Speech Delay in Toddler, your experiences?

In My Humble Opinion
21

One of my best friends and I both managed to do this to our respective parents. I was my parents’ first child, so they only found out later how worried they could have been; she was the youngest, so her parents got to the point of making an appointment with a speech therapist for evaluation. They got all the way to a couple of weeks before the appointment before they tried to put her to bed one night and got a clear, stubborn, “NO. I’ll do it MYSELF,” out of her, at which point the appointment was canceled. :smiley:

They also thought both of us were late on physical coordination, until they discovered that we’d both been walking, talking, etc. perfectly fine – just not where they could see us. I didn’t do any of the normal standing up and hanging onto furniture toddling at all; one day, when I was about one, I just wanted a toy and nobody was paying any attention to me, so I stood up, walked over, and got it. My friend’s parents were worried about her inability to tie her shoelaces, until they went to a parent night at the kindergarten and saw her award on the board for being first to learn how to tie her own shoes – it turned out that she just figured (and stated, when asked) that if she didn’t tie her own shoes, her parents would do it for her.

It seems to be common in kids who are smarter than the average bear, for what it’s worth. As near as I can tell, we’re not all that impressed at what we can do, so we don’t bother showing off until we’re old enough to understand that other people are impressed by it. Your little Junior Doper might just be more interested in the interior of her own head than in talking right now. It’s good to get her checked, just in case, but be prepared for the therapist to tell you nothing’s wrong and she’s just got nothing to say yet. :wink:

22

Wanted to add couple of anecdotes which illustrate not only how much variation there is, but how parental perceptions can color things also.

When Moon Unit was 2, it was clear she did not have as many words, or as good pronunciation, as Dweezil had had at any comparable age. So, figuring that of course if her autistic brother spoke better than she did at the same age, there must be Something Very Wrong, we had her checked out by the Early Intervention folks. Who pretty much laughed at us :smack:. Moon Unit is now in a Gifted and Talented Center and speaks FAR too well and with too extensive a vocabulary for my taste sometimes :blush:

We have a nephew, nearly 2, who does not speak very well at all. No words that I could understand, the other day. Due to the family history, his mother is (not unreasonably especially given family history) concerned. However, they see a lot of their pediatrician - socially and professionally - and the ped is very aware of the developmental concerns in the family - and the ped is not worried at all.

So - there is a lot of variation among kids who are normal, and chances are the OP’s kid is just fine, but nobody knows your kid better than you do and I heartily encourage you to get things checked out. Either they’ll laugh at you in which case you can feel better, or they’ll find issues, in which case you can pat yourself on the back for taking action and getting it addressed.

23

One of my nieces was about 3 before she really started speaking. Parents were starting to worry. She was an only child (first grandchild, center of the universe). They started to send her to pre-school (she also didn’t have a lot of contact with other little kids) and then her little brother came along and - voilà! - now she’s perfectly expressive. And bossy.

Good on you for seeking out a speech path. It might just take having a different person to interact with to get her started.

Let us know how things progress!

GT

24

My oldest son was (finally) diagnosed at 4 with a severe speech delay, autism, sensory integration disorder, and ADHD. At the time, he had three words. Now 6, he has seven words that he uses verbally, and about a hundred that he signs. But he can read quite a few words, and he can type, and write a little bit, so he communicates to an extent.

He enjoys his speech therapy, because it seems like play to him. He has repeatedly signed to me that he doesn’t want to speak. He’s been telling me this for two years now. Once or twice a year he’ll pick up a new word, but then he drops an old one. He didn’t say “Mom” for more than a year, which broke my heart. Now he says that again, but he dropped “want” and “drink.”

The earlier you can start therapy, the better. I argued with half a dozen doctors and specialists for over a year before one doctor finally said, “Something’s not right. I’ll get him some help.” Early intervention has excellent outcomes, much of the time.

And don’t blame yourself. It’s nothing that you did, or didn’t do. I blamed myself for a while, but my other two kids are relatively normal (typically developing, I mean), and I didn’t do much differently with them than with the oldest. To be honest, I was probably a better mother to my oldest because he was my only child for 3 years, so he had my full attention.

