That’s right. It will be a good one, with something written into it that basically states that whomever forwarded it on is a moron for ever believeing it.
All I need is an idea. I thought about saying that someone is smearing the saliva of a Komodo Dragon on public toilets, and talking about the invincible bacteria that lives in it. That sounds too off the wall though. Help!
Wow, Mr. Cyn, I just got an email from my aunt’s cousin’s sister warning me about that bacteria in the saliva. It’s apparantly even worse for women - it causes infertility. It’s true! I read about it on the internet!
I won’t say the idea has never crossed my mind but I’ve decided against it. One of the elements of spreading a UL is not telling anyone about it. I hope you realize that the next time a UL spam crosses the inbox of a Doper, we’ll all have to come to your house and kick your ass. We can’t have our own defeat Cecil’s mission of wiping out ignorance. 
Actually, someone else floated this idea on this board earlier. Said poster was hooted down by the Teeming Millions with great scorn and derision. Maybe it ain’t such a good idea to promote this on a message board that claims to dedicate itself to eradicating ignorance. I suggest you reconsider your malformed intention with dispatch.
It should be something of national significance, so that my cousin from MO can email it to me 6 times. So in your example it would have to be ring of Komodo-saliva smearers.
Also it should reference something people feel guilty about anyway, so that they subconciously feel as though it’s deserved. However, sex and food have pretty well been dealt with, UL-wise.
I suggest that you discover a previously unknown side-effect of using soft toilet paper. After all, it’s a luxurious thing, so it must be bad for you.And it ties in to your bathroom theme.
Good Luck!
Much like I said earlier, it would be the kind that shows itself to be a legend. The kind of thing where all the letters down the left-hand side of the page spell out something like “I forwarded this because I am a dumbass.”
Or would that not be ovbious enough?
A friend of my mom’s tennis partner said she heard of a girl who started a UL ended up dying when her liver spontaneously erupted out of her nasal cavity. I’m pretty sure the local emergency room would know something about it.
I once told tourists in DC that the reason that the bottom third of the Washington Monument is lighter than the top is because it was underwater during some flood in the 1800’s. They looked amazed, and didn’t have a clue that I was making it up.
(If they’d read the signs posted around the bottom of it, they’d have found the real reason.)
I’ve always wondered if their kid went home and said this as fact in a “What I Did This Summer” essay.
AWB:
You may have been making up the story about the Washington Monument, but it’s not original with you. It’s been used to freak out tourists for decades.
Heck, I’ve got it in an old Dennis the Menace comic book at home.
In England, people are suspected of leaving blue
Fingerpaint on bathroom mirrors, causing
Observers of said mirror to spontaneously combust.
Witnesses say that the victims of these mirrors
Allegedly tried to clean the mirrors. We have
Reason to believe that ingredients in the paint
Directly caused the death of
Eight people. Families have been notified but the
Deceased’s names have yet to be released to
The general public. Instead of mirrors, people now
Have to guess that they look good. The shame.
In Santa Barbara last week
Seven people were accused of the deadly
Beating of “tourists”. Yes, fifteen
Extraterrestrials were beaten to death today with
Crowbars. Police are urging people to be on watch and
Aware of strange activity. People are also expected to report all
UFO sightings. Local police
Suspect that a rival gang of
Extraterrestrials is responsible for these deaths.
If you have any information, you are urged to stay
Away from microwaves. Do not attempt to use your
Microwave! This is very important as brain waves
Are transmitted through the microwave
Directly to the mother ship. You are also
Urged to turn off all of your lights and unplug all
Major appliances. We ask that you do this simply
Because you can never be too safe.
Also, do not leave your house!
Stay away from windows and lock your doors.
Santa Barbara police thank you for your cooperation.
Shit! I forgot the first “R” in forward! Damn it, all that time just to go and screw it up!