I'm writing a Christmas screenplay -- got any advice?

Cafe Society
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Thinking ahead, waaay ahead to Christmas 2022, I am putting together a plan to produce a local community play based on an obscure, but charming, children’s story. Since we are in the very earliest stages of planning – brainstorm time, nothing finalized yet – I am open to any and all opinions and suggestions.

But here are my notes so far.

The original story was written for children ages 5-12, and is about a gnome who makes toys at Santa’s North Pole Workshop. There are talking roles for the main gnome, a polar bear, Santa, a puffin, and miscellaneous other gnomes and elves. The reindeer don’t talk in this play.

The original story was written in the 1950’s, and I’d like to keep that flavor, so computer and video game sounds are out.

I envision a radio play, performed as a table read before a live audience, so there will be no costumes, wardrobe or makeup. Lighting won’t be an issue. It will be broadcast live on our local cable TV and YouTube, and videorecorded for future use. I have a screenplay about 60% written so far.

I have a dramatic arts background in community theater, with experience in music and sound, but my technical knowledge is obsolete, and needs updating.

Sound quality is paramount. I hope to find a volunteer sound man who will trigger sound effects on cue and handle sound mixing from multiple mics. I think we can find most sounds prerecorded online, or we can make our own as needed, but a good source (cheap or free) would be welcome. Sounds will include: toys (mechanical windup, toy trains, squeaks, whirrs, clicks, dominoes, marbles, etc.), office hubbub with old typewriters, workshop hubbub, small crowds, cheering, footsteps on snow, reindeer flying (what sound would that make?). We can also use some cartoonish sounds, perhaps live, like a slide whistle when something goes up or down.

We may have an excellent guitarist for background and scene transition music. We will stick to royalty-free or original music to avoid copyright issues. If the guitarist isn’t available, we could use already-recorded songs cued by the sound man. Having a band is too elaborate for this project.

Any recommendations as to soundboard or playback software? SFX sources?

Question: Although the live performance will be in front of 100+ citizens of our town, all ages, children are uppermost in our minds. Do you think a 40 minute show of this kind is too long for kids?

Your thoughts?

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As an old audio technician, my gut instinct is that handling sound and SFX is too much for one person. You’ve outlined 12 different effects plus playing a slide whistle live. That’s enough for one person all by themself, even if all the effects are loaded onto a computer and played by a mouse click. Your audio tech will be busy enough handling the sound levels for the performers (particularl)y if performers have to share a microphone.

If you Google “free sound effects” and “free Christmas sound effects” you’ll find a huge assortment. Load them all on to a laptop (or even a tablet), connect your output to your soundboard, and you’re good to go.

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Is your story going to involve dollies for little girls and baseball mitts for little boys?

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I think the little ones will get restless pretty quickly. They’re not used to radio plays and allowing the storyline to wash over them and fill their imagination. Though a great idea so keep on! But I suspect the kids and many adults will expect some visual entertainment outside of the storyline and audio effects. So if you can hook them early and keep them enthralled you’ve a good scenario.

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My advice is, you’ve got to thrown in some unexpected plot twists. Something unexpected. Not the bored-out-of-minds stuff that everyone’s seen or expected since childhood.

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Some of the best radio plays for children were serialized for just that reason-The Cinnamon Bear comes to mind.

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I agree that SFX should be a separate person from the live sound mix. Performers won’t be sharing any mics, however – each will have their own channel.

Dollies & mitts…one boy will get a toy train and a girl will get a rag doll. Even if she did sass her mother, throw a hairbrush and break a mirror. And what he really needs is a spelling book.

I’m going to give a short preamble so everyone knows this is the 1950’s. If they don’t understand the implication, they will learn. Alternately, I could update the entire thing to bring it up to this century. but somehow I can’t see Santa’s workshop using 3D printers and outsourcing to China.

I’m hoping we can make it interesting enough that the kids will be riveted in their seats. One way is to involve the audience – by breaking the 4th wall – and I hope to do that just a little. Otherwise, I am trying to shorten and tighten the dialogue as much as possible.

