OK, I think I may have snapped tonight, I just don’t fucking know.
Tonight, I started remembering parts of some really strange shit. I remember that it was at my old school, a boarding school in Canada. I went through a series of tunnels, and they got smaller and smaller and more complicated. I had to crawl, and it seemed improbable that I would make it, but I always did. I always knew the way, and I went several times. I remember this like I’m sitting here, I mean really. I don’t remember what was at the end of the tunnels, no idea. I remember the trip there, though. Lots of times. I don’t remember how I got back either, just going.
I went to this place a bunch of times, under my school. And there was something at the end, and I don’t know what and I don’t know how I got back and I’m scared as shit right now and giggling uncontrollably and generally I think I have gone right the fuck insane.
If I’m not insane then it’s even scarier, cause I visited something down there, and it told me the way and brought me back, but wouldn’t let me remember what it was. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HEAD? WHY IS THIS SO REAL, WHEN IT CAN’T BE?? I am not high, I haven’t been for over a week, and then it was only pot. Shiiiit.
Anyways, I’m shaking and laughing and being scared and thinking that I’ve lost it, and I’m going to post this and try and sleep. What if what I met down there can call me back? What if i did something dangerous, or met with something, i don’t know. shiiiiit. Right, well goodnight.
Well, I don’t think I’m remembering a hallucination, but I guess it could be… not really though.
When it started I was watching “The Score”. I saw the tunnel and my thoughts went something like:
hey that tunnel reminds me of the time i went down all those tunnels what the fuck oh hey i did go down tunnels and it was like (see OP)
and i didn’t say that it led me back, it brought me back. i kept going though… maybe i still owe it something, or, i don’t know. Shit, I’m going to end up on late-night FOX spewing this stuff and everyone’s gonna know I’m crazy at the same time that i know it’s “true” or whatever the hell it is, cause i didn’t just make this up. either it happened or i’m totally delusional.
That is strange. Keeping in mind I’m no expert, did “it” seem malevolent at all? Or just something that existed and you had some sort of connection to?
I have no memory of “it” at all. I have no real conclusions about “it”, except for the fact that it seems not to have allowed me to remember my time at the end of the tunnels.
come to think of it, i have no idea how much time the trip took, or how much time i spent at The End. There was definitely a place though, there was a place, not just like an end. There was The End. The End was there, and you could go in to it. I don’t know if it was a room or an entire… place. I don’t even know that i met anything there, but then why couldn’t i remember it, or how i got back… well for one thing it could all be in my head, so no logic applies, but you can’t understand how real it feels! Shit!
Lucki Chaarms Please hang in there and do the best you can right now to get past this rough patch. Whatever is happening right now, it will change and it will get better sooner or later–maybe in an hour or a day or a week, but it will pass–I promise you.
The important thing is to remember that however scary it is right now, it will go away and it won’t be long before you are laughing again, hanging with your friends, family, etc.
If you want to, please feel free to e-mail me and I’ll hang with you through this time.
I’ve had times when I haven’t had enough sleep where I became unable to remember what was a dream and what wasn’t.
Unfortunately, even after I had gotten enough sleep there were still a few things that I wasn’t sure happened. Nothing as bizarre as your memory, though. Guess I’ll never know.
Thats how I remember most of the dreams that I do remember. At some point or another during the day I realise “Hey that couldn’t have happened”. Your brain processes everything so there is no reason why a dream can’t feel totally real.
Let the vision affect you. I believe that right now you are reluctant to let the vision pass for some reason, but it definitely must and will pass.
Feel that vision with your mind, body, and soul, for once you do it will pass. If you are not able to totally accept the vision it will continue to burden you until you do so.
My two cents (American, so they are at least worth slightly more ) is that you are remembering a series of dreams. Vivid, yes, but dreams none the less. I have similar dreams except mine take place above ground, in hospitals or out on the street, and happen often enough and are similar enough that I have learned shortcuts and where the dead ends are. You do not remember reaching the end because you did not; in this sort of dream your subconscious was relating in its own language how you were searching for something in your life. When you found it, or made the change in your life, the dreams stopped. However, because they were so vivid and were not obviously dreams, like a dream about sleeping with a movie star would be, you remember them. Since they happened several years ago you remember them about as well as real things that happened to you at that time. This is what gives them the feeling of reality, especially if some of your barriers are lowered by drug use or lack of sleep, thus tomndeb’s questions.
