Stat! Code blue!
I don’t excuse bad behavior on anyone’s part. (guess I don’t have a liberal viewpoint, eh?).
some one else’s bad behavior doesn’t excuse your own.
If you’d posted something like “are you blind or what” and the response was, well, yes, frankly I am, wouldn’t you feel somewhat chagrined? So, I would hope that when you accidently methaphorically step on some one’s toes, even if you didn’t like the person, didn’t agree w/him, he’d just insulted you etc, you’d have the grace to say ‘oops’.
If the subject is my conduct in this thread, why drag my mother into it? I guess on Planet Elvis, that kind of behavior is considered “honorable.”
Everytime I try to get out, they pull me back in!
What have I done to be excused for, beside the high crime of disagreeing with The person who is unworthy to use the name of The King?
In the code of decent people, you can trash a man’s dog, his car,and even his sports team, but you don’t talk about peoples’ mommas, ElvisL!ves! You should apologize, toot motherfuckin’ suite.
Everytime I try to get out, they pull me back in!
What have I done to be excused for, beside the high crime of disagreeing with The person who is unworthy to use the name of The King?
In the code of decent people, you can trash a man’s dog, his car,and even his sports team, but you don’t talk about peoples’ mommas, ElvisL!ves! You should apologize, toot fuckin’ suite.
Wimpy liberal drink. 
Scylla, want a beer? 
Sounds good to me, but just so you know, I don’t like the blue Tequila.
gobear:
I’m not sure about this. The mother joke has a lot of precedence and a lot going for it. Everybody has a mother, which makes it an egalitarian target.
On the one hand, I firmly support the use of the generic mother joke, and its long and noble lineage.
On the other side of the coin, the specific mother joke is always a bad thing.
For example,
if you gobear say to me “You’re no good!” and I respond “That’s not what your Mom says!” I have scored an excellent and acceptable comeback, in the generic sense.
However, if I actually did have sex with your mother or knew or later learned that your mother was a whore, than it would not be acceptable and I would be required by the rules of the schoolyard to “take it back.”
In other words, it’s funny generically, but not specifically.
What elvis did was a clear violation of schoolyard etiquette. He made the generic mother reference, which was perfectly acceptable.
However, when he learned it had specific reference he didn’t take it back, but instead reiterated it.
This clear breach of etiquette makes him a scumsucking bastard in the eyes of all, regardless of political affiliation.
More importantly it’s also a stupid move, as it forfeits his maternal insult protection under the specifity clause makes his mother a target for all comers.
(although it’s my understanding she’s been that way for quite some time.)
I’ve heard that about conservatives.
But soft! How can we adequately praise Conservatism without considering its glorious heritage, how it defended the Golden Age of rugged self-reliance against the insidious depredations of the anarchists, socialists, and radicals! We are remiss if we overlook how they stood as a bulwark against such degeneration!
Ah, the Golden Age indeed! When government was held in check, and the true natural leaders of the Republic were free and unfettered, gloriously at liberty to shovel scores of workingmen into the wine-press of labor, and squeeze the last drop of blood to grace the tables of the deserving rich.
Who can forget the halcyon days? When happy children worked in the textile plants, their nimble fingers dancing amongst the spools, 10, 12 hours a day of useful and morally instructive toil, their simple minds uncluttered by needless “education”, undistracted by sunshine or fresh air. And if a finger went astray, well, what of it? They were children, they were not to be punished, they merely had their pay docked to compensate the kindly owner for the loss of his product, carelessly ruined by immature blood.
“We want one class of persons to have a liberal education, and we want another class of persons, a very much larger class…to forgo the privelege of a liberal education and fit themselves to perform specific difficult manual tasks”
Woodrow Wilson as quoted by Lewis Lapham in Harpers July 1991
And the proudly self-relaint coal miner, who rented the tools thoughtfully provided by his master, and toiled in darkness manifest, as the dust from the mines caressed his lungs, assuring him that he need not worry himself as to old age: he would have none of that.
And when his days of usefulness were done, he could be counted on to shamble away to die, his aged eyes gazing upon his children and grandchildren, trodding the same path into the Earth he would soon merge with. He might well have been content (who would not?) were he not beleaguered by radicals and socialists, with their wretched mutterings about 8-hour days and “pensions”!
What foolishness! What good is a pension to a man who will cough his breath out before he is fifty! But this is the kind of fuzzy-thinking, impractical and naïve, that the Left sought to foist off on the innocent worker!
Thank Heavens, the Conservatives responded briskly, in a exemplary display of Social Darwinism, with the Pinkerton, the scab, the shotgun and the rope!
Glory days, glory days!
And our Little Brown Brothers in faraway lands, (and some not so faraway), how did the munificence of Conservatives come unto him? Was he shut out from this largess, because he lived too far from the kindly grasp of the Morgans, the Rockefellers, et. al.? No, he was included in the happy circle as well!