E-mail me if you want to vent or talk or anything. I have more experience with speech delay and therapy than anybody would ever want. I suspect, based on what I’ve seen and experienced, that your daughter will turn the corner and start talking when she feels like it. My oldest step-daughter didn’t talk until she was 3, and then just burst out with full sentences, so one never knows.

25

One of the kids I worked with was almost completely non-verbal: at age three she could say “mama” and an aproximation of the word blue. She also had motor delays, but by the time I met her, her parents had pretty much given up learning what exactly was wrong with her since everything they tested her for proved not to be the problem.

She did speech, and I’ll be honest, she didn’t make much progress verbably over the year I worked with her - in so far as learning new words, that is. She was very reluctant to try to speak because even at age 3 she’d already been to pressured into preforming for adults. (I hated speech day because she was upset each and every week) But she was very quick to learn new signs, and eager to express herself that way. She used a device that said things when you pushed buttons too.

I hope things will be easier for your daughter, but even if it turns out that the worst case senario is realized and she has a physical problem that keeps her from speaking, it doesn’t mean you’ll never know what she has to say, or that she’ll be trapped in silence. From what I’ve read about apraxia in children, most of them do go on to speak eventually, so that’s positive too.

26

I work for HeadStart in California. We accept children beginning 2 years, 9 months to our classroom preschool program. We also have Early HeadStart for younger children. These are free programs. There is a point system for entry where low-income/ disabled/ diagnosed speech delays get served first. Gertting a speech diagnosis and a IEP (Individualized Education Program) will help you aquire services for your child. Getting her services for as long or as briefly as she needs them is the best of parenting.
Cyn, HeadStart RN

27

I would like to add, to the tons of good advice already given, that you should be very, very cautious before you push the panic button because someone evaluated your child and told you she was “behind” in some way. Professionals giving their opinions are working from an “average”, from things like “percentiles”, and don’t always have the time or the inclination to evaluate each child as an individual. Thus, you can have perfectly normal children pegged as “behind” because they don’t conform to some arbitrary textbook standard.

My youngest brother, my mother is fond of telling us, was so quiet when he was born that they were worried he was retarded. He now has a Ph.D in biochemistry.

So the moral here is, don’t be too quick to push the panic button.

28

If antidotal evidence will help you feel any better, my sister’s daughter was slow learning to talk. She would just grunt and point, even at 2 years old. She had speech therapy and is completely normal at 10 years old.

A friend’s son was also late talking, and then had a speech impediment. I had quite a difficult time understanding him when he was 5, but he’s a completely normal teenager now, if such a creature exists.

When I was born, I had 3 siblings ranging from 13 months to 3 1/2 years older and could never get a word in edgewise. I didn’t learn to talk until I was three, and my mom jokes that I’m still making up for it. It didn’t make any difference at all. They didn’t do speech therapy then, but I could very well have talked earlier with it.

29

It is interesting to find out all that is available. And your experiences. It is odd to be a mother that is generally perceived as being a “chatty cathy” to having a child that doesn’t speak. Yeah, the joke is she can’t get a word in edgewise, but when I’m at home, I am a pretty darn quiet person.

I’ve joked that my daughter has been willful since conception and has been on her own schedule, me be damned. She did come a month early. I had a nurse ask me why she was a premie, I told her to ask my daughter, it was her idea, I was sleeping.

IF she didn’t babble as much as she does, heck, she carries on entire monologues (she must be a closet italian, she waves her arms like mad) tells herself jokes and generally is pretty darn chatty, just not many actual words. Her inflection is good, she’s quite variable with her speech patterns and really, it sounds like she’s talking, I’m just not sure which language she’s speaking. It’s her world, we just live in it. (although she mimics our italian greyhound near perfectly)

I’m kind of surprised that they would prescribe daycare. It’s one of the things that we think would be good for her a few hours a week, but just haven’t had the extra cash to pay for. From your post, it sounds like it was paid for by the program. I’m also surprised they would come to your home. That to me is just amazing. In todays world, I’m surprised we don’t have to deliver our trash to the garbage men. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I had to laugh at the “Einstein didn’t talk until he was 3” thing because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that. Or the “she can’t get a word in edgewise” bit. Or as I said to a friend who responded with that one. Screw you, it’s my kid. It isn’t funny.

