What I mean is I’m not very good at consistent slog. My talents lie more in brief flashes of inspiration rather than day to day grind.
Although I’m very highly qualified in terms of academic achievement I only got there because I’m good at exams and tests so I am able to shine on the day. But when it comes to holding down a job, that involves being consistently good and hard-working day after day.
I just can’t do this.
I get bored too easily.
Whenever I get a job I feel like Im somehow “cheating” the company because I know that sooner or later I’ll get bored with the whole endeavour and start to slack off.
So I’ve decided the best thing for me to do is to work for free!
Then people can’t expect too much from me, if they aren’t paying me they can’t get annoyed when I don’t do anything (except sit there gazing into the middle distance thinking about something).
So thats my plan anyway.
Only problem is - how do you live if you work for free?
And yet working for free is the only way I can retain my dignity.
I used to feel like this. A few times I actually got stressed because I felt like I was being paid way too much for what I was capable of giving the company.
Like you, the day-to-day slog drives me nuts. But when I am given something to really put my talent to use, I am indispensable to the company. Even in a company where I had gotten several mild warnings on slacking, I was protected when two different groups were dismantled around me.
Companies need the sloggers, but they need the comets as well. Learn what really engages you, where you really shine, and what you can’t hack. Learn that there are just some things that can’t be avoided. Learn ways to appease the upper muckety-mucks while hanging on to your sanity.
Keep in mind: Sufficient unto the day the evil thereof. If you worry about having problems “in the future” it will make handling the present more difficult. Wait till you actually have problems, then worry about it. And talk to people, ask your boss to help you get into areas that you are better at, etc.
But don’t work for free, please. You would just be depriving someone else of a paying job, and devaluing your own skills.
BTW, I don’t think working for free would give you dignity. I think it would reinforce your feelings of worthlessness and being incapable of holding a “paying” job.
Unless he’s proposing to devote all his time to volunteering for all sorts of good causes. That would be somewhat useful, and not deprive anyone of anything.