Hmmm…so bribery works, now let’s test the opposite.
Start an “I love Hal Briston” thread, or I kill the entire lot of you!
You can buy love but not or 5 bucks.
Dude, are you sure about this?
I mean, I think the sockpuppet rules probably say members aren’t technically supposed to start a thread with a brand new specially created username, say one with ovine references, but in some cases, it’s understandable that members might think it’s close to required, given the requested thread title.
If you know what I’m saying. And I think most of us do.
Would I still get the $5 if I started the thread but in the Pit? 
This doesn’t count because OpalCat didn’t ask for an “I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEE Opalcat” thread. Spelling counts, bub.
Anyway, done.
Contrary to the popular belief, love, true love, non-conditional love can be purchased. Follow the “puppies for sale” signs.
I don’t mean to compare Opal with puppies. I love you Opal. Give the five bucks to the puppy fund.
I donate regularly to a fund to save wolves… is that good enough?
Do wolves love you? A puppy would.
But maybe wolves would love your meat. I suppose that’s good enough.
Any and every thing you do is good enough.
I think wolves would find me quite tasty.
I bet we all would!