I'M SICK OF BEING PC (regarding certain individuals) i.e., I am an insensitive bitch.

The BBQ Pit
1

So calling someone “fat” or “obese” as a criticism is a ** VERY BAD THING ** on these boards. Even if the rant/discussion involves a completely different, and often interesting topic the thread will inevitably change into a “My God you insensitive bastard/bitch you just called that person FAT. You are going to hell–go directly to hell–do not past go–do not collect $200.” Sometimes I agree that the use of the term was egregious, sometimes I don’t and wish people could just let it go.

But, this is not to address those posts…those are just my personal opinions and what brought me to today’s bitch session. I usually try to be politically correct, and I don’t make comments about people’s weight. If a person is actually fat, I usually assume there’s probably a good reason for it…thyroid, disability, whacked-out metabolism. I have friends that suffer from these things…not everyone can have the metabolism of a hummingbird…it’s cool. So, it’s not even me attempting to be PC…I generally think it’s silly to make assumptions about people’s weight.

That said, there is an individual in this office who is very obese. When I first met him I thought he was an ass for darn good reasons not involving his appearance. But, he is so large his ripples have ripples…he sweats when he has to walk from one end of the office to the other. He is NOT disabled in any way aside from the weight. He makes comments about other individuals’ weight and fitness level…smug comments. But MY GOD THIS BOY CAN PUT AWAY THE GROCERIES. Fried chicken, fried pies, french fries, burgers, cheesecake…he eats enough for a small army. He is doing this to himself. Which I would ignore, except, we get occasional treats in the office. Someone will bring in a cake or pie or donuts and leave them in the break-room. Inevitably, he takes 3-4 times his fair share leaving the rest of us with nothing. Mind you he makes WAY more money than the rest of us little peons… So, some kind soul brought in the heaven that is Krispy Kreme donuts the other day. There were problably enough for everyone in the office to have 1…maybe. Well this gentleman came in, grabbed a plate and took 3 donuts. He did not share these with anyone…rather he took them into his office and consumed them one by one. Then, he RETURNED for 2 MORE! Several folks went without because of him. (Not me, but my secretary).

So…I got pissed, I know it’s petty, but this job sucks and we all deserve a little happiness in the form of a donut and he brings us a lot of unhappiness. I asked him why he took more than his fair share, “you don’t need that many.” Cruel yes, but deserved. He FLIPPED OUT…“Why are you making comments about my weight…I was hungry…I eat more…what’s the problem.” He asked me if I couldn’t be more sensitive to his weight. He then continued to be whiny about his weight and threatened to tell my boss that I picked on him because of his weight.

Shit, I think that I may have been a bit insensitive, but GROW UP AND STOP TAKING EVERYONE ELSE’S FOOD!!!

GAHHHHH. I quit…there comes a point where you should be able to mention weight without being condemned for it.

I know there was a recent thread regarding this issue, but I think these circumstance are different.

2

So - some one brought in doughnuts, for ‘the office’. DIdn’t bring in the same number as those in the office, you note that a person takes more than one, note that while you also took one, some one else you knew didn’t get any, and you felt it was your duty to go to this person and ream him out 'cause he took more than you thought he should?

Ya know, I"m finally in a position half the day that is a large cubi-hell type of place. people bring in stuff all the time. One woman brought in a pie. There’s 60 people working there. Was I supposed to estimate 1/60th? I didn’t get that memo.

this ain’t about PC IMHO.

3

Yeah…it’s pretty hard to share a pie or cake w/ the 75 people in this office, but if someone brings in 75 donuts and he comes in and takes that many about 5 minutes after they get here it’s a bit ridiculous. It’s his pattern and practice to take too much.

For instance, imagine a pie…his idea of “sharing” is to take 2 slices. 2! When very few people will get even 1. If it had been this one occassion my comment would have been petty, well yeah it was petty anyway, but the secretaries around here don’t get paid shit and it’s nice for them to get something special…I often don’t take any for myself but smuggle some in to my office for someone who didn’t get to the break-room in the first 5 minutes of the office feeding frenzy.

He’s being an ass and doesn’t deserve more than the rest of the offocxe because he is “hungrier”

4

Instead of saying, “You didn’t need that many,” why not say something when he came back, such as “Would you mind waiting for seconds-not everyone got one yet.” IF you couldn’t do that, afterwards say, “You know, not to be rude, but I noticed you took five donuts-some people didn’t have any. The next time, could you please wait and see if anyone else would like one? Because it’s really not fair to everyone else.”
When he goes in the first place-or put a sign up-“Please take only one at a time-and make sure everyone gets some.” And say like, “Hey, wait-sir, there’s only enough for so many people-please take one at a time!”

