My elder son has a language disorder, which is different from a speech disorder. Exactly what language disorder he may have is anybody’s guess, but from the age of 18 months until about 3 1/2 he spoke pretty much nothing but a language of his own devising. *
I usually think it is bullshit to say that anybody knows how somebody else feels. But in this case, I really do know how you feel. It is a terrible feeling. But allow me to add my vote to what your frontal lobes are probably already telling you even though your limbic system is busy screaming omigodomigodomigodhelphelphelp: You didn’t do anything wrong. You are doing everything right. It’s going to be okay.
They will want to check her hearing right off the bat and for good reason – many, many speech delays have to do with hearing problems. This can be a real joy with a toddler and I strongly recommend finding a good pediatric audiologist – we found one at the Scottish Rite near us.
The best ST in my own experience is gotten from people who will set up targets and approach it in a structured way. Part of the reason for this is that this enables you to work on it at home. Part of it is because, even though the targets and so on are artificial and very fluid, they help keep everybody focused on what we are about. The very best in my own experience are speech pathologists, but are not thick on the ground and may not be necessary.
It’s not your fault, you know. It’s going to be fine.
There is fairly structured play based approach which can be used at home called “recasting” which can be very helpful. Here’s a link. A didactic approach is unlikely to be really helpful in dealing with a child of two, so I would be surprised if you encountered that. We had to concentrate on not giving non-verbal cues, because Eldest turned out to be masking his inability to understand language by reading nonverbals. This has served him well, including making him a very good soccer player, lol, but part of what we have had to learn to do is to judiciously remove those kinds of crutches so he could exercise his language muscles as it were.
I have lots of other thoughts, and please feel free to email me if you like, any old time – I have been that alone and frightened and I would do quite a lot to help anybody who feels even a little like I did to feel better. But those are the first ones to come up, knowing nothing else than what is in the OP.
And by the way, it isn’t your fault. It’s going to be fine. Really, honestly.
*Well-meaning persons: don’t bother telling me this is unlikely in the extreme. I know it is. Nevertheless, it was documented by a number of people with many initials after their names, all of whom agreed that this was unlikely in the extreme.