Honest, a good night’s sleep will do you a world of good. And email me if you want to talk more.
well, if you’re mentally unhinged, then i’m a swinging barn door right there with ya.
i get flashes of weird stuff like that all the time; deja vu where i can pinpoint the actual time when the “pre” event happened, but i can’t remember if i actually saw the future in a flash, or if i just have an incredibly boring and repetitive life and the “pre” event happened. or a feeling of premonition, later remembered at just the right moment to initiate one of the above reality shearing deja-vu episodes.
i’ve decided that, at a choice between “precient”, “unstuck in time”, and “totally lost inside my own head” i’ve chosen “lost”. because, when you can get lost inside your own head, you must be a pretty smart person to have such a cavernous mind. it’s comforting.
now, some advice for you;
don’t freak yourself out, just calm and put on music and all the lights in the house. focus, and try to sleep. see where that takes you. it’s always easier to ponder upon disquieting subjects in the calm light of morning, after a good night’s sleep.
I think there is a kind of hysteria that can take hold and exacerbate these kinds of experiences. A couple of months ago, I suffered from frequently recurring, momentary, and vividly immersive memories for about four days. It was almost like a little seizure - for a fraction of a second I would have what seemed to be an extremely vivid memory. After each moment ended, I would remember only that I had had a distinct memory - nothing about the content. After this had happened ten to fifteen times a day for three days, I started to get pretty freaked out and wierd explanations started occuring to me. Finally, I chalked it up to some strange neurological misfiring. Signifcantly or not, that was when I stopped having them.
Yup, I’ve done the weird memory thing. And I’m sane as the next lamp post.
I’ve remembered being abducted by aliens and yes, the anal probe did feature. I put it down to weird neurological random synapses going troppo rather than my good self losing the plot or it being true.
OTOH there is the potential for writing a bestseller in all this
I’d get some sleep, cut right back on ingesting anything weird and don’t drink. Take care.
Calm down. You’re just remembering a vivid dream. It happens to lots of people and often the memories have such stong emotional links that they can trigger intense fear and anxiety.
I had a dream like this about two weeks ago (and I’ve had it before but not often) that is still giving me the willies when I think about it, where I killed someone over something stupid and buried them. In the dream I’m always concerned I’ll be found out but I never am. The anxiety produced during the dream by this guilt is amazing and when I awoke I still remembered a lot of the dream which is unusual and it took me a second or two to switch into reality mode and the sense of relief that it was just a dream was amazing.
Per T&D I also suspect you also need to get some sleep.
yup. i second (third?fifth?)thwe vivid dream thing.
often have memories of places, times, events which HAVE NOT HAPPENED.
totally clear pictures and everything. i have a photographic memory, so i think that makes it even worse, as i remember every tiny detail… of non-existent things.
very freaky.
don’t worry, just accept it as your subconscious being unable to determine whether it is awake or asleep right now.
realise that the thing CANNOT have ocurred, and that it isn’t a sign of anything other than fatigue and stress.
chill out, and get in touch with some reality, lke having a friend over for a nice , normal dinner.
OK, thanks for the support and suggestions everyone.
After about 9 hours of sleep the “memories” are still there, but way less frightening because I can think rationally and realize that they’re just dream memories or something. So thanks.
and Cranky, I’m going directly from here to start yet another exciting thread about my life with the Circus Peanuts.
) is that you are remembering a series of dreams. Vivid, yes, but dreams none the less. I have similar dreams except mine take place above ground, in hospitals or out on the street, and happen often enough and are similar enough that I have learned shortcuts and where the dead ends are. You do not remember reaching the end because you did not; in this sort of dream your subconscious was relating in its own language how you were searching for something in your life. When you found it, or made the change in your life, the dreams stopped. However, because they were so vivid and were not obviously dreams, like a dream about sleeping with a movie star would be, you remember them. Since they happened several years ago you remember them about as well as real things that happened to you at that time. This is what gives them the feeling of reality, especially if some of your barriers are lowered by drug use or lack of sleep, thus tomndeb’s questions.