I don’t think it’s about him being fat. I think it has more to do with him being a selfish jerk.

5

Sure, I could also be PC, and then proceed to tell you why you should not have said anything to this man.

Fuck that.

Sometimes you just gotta call people on their shit, and they usually don’t like it. If the man is being a hog, then he’s being a hog, plain and simple.

FWIW, it really pisses me off when very overweight people start making snide remarks about other people’s weight and looks.

6

and it was your job to point this out to him because? help me out here. In cubi-hell land there’s lots of folks who do things that annoy me, annoy other people. I have yet to find a circumstance that makes it my job to tell some one else ‘gee, everyone here is annoyed at you for…’.

Seriously - if the person bringing them in intended exactly one per person, they could have brought one per person and put up a sign. If the person bringing them in intended ‘for whoever’, then they’d do exactly what you describe.

PEople have brought in doughnuts, sometimes I get there before they’re gone sometimes I don’t. So what. I’m not going to get ticked off at either the person who took ‘more than one’ or the person who brought in less than would feed the entire place.

7

BBJ, being selfish and inconsiderate does not equal being fat. You don’t seem to understand the difference. You equate the two. Why? If a thin person came in and took more than his or her fair share, would it be more OK than a fat person doing it?

Really, his weight is irrelevant. You would likely get offended if someone bitched and moaned about a similar situation but kept referring to the person’s race, or ethnicity, or religion. It’s just not relevant and the very fact that you keep bringing it up implies that you do have a problem with fat people and not so much the selfish behavior.

You said you ‘would ignore’ his eating disorder except for the selfish actions. Yet, you go on extensively about how he ‘puts away the groceries’. These two just don’t mix. Think about what I previously said about race. If you go “This guy is just such a stupid foreigner, Christ! he can’t even speak English, and he smells weird, and he acts like a savage. I wouldn’t care about this, except for…”

8

** Guin ** Yeah, I could have said it better…

But I think he used his weight as an excuse w/ him being “hungrier” than the rest of us. That is bullshit…Pure D. Bullshit. And then he threatened to “tell” on me because I abused his “protected” status.

::Throwing hands in air::

I give up.

Fat is what it is, but he can’t use it as a tool.

Tool!

9

Because you didn’t need to bring it up, and it wouldn’t work! It only backfires!

All you had to say was, “would you mind, next time, leaving a few for someone else?” That’s all. You didn’t even NEED to mention his weight to him! Rant about his weight here all you want, but to point it out to him was useless-you only put him on the defensive!
If you had said, leave some for someone else, and he said he was hungry, you could just have said, “Well, what about the people who didn’t get any? They’re hungry too, and they didn’t even have one! So please think of others first.”
That’s all. He sounds selfish and inconsiderate-but his weight is none of your business.

:rolleyes:

10

I think I get what you’re saying…

You’re not annoyed because the guy is big, you’re annoyed because he’s a shwank.

There’s a fella in my department that’s a shwank - when someone brings in cookies/doughnuts, etc, he eats more than his share, and if someone has food, chocolate, etc in their office or on their desk he helps himself, sometimes eating the last of whatever it was. He’s a shwank, and he’s also skinny. I call him out for being a hog all the time, because he’s being unfair to the other department members. No one says anything - they just nod in agreement.

I bet if he were a larger person doing the same thing, I would be accused of being mean, and rude and un-PC, etc.

Sorry - a shwank is as a shwank does, regardless of their size and I see no harm in calling it like you see it.

11

** wring ** I work in a law office. I am an associate…this person is a senior associate who “in his mind” thinks he is a partner. There is a pretty firm wall between lawyers and support staff regarding discussing anything more than work. Most lawyers here don’t treat their secretaries like they are human beings. They would never be in a position to say anything like that to him…even w/o the “fat” issue.

I have a close relationship w/ a lot of the secretaries around here…they tell me stuff that the attorneys do that bothers them, and I help out if possible. If my secretary is happy then I am happy. They hate this guy as he especially has a “better than thou” attitude and he takes their food…they can’t just go into the breakroom whenever they want to…they don’t get paid squat and I feel bad for them. Food is an exciting neat thing in this office and they bitched to me such that I lost it with him. I am not the office busybody in the least. But maybe I could have changed the comment to “YOU ASS, YOU KNOW YOU ARE TAKING MORE THAN YOUR SHARE, STOP IT YOU PRICK.” And then I would have avoided the “fat” issue.

