I'm looking for suicidal, drug taking, oral sex giving teens who need money

Is this really a useful practice or just cynical “grant-harvesting” gamesmanship?
Mrs. Ridge promotes survey on sex, drugs

What a coincidence! Me too!

Dammit, I wish I was still a teen. I could use the money.

Suicidal and drug taking is optional. OTOH, drug providing is a nice plus.

Boy does this make the homeland seem more secure! :stuck_out_tongue:

It continually amazes me that Schlafly is still around, since she was a right-wing loony activist 40 years ago. But look at that accumulated horse sense: as long as we know there’s a drug problem, that’s all we need to know about it, she says. What percentage of kids take drugs, whether the numbers are going up or down over a given period of time, which drugs they use, and all that - totally useless information. I’m sure that stance holds for gathering info about teen sex, too.

Mom? Is that you?

See, the problem is, I don’t think they’re just giving people money if they’re suicidal, drug taking, oral sex giving (or, I assume, receiving) teens. The money goes to various programs to help them out, one way or another, which isn’t going to draw nearly enough of a representative sample of the suicidal, drug taking, oral sex giving (or, I assume, receiving) teens. I mean, it’s not like they’re saying, “We’ll buy you a Tivo if you take this survey.” So calm down, vibrotronica and BlackKnight. It’s gotta go through channels.

Hey! My money doesn’t have to go through channels at all! Send your suicidal, drug taking, oral sex giving teens who need money to me! Trust me, within a year, they’ll no longer be suicidal, drug taking, oral sex giving teens who need money, they’ll be pissed off and looking for something else! (If you doubt me, just ask my ex-girlfriends!)