I'm not going to let old people get away with their horse shit anymore.

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m serious about this. Pretty much every single old person in the world gets a free pass on all kinds of incredible bullshit that I’d never put up with from someone my age. Or under the age of 65 for that matter. They drive slow, they don’t walk up escalators, they don’t get how The Google works. Whatever. Honestly, I don’t even get annoyed when the person is a senior citizen. I don’t know if it’s because both of my parents are old enough to be my grandparents, or because I’ve been programmed to feel compassion for people whose age doesn’t allow them to move as quickly as I do, but old people have been working this “Oh, but I’m old so whatever I do is okay” card a little too hard lately, and it’s pissing me off.

Exhibit A.

Old man at the bus stop says hi to me. I’m usually irritated by people who talk to me at bus stops, but he was short and old, so I think it’s cute. I’m not sure what his height has to do with anything, but whatever. Anyway, well “cute” old man quickly turns creepy as he compares me to some celebrity who I look nothing like, while making gestures toward his chest and saying “But with a nicer figure.” Wait, WHAT? WTF? Why is saying that okay? Could a 25 year old guy say this without getting kicked in the balls? Then he starts telling me his theories about the world, tells me I’m pretty, asks if I’m single (!!!), and this shit just goes on and on. And then I realize the only reason I’m putting up with this mountain of crap is because this guy is about to die in three weeks. So I get on the bus, move promptly to the back, assuming he will sit in the old guy seats, but then he follows me and it won’t let up. Jesus Fuck, what is this crap? I end up exiting early and just walking the rest of the way home to get away from him.

Exhibit B.

So I’m at the store and get in line behind a tiny little old lady who is paying for her item via coin purse (REALLY?!), and I let it go because whatever. I just don’t have it in me to be irritated by old people acting like old people. So she’s paying with some mixture of dollar bills and change from her fucking COIN PURSE and ends up being a dollar short. Oh god, just… just kill me now. She starts whining to the cashier “Oh no, I’m a dollar short,” repeatedly, as if complaining about being a dollar short is going to change anything. This goes on and on and fucking on, before I just give the woman a fucking dollar. She thanks me, tells me I’m nice, bla bla. No, I’m not nice. I am paying you a dollar to go away. This is my service fee to get you to shut the fuck up and just leave. I just wish you were gone, okay? I think my plan backfired, though, because instead of just saying “Thanks so much!” and getting out, she proceeds to “bless” me, and tell me how sweet and pretty I am. The whole time I’m thinking, “Yes, yes, yes, I’m very nice. Now wrap it up.” And the only reason I didn’t exclaim, “Can you just leave already?” is because she was old.

I can’t do this anymore. Old people: You’re on notice. I’m tired of your bullshit, and next time you pull a load of crap on me, I’m going to treat you like you’re 35 and call you an asshole.
You wanna know the worst part about this OP? Is that I’m kind of a little bit serious.

I was gonna put this in MPSIMS, but placed it here so y’all can call me names.

2

I propose a name change: Mean2OldLadies

3

Really?

4

Not mean to them yet, but they’re pushing me. I’ll still give passes for not moving at a zillion miles per hour the way I do or not understanding the internets (hell, I didn’t know what quora was until last week), but dirty old men don’t get to be creep shows anymore, and little old ladies don’t get to try to guilt the cashier at Family Fucking Dollar, a chain store with rules up the wazoo, into letting her slide without enough money to pay for her fucking product. Lady, find a dollar, or buy something else. I just want to get my paper towels and go home. Honestly, no one would put up with this kind of crap from anyone else.

Of course, tomorrow I’ll be less cranky and will be handing out free passes again, but for now, I am very goddamn serious about this.

Edit: Yes, really. I mean, if you ignore this rant, then really.

5

Creeps and users don’t change just because they get old, people don’t turn into creeps and users just because they get old.

These people were doing the same things at 30 yrs that they’re doing at 70yrs.

When you’re 70 you’ll still be cantankerous.

6

Someone’s cranky she got her first AARP invitation in the mail!

I’m okay with the lady paying with a coin purse. Hey, old habits die hard. The other guy sounds like a creep. But, hey, at least they both thought you were pretty.

7

But what if they saved some orphans from a burning bus 30 years ago? Just in case they did that, you should let them get away with their bullshit.

8

Heh. I’ve still got a ways.

But are you okay with her trying to cajole the cashier into being okay with her not having enough money?

Does not count. There are two groups of people who will always find you pretty: Old people and dudes trying to bone you.

9

You could of tactfully shut the old guy down with an “I’m busy with (whatever)” and ignored him…why get angry and end up walking a long distance ??..jeez I’d like to see you handle some of my problems

10

Actually, many old people do turn into creeps- strokes and dementia can affect judgement and mental filtering causing elderly folks to say inappropriate things. Changes in behavior like this is cause for concern.

Sometimes it’s just their personality since forever, many times though, it’s not.

11

She wasn’t trying to cajole the cashier, she was cajoling you, sucker! If you hadn’t coughed up that lousy dollar in a minute she would have gestured toward her chest and said you had a nice figure!

12

Years ago my teenage son came up with 2 ideas that he felt solved some problems.

Every shopping mall to have a moving footway at each entrance, going outward at slighly less than the desired minimum walking speed. If you can’t walk fast enough you simply never get in.

And if that fails, sniper towers, the snipers equipped with megaphones and rubber bullets. “The couple near Target, the woman in beige, pick it up please. This is your final warning.”

Harsh.

But fair.

13

I’m not going to let young people get away with their horse shit anymore.

I’m serious about this. Pretty much every single young person in the world gets a free pass on all kinds of incredible bullshit that I’d never put up with from someone my age. Or over the age of 35 for that matter. They drive too fast, they walk up escalators (wtf?), they only know how The Google works and can’t look up info in a book. Whatever. Honestly, I don’t even get annoyed when the person is a junior citizen. I don’t know if it’s because kids are so young that they just don’t have life experience , or because I’ve been programmed to feel contempt for people whose age doesn’t allow them to act as I do, but young people have been working this “Oh, but I’m young so whatever I do is okay” card a little too hard lately, and it’s pissing me off.

14

As a rule, I don’t friend people on the internet. But if I was ever tempted to break that rule, the OP would be it.

15

Time. They have it, you don’t.

That is the big inequality.

16

You forgot the part where they say you like like Ke$ha, but with much saggier boobs.

17

Yeah, as a Florida resident I can fully get behind this plan. I have seen too many fucking Olds almost kill people on a daily basis to have much sympathy anymore. Literally pulling across 6 lanes of traffic without looking (or perhaps seeing?) anything in any direction and nearly causing 6 accidents. Give. Up. The. Keys. before you ruin someone’s life who can count the time they have left in years.

18

With that rack, who wouldn’t?

She’s got the figure of a young Carole Lombard.

19

Yeah, but she’ll also still have a great figure!

Only, you know, lower down…

I can’t duck & run fast enough, I’m a dead Doper.

20

See, you can think that and get away with it. Me, I lack self control, so I say it. Then I get abuse in return.

I paid a couple dollars for the dying woman in front of me to get her prescription. She was coughing/retching/dripping, wearing stained pajama pants. I was picking up medication for my gf.

Then, she wanted my address so she could send me the money. I told her three times it wasn’t necessary. I finally told her I was in a hurry and really, really didn’t want her to know where I lived. After she stormed off, the woman behind me in line told me I was mean.