It’s not even about “fucking nuts” or “not fucking nuts,” that’s the worst way to try to communicate concern to a family member. Oh, you did something I did not expect, your medication must not be working. It’s dehumanizing, it suggests that there is no reasonable explanation for the behavior when there so often is and they just don’t want to face their part in bringing it about.
My parents sent me a lovely e-mail at one point telling me that the stimulants I was taking (in low doses, under medical supervision, at the recommendation of three doctors) were causing psychosis and THAT’S why I was mad at them. Couldn’t be anything they did, must be reefer madness! We didn’t talk for… oh, about a year after that. The greatest part is, they went through the exact same thing with each other, when my father started medication. The surest way to send him from ordinary surliness into sheer blinding rage was to ask, “Did you miss a dose today?”
KGS, next time someone asks you if your meds are still working, you can always riposte “Why would you ask me that? Are you on the rag or something?” If they can’t figure out that blaming every disagreement on biology is insulting, their opinion isn’t worth considering.
But still. Make sure your doctor thinks you’re OK, too.
I found sleep meds (benzodiazepines, in my case) to be moderately effective at relieving the horrible insomnia caused by taking benzodiazepines for a while and then stopping.
I think that class of drugs is really insidious—it took me months to return to something like a normal sleeping rhythm. And I also had some “what the HELL was I doing last night?” moments, surveying the kitchen and living room the following morning.
KGS. Seriously, I don’t know you from Adam, but your posts in this thread alone tell me you are not perceiving the outside world correctly. Unless you get some help, or accept the help that’s offered, you’re going to crash and burn very badly.
And how do you know this? Are you telepathic or something? What help am I being offered, exactly?
Last time I took Ambien was during a clinical study for some antipsychotic medication (I was there only for the money – payed well, too) so I wasn’t smoking weed for six weeks. I told the nurse about my strange reactions to Ambien, she gave it to me anyway, and one hour later I was banging on people’s doors at 3 a.m. (this was an in-hospital study) begging them to play chess with me. So my reaction had nothing to do with drug interaction.
It’s crystal clear from your posts that you are not perceiving the world as others around you do. The number of conspiracies ranged against you, alone, is evidence of that. Most people average zero conspiracies against them. I count at least two (family, the field of psychiatry) and possibly three (doctors in general), leaving aside the individuals who are out to get you for reasons of their own. The disinterested individuals in this thread seem to divide into:
People who express sympathy for you (and your family, though that seems to anger you)
People with experience taking prescription drugs such as the ones you mention
People who think you are mentally ill (“crazy” and “nuts” aren’t really helpful).
Note that these categories aren’t mutually exclusive.
**Rubystreak **Heh, pot makes it tough for me to sleep. Though ironically it can make it easier for me to go on less sleep. I was up in the mountains over the 4th of July and people were giving me all the pot and hash I could possibly want the whole week I was up there, I was sleeping like maybe 5 hours a night and hiking half a dozen miles on a light day oftentimes carrying a heavy pack or managing a cart full of supplies up and down rocky paths. I like to work out when I am stoned too. For some reason pot is a stimulant for me.
Naturally, I see the world in a different manner than the average individual. But I consider myself “eccentric”, not “crazy”. What makes me different from other “crazy” people is that I’ve always had control over myself, and I’ve never been afraid of myself or the demons in my mind. Frankly, I enjoy these so-called “psychotic” episodes, they take me out of my boring, mundane world into a place where I’m a wanted fugitive being stalked by every government agency and spiritual agencies as well, or creating a rift in the space/time continuum where the fate of the very universe really does hinge on my actions. Yet at the same time, I’m aware that this might not be really happening, so I’m careful not to cross any significant boundary (such as running naked through a kid’s playground, or giving away all my money, etc.) – and if it’s really only fiction, then hey, at least I’ve got an outline for a new novel I might write down and sell someday.
Probably best if we don’t discuss my family anymore – the whole dynamic of my family is transferring all of their psychopathic, anti-social issues onto one innocent, non-crazy person (i.e. myself) and that’s the type of poisonous negative energy that infects people’s minds, even those I’ve barely met. Just look at how judgmental some of these responses have been, by people who ASSUME they know the full story – they don’t, and they’re making a judgment call based on limited information. And frankly, these kind of self-righteous, judgmental assholes probably would think the same way if they did meet my family – because they are just like them, and they are probably just as abusive to their own children as my parents were to me…maybe they don’t molest their children, or deliberately hurt them by giving them gifts and then demanding it back, or spreading false rumors about their children…but maybe, perhaps, they do. And I’d actually pity them, if I could bring myself to giving a fuck whether they live or die or get hit by a car tomorrow or not.
Wait a second-- are you saying that the people in this thread who have said negative things about you probably molest or abuse their children? Please tell me this is a joke. You were trying to say you were sane, weren’t you?
“True!—nervous—very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses—not destroyed—not dulled them . . .And have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over acuteness of the senses? . . . If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body . . .”
Maybe if that guy had just smoked some more pot, he’d have fallen asleep instead of hearkening to the death watches in the wall, or getting up in the middle of the night to peak into the old man’s room, though I doubt it would have don’t shit for his paranoia about the old man’s eye.
That’s my point…Edgar Allen Poe was nucking futs, just like many famous authors. Does that mean we should discredit all of Poe’s work??? Hell, as a creative writer, being “crazy” (or “eccentric”, my preferred term) is actually a bonus, not a handicap! Like I said, for the last few weeks I’ve felt like the central character in a spy thriller novel, a case of mistaken identity against a person with genuine psychic powers who’s also being attacked by spiritual forces, and the fate of space/time itself may hang in the balance…but eventually, finally, I figured out it was all in my head. On the bright side, I now have a perfectly complete outline for a fictional spy thriller novel. So, you see? Psychosis can be profitable, potentially.
And no, I’m not suggesting that every person who’s put me down in this thread is a child molester. Except for Dripping – he’s clearly a child molester. His aura totally gives away his pedophile nature, and my remote viewing on his computer showed that…ugh. Trust me…he’s sick. What was up with the puppy dogs and the little girl??? Seek help, dude!!
Edgar Allan Poe led a short, miserable life. He spent much of it in poverty. Also, I highly doubt he believed that his stories were real, nor that he was a character in them. So please, don’t compare yourself to Mr. Poe. You can’t even spell his name correctly.
Are you trying to be funny? For a creative writer, you’re not much good at comedy.
I don’t think I like where this conversations is going. I’m just here to say that I’m frequently surfing the dope at 3am, and I’d almost certainly agree to a game of chess on Yahoo if you PM me.
Those babies WILL put you to sleep. And also make you forget the last month or so you’ve been taking them. They can also be very addictive, which is something I’m worried about. I’m on a lose dose with my “-pam” but the withdrawal symptoms will no doubt get to me when it’s time to wean myself off.
You’re posting on a public message board. Everyone gets to read it. You’re making a joke about someone being a child molester, so yeah, I get to comment on it. PM him your little joke if you’re too embarrassed to have everyone see comments like that.
Also, I don’t think you know what the word “codependent” means, if you think me slagging off on your shitty joke qualifies.
