It occurred to me that my cat, Tibby, an unusually affectionate cat, who I love dearly, would most likely kill and eat me without hesitation, if I were the size of a mouse. Our tiny schnoodle dog probably wouldn’t kill me intentionally, but perhaps do so by accident. I think I could take out our gerbil in an MMA cage match, however—he’s older (species lifespan compensated) and more feeble than me.
In any case, I’m sleeping with one eye open from now on.
Care to share any similar epiphanies?
I walk or otherwise exercise my dogs every day because I am pretty sure they would rip me to shreds if I didn’t.
If I am really sick, I get a doctor’s note for them.
This is why I regard anyone who thinks that Mountain Lions would make cool pets as completely mental. I am fairly certain that my cats are fond of me. If they were sized up, they would “accidentally” cause me severe injury at some point.
One of the Piper cats often sits there, just staring at me.
I think she’s thinking to herself: “I wonder what flavour he is?”
One of my dogs is a “licker”. I have always assumed it meant she really liked me and was showing me affection.
It could be that she is just working on acquiring a taste.
We have a sign in our barn that say says:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED FINGERS TO HORSES.
Although obviously meant as a joke, we’ve had visitors freak out over the thought.
I lived with Tiffany (AKA “Jaws”), the Spawn of Satan Siamese for 17 years.
As a kitten, she would hide until my young daughter would run or walk by, then jump out and bite her hard on the leg.
She had a growl straight from The Exorcist.
It took years to be able to hold her – forcing her in 5-second increments until I could hold her for a few minutes.
She didn’t purr until she was six years old.
Her first vet, after two visits, refused to treat her anymore. He had spayed her and my other cat and told me “Please bring back Fluffy in 10 days and I will remove the stitches. Tiffany has dissolving stitches and we do not want you to bring her back.” Tiffany was so sedated she couldn’t walk for 8 hours after I brought her home.
I once had a knock-down drag-out horrendous fight with her. She wanted to go in my daughter’s room and I was about to clean it and did NOT want her in there. I had to get a broom and even then I thought I was going to lose a leg at one point.
Around age 10 she mellowed out and was a fairly normal cat for the rest of her life. BUT I KEPT MY GUARD UP JUST IN CASE…
I’m pretty sure my dog has designs on my position in the household. He’s wily and a huge suck up, and I suspect my husband is starting to like him more than me.
Suddenly I wake every morning and instead of between our feet, where he fell to sleep, the bugger has actually wormed into my space and is actively attempting to push me out the bed!
I’m considering switching him off the expensive, high nutrient food, in an attempt to gain the upper hand!
Hell, now I need to worry about that, too!
Probably. But you can take comfort in the fact that if you were to suddenly drop dead, they wouldn’t eat you. Not right away, at least. Usually.
:eek: Being turned into a hamster’s nest is a new one. Or vomited out of a German Shepherd :shudder:
It seems as though my cat is constantly struggling between wanting to be petted and wanting to bite me. It’s the funniest thing, he will be purring like a motor, eyes closed and bam! He suddently just whips around and tries to bite me. Make up your mind!
People need to be even more vigilant in the upcoming tanning season. Don’t fall asleep and get burned so you peel-
Cats and dogs will eagerly ingest the sloughed-off flakes of epidermis, developing a strong craving for … human. Then, one calm night, while you sleep…
…yes…yes?, they will what? Please tell me, because I’m currently falling asleep, sloughing epidermis from a recent sunburn and my pets are inching toward me. They’re just planning to snuggle with me, right???