I'm the only non-expert on the internet.

The BBQ Pit
1

Is it me or in the last five years has everyone suddenly become an expert on everything?

I’m not sure how to articulate this, so please bear with me and hopefully I can explain what I’m talking about.

On the internet, it is nearly impossible to get average information. For example, if you ask, “What’s a good cheap digital camera?” then suddenly the room is filled with photographers from Life and National Geographic who are telling you about all kinds of crap you don’t know or care about.

If you say, “I was thinking of getting a PS2, since I don’t have a console or a DVD player,” you may as well say “PLEASE TELL ME AT LENGTH WHY THE DVD PLAYING ASPECT OF THE PS2 IS INFERIOR TO WHATEVER YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE.”

It is assumed that if you listen to music, you are doing so on the finest quality speakers, with only the finest quality sound reproduction at your fingertips. Suddenly everyone around me no longer has ears but finely honed listening devices able to discern even the slightest fault in audio presentation. I have been told on another forum that if I were to buy more expensive headphones, I’d be able to hear how crappy my mp3s are. I haven’t taken them up on that offer. I’ve had people stunned to find out that I happily watch DVDs on my 19-inch tv and my PS2 player.

It’s like I’ve wandered into The Playboy Advisor, circa 1979. Everyone around me is smoking pipes and discussing the latest, highest-quality merchandise I’d be a fool not to buy.

In addition, people dont talk about comics or movies they like, everyone instead wants to talk about all the behind-the-scenes stuff. It’s not enough just to read comics or watch movies, you have to be an industry insider. In fact, it’s terribly gauche to discuss things that are already out, since all the real buzz is on the 2003 releases.

I know the internet is a great source for info, but I find it’s turned a lot of people into, well, The Playboy Advisor, circa 1979.

2

This is the one that pisses me off. I’m sick to death of reading “reviews” for movies/video games/whatever which are based on the smallest possible bits of information.

So you’ve seen a trailer, a demo, a screen shot, a still, read an interview, bought the pre-release action figures, or read about how the special effect will be done. Big fucking deal!! The finished product could still turn out to be completely different from what you think.

3

Lego:

Well said. I couldn’t agree more. Especially about the presentation quality standard which has recently been enacted.

Jeez, I DON’T need all the best fuckin’ dadudes to enjoy the movie. Or to hear it “correctly”. So what if I’m a loser because I don’t have surround sound in my apt?

I don’t need the dolby THX noise thunder around me to hear the action scenes fer chrissakes.
I don’t need the big screen to see the action scenes “properly”.
I don’t NEED cd-quality recordings of my MP3’s.

It doesn’t make the movie any more exciting. Or the song any better!!

4

You say that as if it’s a bad thing.

[sub]now if you’ll excuse me it’s time to don my smoking jacket, pour myself a cognac, and get back to listening to Mercury Rev’s latest on my rather spiffing Audio Fidelity system[/sub]

5

That is the coldest thing I’ve ever read here. You’re nasty, man.

My job FORCES me to listen to fabulous sound equipment; last Spring I heard my first pair of quarter-million-dollar speakers. They sounded real nice. And they are capable of preposterous volume. But I can still get real nice sound and make my ears bleed at the same time with my four-buck garage sale speakers. So my expertise is something I have to adopt while at work.

6

What you REALLY need is a transducer so you can FEEL the action!

7

I don’t know if the following is a truly accurate observation or not, but I’ve noticed that there’s a very high corollary between the level of pretentiousness found in newspaper restaurant reviews and the affluence of the metropolitan region.

When I was living in Denver, for instance, the bulk of a typical restaurant review incldued the chef’s CV, a list of other restaurants the owner has operated in the past, a history of other famous restaurants at the location, very specific details of the decor, the background music and ambient noise level, the appearance of the crowd, and the “presentation” or “artistry” of the food. In Buffalo, it’s portion size, taste, atmosphere, taste, friendliness of the staff, taste, portion size, price and portion size.

8

I think I’d like Buffalo.

9

lego- cant agree more! drives ya nuts, don’t it? i got too many examples of this happening to me to list.

here is a reverse example: i sold someone some “hard to find” parts on ebay once, and since then, i have been bombarded with questions from all over, as somehow the rumour that i was some kind of “guru” got spread around through the enthusiasts circles. i feel like a moron, cause i probably know little more than anyone else and am certianly no expert. it sucks to have to admit to people how ignorant you really are!

drop- check these babys out! cool shit! i dont know how to link, so you need to check out bgcorp.com

i’ve heard these, they are phenominal sounding and i would say they are worth the money! (i’m guessing the $250k system you heard uses drivers supplied by this company, am i right? i figure could be 1 of 3 manufacturers. please tell me!)