I’m constantly amazed at what being a mother does to me. Nothing is better than the big grin my daughter gives me when she sits on my chest like it is the best seat in the whole wide world.

Since I can’t yet brag about all the amazing things my kid says. I was pretty amazed the other day, we were sitting in front of the mirror and she was figuring out how she had to move to hand things to me while looking in the mirror. It was pretty surreal.

But the sweetest thing? When she’s a bad girl and gets time out and the time is up, I always give her big hugs, and she’ll pat my back as she’s hugging me. It just kills me.

Her name is Kate, by the way. She’s been the most good natured, pleasant kid since birth. She’s an easy baby, who will be 2 on the 10th of this month and she’s growing up so much. I’m so afraid for her, so in love with her and well…I’m a first time mom. Can’t you tell? She was definitely worth the wait.

If and when she ever does start talking, I can’t wait to hear what she thinks about.

Little Miss Magic: Jimmy Buffett
Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling
The clever little glances she gives me cant help but be appealing
She loves to ride into town with the top down
Feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin
She is my next of kin

Chorus:
I see a little more of me everyday
I catch a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother is the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?

Sometimes I catch her dreamin and wonder where that little mind meanders
Is she strollin along the shore or cruisin oer the broad savannah
I know someday shell learn to make up her own rhymes
Someday shes gonna learn how to fly
Oh that I wont deny

Chorus:
I catch a little more dialogue comin my way
I see those big brown eyes just start to lookin astray
Your mothers still the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?

That was the song I listened to the most when I was pregnant and has always been my hope for my child.

Sorry I’m so chatty. I can’t tell you how much all of your advice has helped sooth me and prepare me for what is ahead. Being a parent definitely isn’t for sissies.

30

I second this. Your state is most likely mandated to get services for your child. If she goes to daycare, they may even pay part of the bill for it, so that she can get therapy there. My son was in the system from 9 months to currently. We’ve had many wonderful and hard-working caseworkers, from Early HeadStart to therapists to clinicians. You sometimes have to fight against apathy and bureaucracy (not the norm, IME), but there’s tons of help out there.

Yeah, it’s scary to think your daughter may be delayed in speech. Let’s remember, though, it is 2007, and with everything out there, there’s almost no chance that she can’t overcome it soon. Good luck!

31

Until he was two, our son was the point and grunt boy. He had no issues with comprehension.
He is now nine and never shut. the. fuck. up. ever.

32

I didn’t speak at all until I was 3, and when I did it was some sort of babble that could only be understood by my brother, a babble I kept up with for a little less than a year.

Oddly enough, the first time I actually spoke English was when I was riding in the car, driving down A1A in Daytona Beach, when I started asking “H-O-T-E-L, what do dat spell? H-O-L-I-D-A-Y, what do dat spell?” My father was so shocked to hear a strange voice in the car that he almost got into a wreck. I was 4.

By the time I was 6, I was reading at a 7th grade level. Don’t know what this had to do with the other, but my “lack of speaking” did not equate a “lack of understanding language”.

My daughter babbled a lot, I too thought that she was “behind”, but I didn’t do a damn thing about it 'cause I realized that she didn’t have a problem understanding us… it didn’t help that Sophie was one to speak in long streams of babble, creating “sentences”. She was not a child who used simple one-word queries for stuff “Milk?” “Wawa?”. No, it was always “Ming-a-mumble-a-beep-a-ming-wawa-mumble-a-ming?”

However, about a year ago we were watching film of her second Christmas (about 15 months old). And, guess what… she was talking! We just didn’t understand that she was!

For example, she had this constant (at the time) high pitched squeal: “uuuhhh IIIIISSSSS iiiihhhh”. So we’re watching her open up her presents and she starts with this squeal - and it hits us: she’s saying “What is it?” over and over again!

