The blank look I know well. Any sort of language disorder could bring that on. It takes so long to process information it could just be some serious THINKING going on, hindering expression whether it’s verbal or physical.
Seriously, it could just be a language delay but whatever it is, it needs to be addressed by a professional. The thing is, if she has the experience to see this, then she’s either in denial or she sees a different behavior. He could just act this way around other people because of a sensory overload.
As for the co-sleeping, I did it till my son was 3 too. Difference was, we started at 10 mos. due to my son being stubborn and us giving in (it took puberty for him to completely outgrow the desire to sleep with a parent); she started it at birth due to not wanting to be away from her baby. I will say, she’s got some emotional issues and loves being 100% in control of her kid. So…it could be she likes keeping him a baby (when he does hit milestones she says it’s “sad”) so this may be working out great for her.
Wow! I forgot about that part and it’s like the main thing.
God. There should be some biological selflessness requirement for being able to have a baby. (Of course, you need a lot of selfishness too or else it wouldn’t be worth it, but this woman needs help. Anyone else a little creepily reminded of that book/movie Loverboy?)
Come on now, people. I was a little misty-eyed when my youngest reached all of his milestones, but that doesn’t mean I want him to stay a baby forever. And I co-slept with all three of mine from infancy until age 2, and none of them have any sleeping problems.
Caricci, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that it sounds like you and your sister have some underlying issues besides just the whole “in denial about her kid’s potential autism/speech delay” thing. I would step very, very carefully when bringing this up to her. I think you mentioned up-thread that there are other people in her life that she might take the news better from, and that might definitely be the way to go with this.
I have an autistic cousin in his mid-20s who will never be able to live independently. A big part of the reason is probably that his dad was in denial about it for a long, long time, so my cousin got almost no therapy until probably his tween or teen years.
Assuming that there *is *something going on with your nephew, AFAIK there is *nothing *it could be where he wouldn’t be better off starting therapy as soon as possible.
This. It’s amazing how fast my kids are growing up and I’m nostalgic about their milestones but it doesn’t mean that I want my children to remain babies or act younger than they are. They need to grow.
Oh, yes, I totally agree it’s best for someone else to bring it up! And I don’t think her infantalizing behavior is causing his problems. It’s more part of the denial.
Registered at Last, I’m happy to hear about your son’s success!
And the best someone else to do this would be your parents – the grandparents of the kid.
They have a right to be concerned. And sticking their nose in and telling daughters how to raise their children is so common with grandparents that nobody is surprised. And your sister may accept this better coming from her mother (especially if you agree, also).
So are your parents available & able to do this? Discuss it with them, and ask them (as the parents) to take the lead on doing something about this. Maybe you need to have a “family intervention meeting” where you all talk with her and try to get her to see that professional assistance is necessary. Maybe even threaten her with filing a legal complaint with child welfare if she won’t do something. That’s pretty drastic, but it’s done a lot of times with alcoholics who are in denial about their drinking problem, and it usually works to get them some help. This is probably just as important.
My father is slipping into dementia,slowly but surely. My stepmother, after not being able to open her mouth concerning her 13 other grandchildren, has opened her mouth too much with this one. I think my stepbrother and his wife are the right candidates for this.
We did have a nice visit with my sister, her husband and my nephew today. He actually interacted quite well with my husband who pretended to eat leaves for him.
Just so you know, “observations” don’t cut it for hearing screenings. They compensate amazingly well, and even something like shaking your keys behind his back won’t work. They see the movement with peripheral vision, or they feel the vibrations or something. My own pediatrician’s daughter was born deaf, but undiagnosed until 3, because she just compensated so well that no one noticed.
Only a BAERor other medical test can eliminate hearing deficiency as a diagnosis.