10

This is the one I heard. In his training class/plug session the president got heavily into how non-critical the drivers themselves were. “Yeah, everybody uses the same $30 drivers.” It’s the cabinet materials and design that are the important, and expensive, part. His top cabinets are made of layered Avonite (it’s only available in one thickness so he has to layer it) which gets muy expensivo. But no, they aren’t worth the money. They aren’t worth a tiny fraction of the money. But if some pretentious billionaire gets it into his head that spending that much money will improve his status… Plus, that much money is probably considerably LESS of his total worth than that four bucks was of mine at that time.

11

My father works in broadcasting, and he’s heard all kinds of spiffy sound systems. He’s listened to his audiophile coworker’s system (tens of thousands of dollars at least). “Yeah, they’re nice,” he says. The speakers in the living room? He got 'em when he was about fifteen. The fronts have been shredded by cats. But damn if they aren’t louder than the car stereo of the punk across the street!

Unfortunately, when you ask someone about something they are proud to know a lot about, they tend to succumb to the impulse to show you just how much they know. I’m guilty of this m’self. The trick is seeing both sides of the “A is better! No, B is better!” argument – for instance, I’m one of the few PC lovers I know who will actually admit that there’s some things Macs are just better at.

Next time you have this kinda problem, just ask “If you know so bloody much, why can’t you answer my question?”

12

thanks for the info, drop! i hadn’t heard of that one!

a favorite quote: “a fool and his money are some party!”

13

Lego, I know just what you’re talking about. You can’t have conversations anymore, you have contests.
“I know more than you do.”
“No, I know more than you do.”
Sheesh. Get over yourselves, people. Is it just me, or do the people most guilty of this kind of attitude seem like the kind of person who is still living in their parents’ basement (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and never have anything to do with real, live people?

14

Lego, I think that you have missed the point. The internet is not a place where experts gather to dispense their wisdom. Rather, it is a place where people can pretend to be experts and feed their delusions that they are better than other people.

I wouldn’t recommend trying to play expert here, though. Everyone here either demands cites or look things up for themselves to verify what has been posted.

I suggest you sign up for some other message board and pretend you know alot about something. See if you get called on it, and post your results back here.

15

Actually this could be a great way to waste time! Just sign up and pretend to be, oh, a brain surgeon, for example! Sounds like fun to me :smiley:

[sub]::runs off to a chat room to pretend he is an expert on nuclear physics::

16

Well, it’s a good thing I’m stupid, so I don’t have to pretend to be an expert on anything.

17

Beyond the expert thing, there’s also the search for expert knowledge angle. For example, on Cafe Society I posted a thread commenting that I didn’t care about DVD Extras. Many people said they were good for people interested in the craft of filmmaking, which is a valid point. The thing is, I think these days it’s assumed that most people ARE interested in the craft of filmmaking. That no viewing of a movie is complete unless you can then find out what exactly guided the director and actors during the making of the movie. 99% of the time I couldn’t care less, I just want the movie to be good.

(Note: I’m not ranting against the people that answered such. I hope that’s evident.)

Similarly, I have seen on comics newsgroups the assumption that everyone reading the newsgroup is an aspiring writer or artist of comics, instead of just someone who enjoys them.

This dovetails into movies and comics where, to fully understand them, you have to follow the newsgroup, or check out the website, or whatnot. It used to be that movies were self-contained, but it seems these days, it’s starting to be the case that unless you have this “insider” knowledge, you aren’t really getting the whole thing. It’s not just a case of the other sources enhancing the original work, but flat out explaining it. I’m thinking of ‘Kingdom Come’ for comics and ‘Blair Witch Project’ for movies, neither of which I liked, partly for this reason.

Similarly, I mentioned to someone casually about Suzanne Vega’s new CD and how it talks about the divorce I didn’t know she had. The response was, “You didn’t know that? I thought you were a fan!” A fan, yes, a stalker, no. I don’t feel I need to know what’s going on in Suzanne’s personal life to enjoy her music - and in fact, I assume Suzanne would be capable of writing a song about a divorcee without actually being one.

Is this making sense?

18

It would appear from the quality of your posts and others here that you REMEMBERED your “world-saving task.”

19

::wipes drool away::

Damn! That’s some pretty big speakers. I don’t suppose I could borrow them?

DaLovin’ Dj

20

Buy speakers for a DVD player? Fuck that, I just took two speakers from an old PC and hooked them in. Works fine, didn’t cost anything.

If I want 5.1 or whatever, I’ll just – Oh wait, I don’t give a shit.
I also saved money on buying a stereo system by plugging an old portable CD player with a broken earphone jack into my Bose radio. All I needed was a special type of cable.