…and some girls are just assholes.
I’m sorry. This was obviously a very difficult trauma for you, and when I read your follow-up, I confess that a single crystal tear rolled down my cheek and traced a track of sorrow through my Laura Mercier.
But I have faith that with a little help from Jesus, you will emerge from this crucible of pain stronger than ever! Remember, high above the clouds, the sun is always shining!
:):):):):):):):):):)
Thank you, it means a lot to me after all these years.
Let me introduce you to Dr. Tolian Soran…
Well-played. Seriously, though, reconsider your initial thoughts. You may not understand how the female mind works in this sort of situation. I’ve talked to innumerable women who are victims and/or survivors of aggressive men, stalkers, gropers, date rapes, and even gang-rapes. The reaction of the girls you recounted did not surprise me in the least.
I liked him better in A Clockwork Orange.
If you are going to be pissed because you helped the undeserving, best not to put on the white hat to begin with. Not a religious type person, so I don’t know if there is Anyone qualified to make such judgments. Just pretty sure it ain’t me.
Its not just our eyes, cars get cataracts as well. For a while, I was having trouble driving in the dark, so I went to get my eyes checked. All was good. I complained to the guys about it and one of them looked at my 10 year old headlights. They were all clouded and beat up, so I got some polish and suddenly I could see at night again.
They got old noses
And yellow old teeth
They wear orthopedic shoes
On their nasty old feet
Huh. I guess I’ll get my 12 year old car’s headlights checked. I only have problems seeing in darker circumstances when I’m driving. Thanks.
I didn’t see the part of his story where he delivered them a pizza.
I was at the grocery store last week and this old guy was checking out not a huge amount of groceries. Maybe 3-4 bags worth. He left his wallet in his car, so the cashier waited for him to go out and get it! I was directly behind him, so it would have been very inconvenient to take all my shit off of the grocery treadmill and find another lane, but I was livid! It didn’t help that when he came back, he had to use three credit cards until one of them finally worked. Probably because (as indicated by the giant activation stickers still on all of the cards) he hadn’t activated them.
But honestly, my frustration was more about the cashier holding up a line for that long while some guy goes out to the fucking parking lot to get his wallet! This is what I think MeanOldLady is struggling with and digs is encouraging. Call old people on their bullshit! Anybody else would have got a suspended transaction and an invitation to bring their cart back through the checkout with their payment. Coddling only encourages that bullshit and it really should stop. I can understand being a bit more patient with old people but when it gets to the point of absurdity it needs to stop.
I also have to comment on the following:
I’ve seen and heard men being called bitches before, but not like this. This was artistic. It was subtle, yet extraordinary. I haven’t seen it done before, so assuming it was original: Bravo, MsWhatsit
When I was 14 I wanted to see whether or not I could ride the escal lying down from start to finish. Mall guards kept bugging me each time. But Al Pacino managed it in “Carlito’s Way.”
When I last worked at a grocery store there was no better way to get yourself fired than to void someone’s 4 bag’s worth order while they went to go get their wallet from the car, ESPECIALLY old people because old people have no life and love to complain the most.
Ha. I missed it before.
I can hear them now
the heartless bitches!
“He’s cute
but his nose
is old.”
Richard Brautigan
Sorry, not even sure it is relevant but I just love this and had to share.
Maybe the old guy was about to pass out Benjamins and you screwed it up.
I’ve been an enabler of old people horseshit at my workplace, but it stops now.
You wouldn’t believe the number of ancient codgers who wind up in the hospital, inching slowly along the corridors or being transported in wheelchairs or wheeled beds from place to place, blocking my path and slowing me down. Just because they’re “patients”, they think they’re privileged or something.
Next time one of them blocks me, I’m crashing right on through. 
Maybe they weren’t particularly uncomfortable to begin with?
Tangentially the idea that we can have stories that start with “when I was a young guy” and end with “they went back to texting” makes me feel very old.
I dunno, bro. Like, if you hit them from behind, and you got enough weight and momentum, yeah, they’ll go faster forward, sure, but only for a little while. Like I got this old guy and I’m going maybe 25, and once he stopped rolling he didn’t move much at all. And talk about getting all up in my grille…