I'm such a douchebag, I can't park my Lexus!

Maybe he is trimming his beard while it parks! I just don’t know what to say. If you can’t parallel park, maybe you shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car with a 380 HP engine? And what happens when some equally darwinable person walks behind it while it is automatically parking? They put those rear view mirrors in for a reason.

Call this pit short and sweet. Burn in hell, douchebag!

/Firefox flags “douchebag”, but has no problem with “douche” or “bag”
//Go figure.
///Added it to the dictionary!

I’m sure that’s what they said when automatic transmissions came out…

Besides, you know there are already plenty of people driving big cars and SUVs who don’t know how to parallel park. I’d rather they use the automated system than try to park manually.

You step on the brake, of course.

Now if they’d just make them where they automatically get out of the left lane when the speed drops below 70…

I wish cars could be automated further. If all cars were on some kind of network where you gave them a destination and they drove you all the while navigating around other cars on the same network, there would be a lot less accidents and people would be able to do other stuff while they’re driving.

Just like now.

Except this way they wouldn’t be driving while doing that other stuff.

The problem is that this is a system that is being beta tested on the general public. Any human factors person will tell you that when you automate a procedure you invite a lack of attention. I am predicting here, and am awaiting the first of many lawsuits over this system. I bet that the first pedestrian will be hit within six months of the introduction of this vehicle.

I’m just waiting for the first person to push the “parallel park on the right side of the road” button when he’s trying to parallel park on the left side, and his big honkin’ car backs directly into oncoming traffic. Or people who guess the distance wrong and start crushing the cars that are already parked there.

This would be FTW, but I would say about 79.

Um, someone have a link? It sounds like there’s an auto-parking feature or something? How the hell would that work? I’m not in the Lexus demographic, but I’d like to read about my betters anyway.

Lexus auto park demonstration
It is not as easy as it seems, and although a lot of reviewers say it is a nice ‘toy’, it would actually be easier to parallel park on your own.

Perhaps if the car were to announce, in a computer voice accompanied by the “beep beep beep” sound, whilst performing the maneuver:

“My owner is a douchebag, and cannot be bothered to park (or learn how to park) his 380 HP Lexus! Stand away salarymen! Your better is trimming his beard and cannot be troubled with mirrors!”

Yah. I would go for that!

It will be a nice “toy” for the liability lawyers.

The demonstration seemed pretty cool at that link, thanks. If it could get my neighbors to stop taking up a car and a half worth of space at the curb, I’d be all for it!

The real outrage is the fine print in this ad - “Available parking system requires driver to steer and brake.”

Wait a second!

Um… quite obviously, if someone walks behind you, it stops.

System wouldn’t really work so well if it couldn’t detect objects behind it, now, would it?

The fine print I saw was the driver has to confirm clearance and brake.

Imagine-self-parking Lexus goes beserk and kills bystander!

And what a mirthful time for most of us that will be!

Did automatic transmission and cruise control result in an increased number of accidents? Has anyone successfully suied auto makers for these?

Anyway I believe self-parking has been available on the Japanese-market Prius for a year, and I haven’t heard of any major problems with this feature.

Here is one of the reviews of the car:
automobilemag.com

I was recently at a meeting with three other college-educated, professional women and the one who had insisted on driving was a tiny little woman driving an enormous luxury car. I was dismayed to see that she had parked quite crookedly, and we’re not even talking about parallel parking here, she had parked quite crookedly in a generous parking space.
She giggled about how she just couldn’t park correctly tee hee. Worst of all, the other two professional women I was with chimed in and agreed that they also had great difficulty parking their cars.
If I ran the world, they’d all be remediated until they could park a damn car in a damn parking space.
The one hope I have left is that the other two women really could park their cars competently but they were just trying to make the first woman feel better. I insist on believing this.