I just caught a commercial on TV promoting the rotating headlight as something they invented. Y’all may have improved it but you sure as hell didn’t invent the thing!
Well, at last the R&D department made a great effort to describe the concept in as much mumbo-jumbo techno babble as possible.
“Adaptive Front lighting System” :rolleyes:
And another thing. What’s with those Suburu commercials? what the hell is “symmetrical four wheel drive”? and why are thy pushing their “monochromatic” colors? Do they think no one know what *monochromatic * means?
I once saw a 1932 Packard that had driving lights (mounted to the first chassis crossmember just behind the bumper) that had a link to the steering so that they turned with the front wheels. So even Tucker wasn’t the first…
:rolleyes: Single-color colors? You’ve gotta be shitting me. They’re advertising this crap? :smack:
Monochromatic colors makes me giggle. And roll my eyes all the back into my head.
I forget which manufacturer it was, but there was an ad campaign here in the UK trying to make a virtue out of how many “optional extras” their cars included as standard (which doesn’t make sense anyway, but still). You could see the poor marketing wonks were struggling to make this plausible though, because in the list of optional-but-standard extras was “1.6 litre 16V engine”…
I’d like to mention Nissan’s exploitation of Black History Month and the civil rights movement in their latest commercials.
Man, Tuckerfan is gonna be pissed.
That’s part of the reason I put this in the pit. I was going to put his name in the thread title but I was afraid people would think I was pitting him!
I can’t say I’ve ever wished my car had swivelly headlights.
I wonder how long they’ll last before they break down. Longer than the hidden headlights luxury cars used to feature? Not as long? About the same?
No disrespect intended specifically towards our Japanese friends on the board, but certainly, there’s an inarguable cultural history of Japanese technology marketing using what I refer to as “Acronymn Saturation Syndrome”.
In particular, take a look at Japanese hi-fi marketing, and the totally “in yer face” Acronymn stickers all over Japanese motorcycles.
It’s just incredible what they get up to. Shitloads of alphabetic combinations left right and centre. Followed by the much smaller type face which spells out for the ignorant what the acronymn stands for. It’s bizarre when you think about it.
I mean, seriously, who are the nongy’s in marketing who think we haven’t noticed this shit yet? Everyone knows that the onward march of technology is relentless. For fuck’s sake… stop heralding every minor milestone with yet another Acronymn Sticker emblazoned all over the place. Enough already.
OK… so Lexus has given us headlights which intelligently work to our benefit? That’s great. It’s hardly a new concept, but thank you Lexus. Now… just piss off with the acronymns, OK?
How long before someone comes up with a way to control the light without having to steer the car? Then they’ll hook up all the lights to this system and you’ll have guys with googly-eye headlights. Then ESPN7 will have googly-eye headlight contests and the world will succumb to googly-eye headlight fever.
In other Tucker news:
I can’t say as I’ve ever driven down a country road at night and thought to myself, “Gee, if only I could swing my headlights 15 degrees to the left, maybe I could spotlight a deer!”
I don’t remember which car manufacturer it was, but somebody at some point was advertising an optional “non-smokers” package. So, what, I have to pay extra for you schmucks to take the ashtray out of the car?
If you toss out the cigarette lighter and buy one of those spotlights powered from the lighter socket, then you can have the non-smoking option and go spotlighting deer!
…In their 1955 model! (this was the first commercial FWD sedan). The swivelling headlamps were not available on export models (th the USA)-Federal regulations prohibited them.
“Adaptive Front lighting System” has nothing on Sub-upper Extremity Vertical Support Apparatus.
If that idea catches on the car manufactureres will jump on it and start advertising a “Smoke Free Mammalian Quadruped Attractant” package with optional chrome detailing.
My friend God Of Citroens once took me for a night drive on some winding Seattle back streets in his Citroen DS with the swivelling headlights (actually, they’re a set of driving lights just inboard of the main lamps). It was pretty darned cool and the lights were definitely worth while; you could see what you were heading toward. On the highway, where curves are gradual, normal headlights have enough spread that you can see what you’re steering toward, but on those tightly-curving back streets, the swivellers really made a difference.
Oh, and ralph–Citroen offered a front-drive model (the Traction Avant) starting sometime in the Thirties.
But even then I believe that the L-29 Cord (1929) beat Citroen to market with FWD…
But, for that matter, the very first self-propelled vehicle, Cugnot’s artillery tractor (1769), was front-wheel drive!