Jeanie, if someone brings doughnuts into my law office and I actually make it to the box before it evaporates, I usually snag one for my secretary and bring it to her. If she doesn’t want it, the secretary who sits next to her or the paralegal around the corner will. I find this strategy much more effective than yelling at the hogs.
I agree that anyone who takes five office doughnuts in a festering pustule. He’ll probably make partner.
Jesus fucking Christ on frenchbread…
Of all the things going on in the world today, you people are bitching about someone’s derisive labeling of someone else’s appearance?
It’s a descriptive term people! Fat, skinny, short, tall, black, white, yellow, ugly, redheaded, harelipped, pigeon toed, pimply, stacked, hung, tanned, the list goes on thru damn near every adjective in the fucking dictionary. That’s why the words exist.
I can see the next time I get mugged, trying to describe the perp to the police. “Well, the assailant’s melanin content was different from mine, our phenotypes were dissimilar, and our gender’s may or may not have matched.”
:rolleyes:
Bullshit. I’ll be telling the cops, “The skinny white little bitch snagged my backpack.”
Get off your fucking cross, people. If you want to be outraged about something, read the newspaper. There’s plenty of things going on a hell of a lot more important than YOU think I need to lose weight. Or gain it.
:wally
Why does it always turn into a debate about the use of the word “fat?”
** Newton ** I guess the comment about the amount of stuff he eats was really to show that his weight is brought about by his own actions…not the other reasons I mentioned. The term “glutton” was used…that is what he is. And had he been a marathon runner I would have still defended the donuts (god that sounds dorky) but he wouldn’t be yelling at me and threatening me for calling him “fat” rather he would have been yelling at me for being a bitch–which I can be and I am relatively comfortable with that.
I don’t think I have issues with fat. I actually try to be more sensitive to it because I am thin and I don’t know what it’s like to be in that boat. Some of my best friends are fat 
Why does that always sound like so much bullshit?! :). But this turd is using his weight as an excuse and as a weapon and it bites.
I understand there are donuts in the breakroom right now…I’m gonna see if I can snag one! Glutton-boy is not here today!
According to BBJ, the dude said “Why are you making comments about my weight…I was hungry…I eat more…what’s the problem.”
This gives me the impression he is saying he deserves more because he is an overweight dude. That’s bullshit! He is using his weight as an excuse to be a dick.
I believe that’s what BBJ meant. I don’t think she was ragging on him for being fat, but ragging because he was using his fatness as an excuse to be an asshole.
See if you can snag me an apple fritter.
You’re right, I posted what I did earlier because I am just trying to mask my pain.
Look – Some jerk took way too many doughnuts, managing to be a complete pig and deprive others of a simple pleasure. She called him on it, and mentioned how it’s no surprise that he is a fatass with the way he usually eats.
It does not insult any reader who happens to be heavy. Just becuase you were offended, don’t project that on another group of people.
and BTW,
I think this is a great idea. Put out two batches, and make a sign especially for him. Although, just use his name, not “FATTY” – that way he has no gripe about what has happened – you are just catering to what he has described as his needs. I think he’d get the point rather quickly.
Being the bitch that I am, I would of brought a box enough for the staff and another box of donuts especially for the guy you work with. I would of done it front of everyone. Cruel? Yeah but does he give a fuck about taking more than his fair share? Nope, so all in all the situation would make everyone happy, no?
I must agree. My last place of employment was two blocks from a full KK franchise. We could actually step outside and see if the “HOT” light was on and if it were, would send some lackey to pick up a couple dozen. Krispy Kremes are the manna from heaven spoken of in the Bible. Krispy Kremes are the ambrosia of the gods. They are, yes, fat and sugar, but they are fat and sugar in such form that the orgasmic reaction of the taste buds far outweighs the “Damn, I thought I buckled my belt one notch back” reaction of the ass and belly.
I grew up in Oklahoma, a land unfortunately bereft of Krispy Kreme franchises. Nearly 5 years ago, I made my way to the promised land of South Carolina, where the roads are paved with the golden donuts.
Oh, yeah…if you can, buy some stock. Even Jimmy Buffet has decided that buying a franchise is a good idea.
We had a similar guy in my old office (it was a law office . . hmmm).
Anyway, most of the time when there was a special meeting of some sorts, food would be ordered and put in the conference room at the appropriate time. This guy would look into the conference rooms, and grab food, even if he had nothing to do with the meeting in question.
As far as the “fat” issue goes, yes the guy was fat.
