You and me both.
I was kind of hoping that one of those links was going to be to a picture of the girl standing in the road, scratching her head while trying to figure out how to remove her Jetta from the back end of a bus.
Doesn’t that make you dead?
They don’t have metaphors where you grew up, I take it.
I’ll pretend that there’s no metaphors around here, either. I WAS dead, just like Glorfindel, but I got out of the Halls of Mandos on a century-pass. It just took me longer than the blond dude on account of me being a much, much, much, pretend-I-wrote-much-10000-times bigger jackass.
What’s a metaphor?
Is Radagast dead?
More like it makes them mythical.
Saving the day, geez. Jump off a tall building, and you’ll be wanting a meta, I tell you.
No, Fëanor’s dead. Try to keep up.
And I am shocked, shocked, I tell you, that you weren’t speaking literally, Skald. There are no idioms amongst the first born (or the Maiar; the Valar, obviously, have their own set of rules).
Hal Briston, major props for having the foresight not to get side-swiped by the raging retard in the Jetta.
Did you, in fact, bother to say anything to her further up the road? Or did you just, y’know, laugh?
Don’t you just love instant karma?
I know this confirms me as a bad, bad person but the mental image I got of this is going to have me choking back laughter all night.
…which in this state would either be a picture of this guy’s mouth or a picture of the ‘Old Bee Hive’ of Provident Savings Bank.
Not that ramming a Jetta down Mark Levin’s throat is necessarily a Bad thing. 
I think Blue Wizards are there to shoot the food.
So funny.
I love this thread.
But it reminded me of a time when I was a teen and I had this crazy bitch riding my ass, and I mean RIGHT ON MY ASS, giving me dirty looks though I was in the far right lane. I was going a little slow, it was my first car and it didn’t run so good over 50. Anyway, I get pretty close to my exit and I can see that up ahead on the highway the traffic is stopped, I think it was for construction on an upcoming bridge, but it’s clear to my exit so I don’t slow down at all. She did not see what was in front because she was busy, apparently, glaring at me. I pulled off onto the exit and immediately heard the thud. Looked back and her car was crushed in front almost to the windshield. I didn’t notice if the cars in front had any damage, I just looked back quickly and then kept driving. I felt horrible for a long time that I didn’t stop and go back to see if she was hurt and needed help.
It taught me to never tailgate.
Win.
Blue wizard needs food, badly.
Dude! This was a perfect chance to get her phone number!
Reminds me of a story too. Once again, there’s me on the freeway with a tailgater behind me who came up so fast I did a double take at the mirror. I was in the left lane, going a little faster than the flow of traffic, and there was a truck next to me, going with the flow of traffic. She came right up on me and was hovering mere inches from my bumper. So naturally, I gradually slowed down to match the truck’s speed - no more than two or three mph. I didn’t keep it up very long, maybe a minute at most, but it made me feel better. Eventually she managed to fling herself around me, flipping me off as she went. Not more than two minutes later, I see her on the side of the road, having rear-ended some other guy. I’ll always regret not having stopped to offer the guy my name and number in case he needed someone to back up his story.
And the Lifetime Achievement Award for Best Ever Use of Visuals in an Asshat Driver story goes to… it’s a tie! Hal Briston, for VERY VERY SORRY and Danny Boyle for SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!*
(*True it doesn’t have visuals or asshat drivers story, but watch that Bollywood dance at the end and tell me it doesn’t deserve the award.)
Well done Hal, nice!
wipes away tears
Thankyou for a great start to the weekend!
I had some twitwhistle tailgating me today as I left work. I was going about 25 or so because I was driving through a very congested (as in lots of houses and blind intersections) area and Dingdong the Wonder Dummy decided to be a hemorrhoid on my bumper. I enjoyed myself immensely. Didn’t shift out of second gear at all. Then DtWD zoomed around me so s/he could get to the stoplight a whole five seconds ahead of me. I was praying for a stopped bus, but alas there were no bus stops there.
I’m glad it made you feel better and I know you didn’t keep it up for long, but really, of all your options, this is the stupidest. It either forces passing in the right lane, or causes dangerous backups behind you, and hurts everyone, not just the tailgater you are trying to punish. Knowing you did this honestly makes me think less of you.
To Hal - Fantastic story. I was chortling throughout. But…any chance the only reason she was tailgating was to get a better look at the sheep in the backseat?
I concur, this stunt is very dangerous. And, maybe, just maybe she had a legit emergency.