@Velocity – This story already has several plot twists, although they are mild compared to a murder-thriller-whodunit. And some minor characters with quirks that I think will elicit some chuckles.

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Oh good! That was going to be my suggestion. When you mentioned a slide rule, I envisioned you getting some laughs from a cantankerous old elf.

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One thing you can do is put the performers in costume, or at least in clothes that suggest the characters.

The best thing to keep the kids engaged is to somehow bring them into the performance. For example, they could be a chorus of Santa’s elves, and answer back when Santa asks them to work harder because Christmas eve is coming quickly, or stuff like that.

Thinking back to the 50s, one of the most kid engaging tricks ever was Mary Martin as Peter Pan encouraging everyone who believed in fairies to clap their hands to save Tinkerbell.

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Slide rule? You mean a slide whistle? The sound of a slide rule is much less comical. :slight_smile:

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Indeed! Mea culpa.

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Since you are trying to have an old fashioned radio play, but your audience,(if this play is for the general populace) will have kids that aren’t as locked into that mindset, perhaps you should have second thoughts about gender-specific gifts?

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You are so right. Years ago, I was acquainted with a girl, Shelley, who was in charge of the children’s events at the Spanish Pavilion theater in St. Louis. She produced scripts to entertain young kids on Saturday afternoons – often fairy stories. She made sure that there were two chase scenes in the live action. First, there was a witch who mock-threatened the kids, and they had to run from her. Later in the play the tables were turned and the kids had to chase after the witch. Shelley made sure the chase path snaked through the entire room, and the kids had a ball.

I have plans for a catch phrase that the kids should pick up quickly, and plan to break the 4th wall early to engage the kids. Maybe I should expand that concept a bit more; I was afraid that might add time, so we’ll have to balance it out just right.

We have had our town’s Christmas party for three years now, and every year, Santa would sit by the tree and read A Visit From St. Nick to the kids. I always thought we could do more.

Another item…for visuals, I plan to project pictures from the book on a big TV during the play, which means I need someone to cue the images up at the right moment. At least I have all the images scanned already.

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I understand your concern about gender-specific gifts, but I think we should let that slide for a few reasons. One, I don’t think the kids will have those same sensitivities, and two, many of the illustrations we will use already have specific toys drawn (dolls, stuffed animals, airplanes, trains) although the images don’t link them to any gender. I would welcome any post-production dialogue about this and explain that times have changed. It would be unreasonable to be seriously offended 70 years later.

It might be hard enough to explain why the Weather Gnome can’t check the weather and map on his phone, but has to use a teletype printout and a wall map. And poor Santa doesn’t have GPS or ILS on his sleigh, either.

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Well, the leading man should either be a cold-hearted businessman who has returned after many years to his charming little hometown of Bay Harbor Cove to shut down the beloved teddy bear factory because he wants to turn it into a kombucha bar, or a prince. The leading lady is a party planner played by Lacey Chabert. They must be thrown together by circumstance, discover that they are not so different after all, have their first kiss interrupted by someone who really knows how to kill a mood, split up when it appears one has betrayed the other, then get back together and live happily ever after. I mean, until the sequel, obviously.

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That’s never been done before, right? I wouldn’t want to be accused of plag…plag…something like that. Sounds too intense for kids, like shooting Santa Claus or drowning George Bailey.

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This would be the perfect time for that slide ::checks notes:: whistle!

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I don’t know. They pulled off something like that on Murder She Wrote.

Charlie gets an anonymous blackmail tape with a message, from a woman, in his car. Beth finds it and sees him kiss a mystery girl. At a charity raffle, a Santa shoots (but not fatally) Wanda Andrews, who works for the city, with Charlie’s gun. Floyd Bigelow reveals he suspects Wanda of embezzling $400,000 from the pension fund. Jessica doubts the obvious and sets a trap to clear Charlie.