I agree that there’s a double standard at work - if he were a marathon runner, he wouldn’t have incurred nearly as much ire. There seems to be something especially offensive about a fat person stealing food from other people.
But the reality is that (IMHO) most fat people are addicts in the same way that smokers are addicts. It is difficult for them to control their urges. They need help. This of course does not excuse rude conduct.
What is it with fat greedy bastards in law firms?
My old firm had a partner whose name, appropriately enough, was Max. Our offices were on the same floor, which had a breakfast club on Fridays - your basic round robin of who would bring eats for the members. When I started at this firm, KK had just opened near my apartment in Manhattan - so of course I brought a bunch. And thereafter had to every time it was my turn :D. Since we had 45 people in the club, and KK donuts are rather small, I’d usually bring in about 8 doz - a mix of the classic glazed and assorted others.
Max was enormous, greedy, slothful. (Ironically, he was having an affair with a senior associate - both were married - who was bulemic; I called the two of them the Mirror Spratts.) But anyway, several witnesses reported to me what happened one fine Friday after I’d brought in my usual haul. Max walks into the office kitchen, proceeds to grab a box of assorted with at most two donuts missing, says “I like all of these,” and returns to his office.
Me: “Did he have clients with him?”
Witness: “No, he was by himself.”
“Did he give any to his neighbors?”
“Nope. He just closed the door and they were gone when he opened it again.”
And of course he didn’t give any to his girlfriend, 'cos even if she let herself eat a nibble she’d’ve just barfed it back up anyway.
Now mind you, I always brought in ridiculous amounts of food so it’s not like anyone went lacking. But the idea was just so repellant, so utterly revolting, so grotesque.
I’m sure If Max were other than a slimeball it wouldn’t have bothered me. Come to think of it, he wasn’t the largest person on our floor - but the other guy was the salt of the earth, and for that you ignore foibles. But once you confirm your assholedom, everything is open season.
This one sentence has pretty much summed it up for me.
Hmm . . I wonder if we could get away with putting this in GQ?
But it’s cool when thin people do it?
Re the OP… I didn’t see any remarks made about his weight, only about his grabbiness. ** BottledBlondJeanie **, Did you say " You don’t need that many" in a pointed way that was obviously a veiled reference to his weight?
In any case, I don’t think it was your job to jump his shit, and I DO think that a sign should be put up or a remark made in the first place that it’s one-to-a-customer. Then, if he takes more than that, he’s can be busted on it.
FWIW, I wouldn’t be mad at the guy, I’d feel very sorry for him. I’m amazed that he’s willing to let his compulsive eating be so visible to everyone. But then, he’s a guy, men aren’t as hung up about that kind of thing as women are.
His weight is very relevant simply because it is a constant (and often reviled) physical reminder of this guy’s gluttony and rudeness. If he was thin, the same behavior would be noticed, but not to the same degree. His fat is a sign around his neck that says “I’m a glutton.” Most people feel that way about fat on anyone, and this guy is just willing to show how true it actually is in his case.
A friend of mine dealt with a porker like this by popping a used tampon in an eclair. Word was he relished half of it then quit a few weeks later.
originally posted by Stoid[quite]But it’s cool when thin people do it?
[/quote]
Stoid,
Knock it off. Of course not.
It’s petty and small-minded of anyone to make snide remarks about the looks and weight of the average passer-by.
I was referring to the old “pot-kettle” thing here though. If you are as physically out of shape as the man in the OP apparently is, then you really shouldn’t be picking on anyone about looks and weight.
Ever share an office with a fitness freak—oops, I mean fitness maven—long distance runner or otherwise?
**
“He’s so pumped his veins stand out, and it’s just gross!”
**
“He does isometrics when he’s standing at the copier, for crissake!”
**
“He is NOT outstanding as a runner, even after years of training.”
**
“He makes this disgusting power sludge every day in the breakroom. Wheat germ, yogurt, raw eggs…It’s enough to make a dog sick.”
Masonite, you are my hero! If you ever get to be an office manager, can I work for you?
You’re in on the ground floor, babe. I’ll give you a call when the office opens. 
Regardless of the guy’s weight, the fact that he took five donuts is just plain rude. Add in the fact that he’s fat and you’re just adding insult to injury.
As many have said, when it’s “community food” in an office setting, you take ONE until you know everyone has gotten their share. His comment to BBJ that he “needs” more is just ridiculous. This poor guy is in serious denial.
Another poster said his crime is also his punisment. No kidding.
What he “needs” is a salad and a diet soda, not five freaking donuts!