*“I served in all commissioned ranks from Second Lieutenant to Major-General. And during that period, I spent most of my time being a high class muscle- man for Big Business, for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism….
‘I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefits of Wall Street. The record of racketeering is long. I helped purify Nicaragua for the international banking house of Brown Brothers in 1909-1912 (where have I heard that name before?). I brought light to the Dominican Republic for American sugar interests in 1916. In China I helped to see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested.
“During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.”*
Marine Corps General Smedly Butler, 1931
*“They begged for mercy, and we gave it to them…with the long spoon [bayonet]”
*
US Marine quoted by Mark Twain, “In Defense of General Funston”, 1900, regarding the Moro tribal uprising in the Phillipines.
When the Guatemalans foolishly resisted the generosity of the United Fruit Company, conservatives rushed to shield them from their ungrateful folly, and called on the US Marines to protect the sacred rights of private property from the short-sighted campesinos, and their blind insistence on indolent farming above the stern virtue of paid labor.
Another glorious moment, one to be repeated again and again as we protected them from the insidious corruption entailed in the phrase “human rights”. Is not, after all, property a matter of right? And does it not have first place?
And when people of lesser pigment in America were provoked and agitated by radicals and bleeding-hearts, did not the conservatives rush to protect state’s rights, to protect the honeysuckle traditions of the Old South from the bullying and nagging of the misguided liberals?
Did not the champion of the priveleged and uptrodden, J. Edgar Hoover, go forth and do battle against the cunning stealth of “Dr.” King! Do not Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helm grace our nations capital with their wisdom and probity to this very day!
Take heart, conservatives! Your record of obstruction lives on, and will continue to shine in our nations history, preserved in the memory of those who Know Their Place. Be secure in your knowledge that God, in His wisdom, has placed wealth and power in precisely the hands most suited to its enjoyment, and he looks down sternly on those who would disrupt what he hath decreed.
“Forgive us for turning our churches into private clubs, for loving familiar hymns and religious feelings more than we love You; for pasting stained glass on our eyes and our ears to shut out the cry of the hungry and the hurt of the world”
United Presbyterian Church, Litany for Holy Communion, 1968
*Note: if anyone has failed to grasp, the previous is larded with great gobs of sarcasm, as one must laugh if not to scream. I make no defense of “liberals”, they are necessary but tepid. It is the radicals who have made the changes that we enjoy today, and they paid with their sweat, their blood, and their very lives.
As to conservatives: they dread the future and so dare not go forward. As progress is change, they will not lend a hand.
They won’t lead, won’t follow, and won’t get out of the way.
To hell with them!
“In loyalty to their kind
The cannot tolerate our minds
In loyalty to our kind
We cannot tolerate their obstruction!”
Jefferson Airplane, 1969
As much as I hate it, I have to applaud Elucidator’s deft use of language. That was a bravura exercise in wit, sarcasm, and the appropriate use of rhetoric. Well-done!
I will not contaminate this congratulatory post with my opinion of the content, but the form is excellent.
Damn! Elucidator. That was your best ever. I mean that sincerely. Quite good. I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you.
So did we really make the kids pay for the cloth when they caught their little fingers in the machine?
That was quite clever of us conservatives, wasn’t it?
After reading that, I’m filled with great pride over what badasses we Conservatives can be. The fact is, that you’re right. We’ve been showing far too much mercy. It’s time to get back to our roots, and rape the land, molest the women, suffer the children, and bayonet some radicals!
Whose with me?
p.s. You really should save that post. It’s too good to waste in this thread. It should be its own OP where it can be appreciated.
I guess I can expect a retraction from Tiny Elvis that I in any way “slurred” elucidator. See, he’s positively proud of it!
Elucidator, bravo!
Your late entry to this thread is magnificent and inspiring, you are certainly the M1 Abrams of our demolition derby.
Dammit! All this time I’ve been bayonetting the land, suffering the women and raping the radicals.
No wonder my stock portfolio has gone to hell.
That also explains those curious lesions…
And those curious lesions explain this:
http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20020803/capt.1028396434.bush_jsa101.jpg
: ducks and runs :
I guess the syphilis explains his international energy policy.
I’ll help you out, Ace. Back in the aforelinked thread on Page 3, ElvisL1ves accused me of having “my knee jerking at blinding speed.” Several posters, from across the ideological spectrum, pointed out to him that it wasn’t true. He then slunk away like pond scum, without any sort of apology, retraction or even acknowledgment.
Well, that’s fine. Note his integrity, and move on.
Until he comes into this thread, acting so above-it-all about pld’s alleged wounds on his sterling character and lack of a sufficient retraction.
Then he’s just a hypocritical asshole.