryer. The more warm underwear, the merrier!
I’m convinced she’d put towels in there if she could carry them. So far, all she can manage is socks and shorts.
I’ve always maintained that dirty laundry clones itself, then the clones disapparate when they have been folded and put away. There are never as many clean pair of underwear as what was in the hamper. It’s the only explanation that ever made sense to me.
The Lion, The Witch and the Laundry Hamper.
Clearly when you go into the hamper, you fall into Narnia. The time you spend there is different from the time spent in the ‘real world’.
I tend to lose boxers (and socks) so perhaps there IS a rent in the continuum and the portal is between my laundry room and yours?
Now if only we could use this for something good, like chocolate…
Gee, I don’t fold my hubby’s underwear. I did when we were first together, then I noticed that no matter how neatly I folded them and put them in his dresser, they were a jumbled pile in a few days from him pawing through looking for just what he wants. So I stopped folding.
The only times since then that his underwear has been folded is when my kids were younger and wanted to “help mommy fold laundry”. I’d give them the stuff to fold that wouldn’t have been folded anyway because then it didn’t matter how badly they did it.
What? It works for me, is all I’m sayin’.
Many good possibilities to mull over in the posts above.
The scariest implication (never explicitly stated by my kind fellow Dopers) is: My husband has a dirty underwear fetish? :eek:
I used to do my son’s laundry and find 7 shirts and 7 pairs of pants, but only 3 pairs of underwear. We had to have a couple of talks about changing your underwear every day.
Maybe he’s been wearing more than one pair at a time. It could happen.
I had that discussion with my son regarding his toothbrushing habits. The first indicator that he wasn’t brushing regularly was when I told him not to forget his toothbrush for a sleepover and his response was, “what color is mine again?” :eek:
Oh dear, the title, someone must be trying to give Waverly apoplectic fits.
I would be suspicious of any chocolate that arrives with underpants.
:eek: As would I! Ugh. Never mind. Forget I even said it… 
I now officially declare this thread a success.
And I may have a new sig line …
Step 1: Collect Underwear
Step 2: ?
Step 3: PROFIT!
Are you sure your husband isn’t part Underwear Gnome?
I’m not sure what the tell-tale signs are.
And I misquoted the business plan:
Phase I - Collect Underpants
Phase II - ???
Phase III - Profit!