Again, I will mention this is his consistent pattern not just an odd blip on the old radar scope.

12

When this happens to me (someone brings in doughnuts), I usually try to stuff as many as I can in my fat face in as short a timespan as I can when nobody’s around. I figure, that way, I get the maximum number of doughnuts, and nobody will know. Then, when someone walks in and I’m choking down doughnut number 17, I just pretend like it’s my first one.

That way, I get lots of doughnuts, and piss off people who are way too sensitive about what others eat.

13

I can’t believe your attitude. The fat police will be by shortly to lay a chubby asswhippin on you very soon.

Hmm. I assume it is because they eat too much and exercise too little. I know there are medical situations where this isn’t the case, but I’d imagine that these are the exceptions, not the rule.

Some fat people need to just get over their pious indignation.

Dave, 60lbs overweight.

14

If the quote given in the OP is exact then I don’t even see how it is particularly weight related.

“You don’t need that many.”

I see nothing about weight in that. Whether it was Kate Moss or Camryn Manheim, that sentence applies.

On the other hand, Krispy Kremes are disgusting balls of lard, so it is probably for the best that he saved four others from them.

15

I’m in agreement, and I’m pretty tired of people jumping to conclusions because their pet PC button has been tickled. I think what the gentlemen did was appalling, and yes, gluttonous (a label that applies regardless of his weight.)

While I personally could not be arsed to confront him if I were in the situation, I can’t say there is anything wrong with doing so.

And forget about the pies people. Put your thinking caps on. How difficult is it to discern an individual portion when it comes to donuts? Who here would honestly argue that 5 freaking donuts could possibly be mistaken as an appropriate amount? Sheesh.

16

OK. In all seriousness, I have a rant. The winner of the NCAA basketball pool at my workplace recently brought in doughnuts. Some sicko took one ate about half of it, and then couldn’t finish it. She ended up throwing it away!

LISTEN UP you skinny fuck. Stuff that in your mouth and finish eating it, or take it away and hide it somewhere. I don’t care if you eat small portions, do you think the rest of us want your disgusting undereating shoved in our faces. Asshole.

Actually I guess it’s not really about whether you’re overweight or underweight, it’s about not eating the exact amount I think you should. Sheesh, get a clue folks.

17

Sure, but eating half a doughnut doesn’t potentially deprive other people of doughnuts. If we had a dozen doughnuts sitting somewhere in my department and someone decided to eat five of them, I wouldn’t even think twice about it, since there are only five people here and everyone could still take a doughnut if they wanted one. Monopolizing the stash without saying something like “Hey, does anyone else want a doughnut before I take some more?” is completely inconsiderate, IMO.

18

I would have done pretty much the same thing in that situation, and I have done in the past.

If I worked with this guy, and he continually did this sort of thing, I would bring it up. And, yes, I’m certainly carrying a few (ahem) extra pounds. - That doesn’t mean I’m gonna eat everything that comes my way…

If you offended him, tough shit - he offended you, and other people. He wants to act like that, then let him deal with the reprocussions!

I’m not going to beat about the bush - if I think you’re out of order, I’ll tell you. If you say the same to me, I’m big enough to deal with it!

Using your “disability” to try and justify some crappy thing that you have done is bullshit. I don’t care if you’re fat, thin, black, white, disabled, foreign, or whatever else…

You do something crap - you take the backlash.

Does that make me a bitch too?

Oh well…

:smiley:

19

I guess all things concidered donuts are down low on the list of things to care about in this life, I feel your pain anyway, BBJ. I guess the best way to deal with dorks like that is simply bring the treats around to people’s desks to see if they want one, before placing what’s left in the break room. Oh, and go to his desk last.

Good luck, may the Krispy Kremes be fresh in your break room.

20

Usually I jump into these types of threads with guns blazing. This time I’m torn.
On the one hand, he’s being a jerk. On the other hand, life isn’t fair, and maybe you should get over it. But on the 3rd hand, I don’t think what you said was completely un-PC. Who exactly needs 5 Krispy Kremes? On the 4th hand you could have used a bit more tact. Even if you do think he’s a big fat hog scarfing down all the food, you don’t have to be a big fat ass.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that if he is being a selfish jerk, you do have the right to call him on it, if you think donuts are really something to get worked up over, and you could do it with a bit more tact. It’s not a matter of being “PC”, it’s a matter of being polite and (no pun intended) the bigger person.