I once had a website that sold hot sauces based on the Scofield scale. There were some insane numbers listed, and I don’t know if the Scofield is really legit. But I’m looking for the hottest, most ass-burning, make you cry for mama sauce available.
Illegal in most states for health reasons preferred. I want the hottest thing available. I want something that will make you punch yourself in the testicles for not being a pussy and just eating a blowtorch.
This isn’t for a prank or anything. I have been given the challenge by the BIL to find something even his iron colon can’t handle. It’s a bit IMHO with a side of Cafe Society, but for this thread I’m looking for sites selling products that make extreme eaters cry like little girls.
I think you want one of the ones in the link below. It doesn’t really matter which because they aren’t really edible to any normal person in any quantity. I don’t think he has any idea how hot these things go. I keep a bottle of Mad Dog Inferno in the fridge to give to people like that. It is at the far end of the edible spectrum but a few drops will turn anyone bright red and send them into pain for an hour or so.
I once bought this stuff called Endorphin Rush at Happy Harry’s in Grand Forks. That was the hottest shit I’ve ever found. It bordered on inedible. A tiny knife point of the stuff is enough to make a pot of chili blazing hot. A teaspoon makes it too hot to eat.
Well, that explains why Googling only taught me jazz guitar tecniques. :smack:
Diogenes, as always, when politics are left out of the discussion you prove to really know everything about everything. I’ll head over there after work tomorrow and pick up a bottle for a base line standard. Thanks for the tip!
Looks like the winner is on this page, “Blair’s 16 Million Reserve” claims to be simply a vial of pure capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers hot. If that’s true, then that’s as hot as you’re gonna get.
Probably the hottest I’ve tried on that page was “The Great White Shark Predator”, which apparently has 175,000 SU. That was too hot to be worth anything (I like taste in my sauces), I cannot imagine 16 million SU. I’d probably get diarrhea just smelling it.
Does it have to be a prepared commercial sauce? I take one large habañero pepper, one clove garlic, one serrano, and one jalapeño, chop them all fine, and combine that with chicken, broth or whatever to make a sauce for pasta. I love it, but haven’t been able to put it in front of any friends unless I cut the quantity of peppers back by 2/3 at least.
The same basic mixture works well for Tex-Mex chili (with beef and tomato).
The ultimate seems to be the pharmaceutical grade vial of pure capsaicin crystals, which that site claims are at 16,000,000 Scoville units, and “chemically impossible to get any hotter!”
A second vote for Dave’s Insanity. I tried a toothpick full one time and it still hurts. That was fifteen years ago.
One that’s just a notch below that is a little number called Jamaican Hellfire.
I don’t know if the Religious Experience company is still active, but they used to make a salsa called The Wrath. I would bet any hot sauce they might have manufactured would be up to your standards as well.
Hey, I just Googled “religious experience wrath salsa” and found a site listing it that also has this page, where you’ll not only find Dave’s Insanity, but a variety of others with names like:
[ul]
[li]Holy Shit Habanero[/li][li]Crazy Mother Pucker’s[/li][li]Endorphin Rush[/li][li]Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally[/li][li]Possible Side Effects[/li][li]Pain is Good[/li][li]Ass Blaster[/li][li]Wimp Retardant[/li][li]Tahiti Joe’s Kumawanakilya[/li][li]Ass Reaper[/li][li]Ass in the Tub[/li][li]Ass in Antarctica[/li][li]Hazmat[/li][li]One Fuckin’ Drop At A Time[/li]
And, of course:
A little googling shows that ER is only 33,900 SU as compared to several others that go over 100,000. I guess that shows what a wimp I am but I thought I was pretty hard. I can drink Tabasco out of the bottle but Endorphin Rush was too much for me. I can’t imagine how hot those others must be.
Check at Happy Harry’s anyway. They have a whole rack of those super hot sauces (at least they used to). Maybe you can just ask them what their absolute hottest sauce is.
I read an article listing another chemical as being hotter than capsaicin. I can’t remember what it was called and I wish I had a link. It is chemically similar to capsaicin (I believe both are classified as capsaicoids or something like that) and, if I recall correctly, rates at around 30,000,000 Scoville units.
My wife’s uncle thinks it is one of the greatest stunts ever to see me literally drink Tabasco as do some of his freinds. He has made bets with people and won money when I drank shot glasses of it. They go on and on about it.
I grew up in nothern Louisiana and I believe you did (partially?) as well where that type of spicy tolerance is common.
However, some of the stuff that is out there is just insane. You said that yours was only 33,900 units. The Mad Dog Inferno sauce is 150,000 units and I bought it in the grocery store after someone clued me in that it was there with the rest of the sauces. It must be a mistake because it is just way too hot for anyone. You are talking serious pain that lasts at least an hour after one drop and there is no way out after it is done. I gave it to my father and brother on a cracker just to shut them up about heat tolerance once. It certainly did.
My advise to the OP is that there are many, many hot sauces that will hurt your BIL. Anything over 100,000 units should be a killer. The pain will be intense and long lasting. We are talking about things that are dozens to hundreds of times more hot than your everyday “hot” things.
Anything on the chez-williams page is liable to do. I once, on a dare, dotted the very tip of a tooothpick into the “Gold Cap” sauce (listed at 1,000,000 units, or 1/16 of the hottest they have), and then touched it to my tongue.
It was literally 45 minutes before I could speak intelligibly again. My tongue swelled up, my eyes watered so I couldn’t see, sweat poured out the crown of my head, and my mouth was so flooded with saliva that I was sincerely afraid I would choke on it.
I’m a guy who likes some seriously hot food, but that was WAY beyond anything I could conceivably find pleasurable.
I don’t think that’s the chemical I was talking about, but it certainly proves that capsaicin isn’t at the top of the list. I’ll stay far away from that stuff.