I'm pee-shy.

It is terrifying for me to use a public urinal when someone is using the urinal next to me. The problem is even worse when the person next to me is someone I know. It gets a little better if I use a stall instead or if there’s a lot of noise in the restroom, but for some reason, it’s just gotten so hard to pee next to someone. I can’t explain it.

Anyone else pee-shy? How’d you overcome it?


Well, not exactly pee-shy, but when there are lots of people around, I just like to show off…

No no, seriously, I can’t do it when people are talking around me. I just can’t.
And its worse when there’s a queue behind you and people keep trying to edge sideways to see if you’re done.
This happened a few times, and I had to just walk off and come back later.

You know, its funny, because sometimes I am pee shy, and other times I’m not. But when I am, I’m thinking “Just pee, already!” I don’t exactly feel ‘nervous’ being proximity to other people at the moment, I just can’t always go.

I am, however, terribly poo-shy. Hmm, band name? :wink:

“I’m too poo shy, hush, hush, eye to eye”

Ha ha ha…
I hate that song, but I think you may have improved it for me.


My maths teacher used to call it SBS, or Shy Bladder Syndrome. I did have a case of SBS just last night. But I blame on the fact that there was a bathroom attendant standing no further than a metre from me, who I swear was watching me. :eek:

I used to be pee-shy if I was at someone else’s house. But not in a public restroom. Although, if I was guy and had to use a urinal, I probably wouldn’t be able to.

I used to be too. If I ever feel the shyness creeping in I just stare at the wall and think about having, um,…sex. I don’t get aroused, but it takes my attention off of the others around me who may or may not be waiting for me to finish so they can have their turn.
Works every time. Try to think about a certain woman in your past and a certain position. Then use that same image the next time and the time after that…etc. Soon your body will feel trained to pee when you think that thought. Hopefully you’re in front of a urinal when these thoughts come up.
If sex doesn’t work for you, or you’re a virgin, then think about any topic you feel passionate about, - baseball, football, kicking the dog, whatever works. Once your mind is off of your surroundings you should be able to pee freely.

Stop laughing and try it!


I read a recently published book about this, it was called Overcoming SBS by I.P. Freely. You might want to check it out :smiley:

I’ve had similar problems. I have what medical professionals call a ‘nervous bladder’ and fellow shipmates in the Navy called ‘stage fright.’ Same as your ‘pee shy’ but aggrivated by having to do annual whiz quizzes, plus random spot checks, with a monitor looking over one’s shoulder. The only solution I’d ever found was a brutally simple one: more (hydraulic) pressure. Yes, keep drinking until your bladder is in such pain it doesn’t care about such minutia as who might hear/see/smell you voiding objectionable bodily wastes.

Seriously, in your situation, where you don’t seem to be worried about having to actually function under supervision, I’d just learn to hold it for a less crowded time. Or get used to the privacy of a stall, which is what I usually do. A good book and a stall with an actual door and I can void anytime.

Now, technically, it is possible to train yourself out of having a nervous bladder but it involves trying to piddle in company as much as possible. As I don’t care to live in NYC and use only public restrooms at the Port Authority bus station, I’ve never cared to worry about this myself. Of course, YMMV

I haven’t overcome it - even at home, if someone is waiting for me, it takes me ages - and them shouting at me to hurry up doesn’t help either.
This syndrome first appeared when I went to boarding school, where the toilet in the girls dorm was open to the rest of the bathroom, and you could see your reflection in the mirrors over the washbasins [and so could the people getting washed and watching you]. I started sneaking out after lights out to have the bathroom to myself. It’s been a problem for me ever since …37 years later.

IIANM all the posters who have confessed to being pee shy up till now are male.

I am female and when I was in my late 20s, over ten years ago now, I went through a brief phase of pee shyness. Couldn’t do it if I knew - or suspected - that someone was within earshot. I would never go to the loo with a friend, the way so many girls do, including me in my younger days.

The turning point came when I was sitting in the cubicle in a restaurant WC, knowing that one or two others were waiting outside. I made some joke about having an absurd hang-up when I came out, and one of them told me she was a therapist who had helped several people with this very problem. She told me that there are some people who can’t take long haul flights because they can’t pee in plane toilets!

Soon after this, the problem vanished. I like to think it was because of the discovery that I wasn’t uniquely freakish.

I too suffer from nervous bladder. In unison now…“Hi, Red Stilettos.” If someone is waiting for me, particularly a stranger waiting for the stall, I can’t go.

But, I discovered a trick when I had to give a sample at the doctor’s office. My appointment was early in the morning and, in addition to nervous bladder, I just didn’t have to go. I tried drinking water. I tried running water. I tried willing it to happen. Nothing. Then I figured I might as well use that time to do something, so I started rehearsing a monologue that I was going to do in class later. Bingo! As soon as I took my mind off of it, I peed. :slight_smile:

Having discovered that handy little trick, I kept using that monologue whenever I was in need. Now, 10 years later, it’s become a Pavlovian response. Whenever I start in on the opening lines, I immediately have to pee.

Ah, the beauty of conditioned response…


Apologies to Hillbilly Queen and any other female posters whose gender (as far as it pertains to their screen name) is ambiguous.

Do your multiplication tables. The same brain cell that does the multiplication function also controls your bladder.

There’s a Stephen King short story (I think it was called “The Moving Finger”) wherein the main character suffered from SBS and could only pee by listing the prive numbers in his head. Sometimes he’d get all the way up to, like, 593 before he could get it going.

I kind of had a friend like that at school, IIRC he once told me

“Maths makes me sh*t myself”


Ahh, post #13, meet post #8. Similar results, slightly different method.

I hate bathroom attendants!! Especially ones that don’t look like they don’t want to be there!! :smiley:

Thanks, for your advice so far, guys. I’m going to try the tricks you all suggested. One point of note also: I seem to never have problems peeing in front of girlfriends. Odd, huh?


Have you tried talking to your penis? Seriously, call it by some silly name like todger, and try to persuade it to go wee. In no time at all there will be noone left in the rest room to cause you to be shy.