However, we weren’t trying to translate at that time… it never even occurred to us that her babble might be just very badly spoken English.

So, as for advice… uh, don’t worry about it. If you think your daughter understands the language, then that’s what’s important. She’ll get around to speaking in her own time.

33

That happened to me so while it is unlikely, I gotcha back! :wink:

Of course, the recommended treatment in 1971 was “Don’t worry about it - he’ll grow out of it.” Which I did.

34

My wife’s cousin didn’t talk until he was almost 4. All the doctors said he was OK but just didn’t want to talk. He would point and grunt. He wouldn’t cooperate with speech therapists and was generally a stubborn PITA.

They went on a trip to Disney World and he had a great time, pointing to the characters, riding the rides and having a blast. They kept trying to get him to say the names or tell what he wanted but nothing worked. On their last day as they were leaving the park, his father said, “OK, Chris, we’re going home. Say goodbye to Disney World.” He looked up at his father and said, “Buy it for me, Daddy.” And he didn’t shut up from the time the walked out the gates, during the drive to the airport, on the plane and then the drive home. He even talked in his sleep for a week after.

35

My oldest son was a very slow starter in the realm of speech. On his second birthday, he could only say eight discernible words, and several of them were hardly discernible to anyone but us. I know this because his mother and I wrote them down for future reference.

We were very concerned about him. His comprehension seemed very good, and we knew his hearing was normal, but not only did he not talk, he didn’t even seem to make much effort towards talking. He indicated his wants by pointing his finger and saying “jish” (this). We unwittingly trained him to do so by continually pointing to things (in the pantry, for example) and asking, “Do you want this?”

At about 2 years 2 months, with no warning, he took off like a rocket. He seemed to be learning 10-15 new words a day, no exaggeration. By age 2 1/2, we marveled that we were ever worried about him. He’s now a confident speaker and excellent reader (crappy speller, though).

By comparison, I have home video of his younger sister saying, clear as a bell, “You open for me, please?” at her second birthday party (awwww). I guess the moral is to keep in mind that kids really do develop at their own pace, and initial slowness is usually no cause for alarm, no more than inital prodigiousness is an indicator that you have a genius on your hands.

Keep us posted, though! :slight_smile:

36

First borns, I would think, have a tendency to be catered too ( imagine that) and never really have to finish a sentance. Parents and grandparents just cater to their needs before they know they have needs.

Second borns are not so pretty pretty shiny shiny to the parents and develop faster in the verbal catagory.
My friends oldest brother never spoke until he was about three and it was discovered then, during a trip to a grocery store, that he could also read ( self taught): Pork Chops $1. Potato’s (whatever the price was)"

He is a phD in something really smart now and probably asberger’s as well.

37

I didn’t speak until way after I was two. It didn’t help that I had a false positive for cretinism as a newborn. My parents were all prepared to raise a child that would be completely dependent for the rest of its life. Oops. Anyways, I would just sit and smile and stare all the time completely quiet. When I did start speaking it was pretty fluent. My dads favorite story about me is when I claimed they kept nuclear warheads in the tool shed at my day care. God knows where I overheard that.

I seemed to have turn out okay (debateable) not a cretin and I don’t have aspergers or adult ADD or restless leg syndrome or whatever people are self diagnosing these days.

38

We are in a similar situation. Our daughter is 22 months and her daycare feels she is behind in her speech. (Her comprehension on the other hand is astonishing!).

However in our area, after the initial assessment, it takes an average of 9 months to start therapy. 9 MONTHS!!!

39

I wonder. Both my kids early talkers, but a lot of our interaction with both was answering questions. One of the first words for both of them was something meaning “What is that?*” and they wore us out asking about the name for
everything.

My mother says that my younger brother didn’t bother talking for quite a while, though, partly because I would fetch him whatever he was grunting for.

  • “Dat?” and “Whaddit?”
40

IIRC, for every word, after the first, a child speaks, he must understand 50 to 100 words. That first word requires a comprehension of about 200 words.

I think most kids comprehend way more than that by the time they actually talk.