Document important events, because at some point that perfect memory will be gone. The book with the name of relatives and their important dates is a must.
I’ll echo the sentiments about taking care of your body and about life not being fair.
I’ll add one thing that may be the most difficult to process: take nothing for granted. We all have such a sense of permanence as kids (and as adults) that enables us to assume that The Way Things Are are The Way Things Always Will Be. This often leads to deep regret when we find we didn’t enjoy and appreciate the things we had when we no longer have them. This applies to our relationships with other people, material things, and even our own health (see prior references to taking care of our bodies). The phrase “This, too, shall pass” comes to mind, and applies to the positives and negatives in life.
Just understand that whatever you have may not always be there.
When you’re stressed about something, try to think of a way to turn that situation around into a positive. Stressed about the laundry piling up? Well, the positive is: if I have laundry to do, it means my family and I have clothes to wear. I also have a washer and dryer available to me, and don’t have to use a scrub-board like my grandmother did.
Stressed about a fight with your spouse? Positive: I have a spouse; I care enough about him to worry about fighting with him.
Obviously, these are just examples. But it really is better (as mentioned upthread) to think in terms of what you have, than to think in terms of what you don’t have.
That leads me to this: You are never going to have all the ‘stuff’ you want. There will always be something new, something better, etc. You can’t afford it all. Get over it, and think of all the great stuff you’ve already got. And it’s not ‘stuff’ that makes you happy, anyway.
One last thing, from The Desiderata: “Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth”.
Every time I see a woman in her 40s dressed like she’s 19, I shudder.
From the poll it looks like I may be one of the old ones; so listen up ya young whippersnappers.
My one piece of advice is:
- Stop thinking about it and go ahead and do it.
You know what it is I’m talking about, that thing you want to do but are too afraid (of what?) or know you need to do but keep putting off, or that opportunity you can’t decide is worth the trouble. DO IT NOW. Before you think again.
Looking back over 50 years I can safely say that most of my best memories had some sort of risk at the beginning where I could have chosen to stay safely at home and didn’t. Trying a new hobby, asking a girl out, moving to a new job, making new friends - these all require a leap. I say take that leap.
Take care of your body, take control of your finances, prepare for the future. Do all of that. But… enjoy yourself. Do it every single day. Don’t be one of those people who thinks “I’ll be happy when…” Be happy NOW.
There are three primary ways to make it in the world: kick ass, kiss ass or haul ass. Everything is a variation of those three.
Go as far away from home and safety as you possibly can. Experience as much as you possibly can. Piss away as much of your money as you possibly can. There’s plenty of time for responsibility, career, family, mortgages and retirement later on.
You can only be wild, young and free for a short time; if you don’t do it now you’ll hate yourself later. There’s few things sadder than a 45-year-old whining about how they wasted their youth (or, worse still, trying to relive those lost years).
What no pearls for the middle agers?
Spend time with your parents while you can. The world is a whole new place once they’re gone.
(I’m only 39 myself. This is something that was said to me by an older gent that stuck with me.)
Your worst fears rarely come true. And in those rare instances when they do, the worst is never as bad as you think it will be. You will survive.
Unless, of course, you don’t. And then it doesn’t matter anymore, because you will be dead.
99 times out of 100, it’s a better use of your time and effort to get better at something you’re good at than it is to try to work on a weakness of yours.
There are lots of things that there is more than one way to do. Find a way to do things that works for you. That might not be the same way your mother did it, or your spouse does it. Of course, remember that your way to do something isn’t the one true right way, either, and learn to put up with others doing things differently than you would.
Don’t go to grad school unless you are 100% certain that you want to spend your life working in a certain field. Don’t go to grad school because you’re afraid of the real world- the real world isn’t nearly as bad as being in grad school when you shouldn’t be (Really, it isn’t). Don’t go to grad school because you liked being an undergrad and want to continue on doing more of the same- grad school isn’t that much like undergrad. Don’t go to grad school because you’re good at a subject and feel some sort of obligation to work in it as a result. Don’t go to grad school because you can’t figure out what else to do with your life at this point.
[ul]
[li]You don’t know jack shit about anything. You can always learn something from someone else, older, younger, same age. If you were as smart as you think you are right now, you probably wouldn’t find the messes you are in right now.[/li][li]Shaddup, listen and observe. Better to limit your chin wag and have people wonder about you than open your mouth and remove all doubt.[/li][li]Respect others. You have to earn it before you get it yourself.[/li][li]You are not immortal. Argue and debate all you want, but when you leave, put on that helmet or buckle up.[/li][li]If you are doing it, quit. If you are not, don’t start. Drugs and tobacco do not lend themselves to long, prosperous and healthy lives. Yeah, it may be “your life,” but many resent having to pay for your stupidity.[/li][li]Never stop learning. Whether you like it or not, society demands the diploma. Or more. Whatever the case, get your basics in your back pocket but never stop learning.[/li][li]Live within your means. Always. Buy only what you need. And when you can afford what you want, always pay cash. Never go into debt over a dead horse.[/li][li]If it’s not on, it’s not on. Birth control is always your responsibility, no matter what your partner may do with their body.[/li][li]Don’t be a jerk. We have more than enough now to go around.[/li][/ul]
Set yourself a budget and stick to it. In that budget, allow for a yearly vacation somewhere. Don’t live on credit cards. Get a retirement fund started now. As has been said, spend time with your parents and let them know you love them (if you do).
Try not to be shy. All the bullshit in high school so does not matter later! Be that geek/nerd, whatever. When you hit your late 20’s (or older), you’ll find the football jocks are getting paunches and going bald; the cheerleaders are all married with a bunch of kids. Go out and do things before you settle down. Fall in love as often as you can and enjoy every moment of it.
Never mix sedatives and laxatives.
Barring rich parents, or being exceptionally wise at a young age, you are going to fail, at something.
After you fail, pick up the pieces, figure out what went wrong, devise a new plan, and get on with your life.
Never count on luck; plan for success. But learn to recognize and sieze luck when it comes your way; it can be the difference between retiring at 40 or 65.
Never pass on a free meal; never skip out on your turn to pay.
Take advantage of networking (family, friends, professional aquaintences); in a competitive job market, it may be that “one thing” that gets you “in the door.”
Now you tell me!
Learn patience. Implementing a process that will actually solve a given problem in a year, or two, or ten, or even twenty (depending on the problem), may be better than doing something that may offer some immediate relief, but either doesn’t solve much or makes it worse in the long run.
A year, or two, or ten, or even twenty (depending on the problem) isn’t really that long in the greater scheme of things. This is much easier to appreciate when you are fifty than when you are twenty.
On the other hand, a long-term solution that never gets implemented isn’t good for much, either.
Look before you leap.
He who hesitates is lost.
Never pass up a chance for a nap.
If he doesn’t pay child support for his other kids, he won’t pay child support for the ones he has with you.
If he does pay child support for his kids, don’t bitch at him over how much it costs. It’ll probably ruin your marriage.
If she’s lost custody of her kids to the state…just don’t, O.K.?
When you marry someone, you marry their credit, bad debts and all. Even if the divorce court orders the other party to pay certain loans, in general the creditor’s right to collect overrides your right to not have to pay.
(Learned the first couple from my Mom, who never learned. Learned number three from another relative, who did sorta finally learn. Learned the fourth from the unfortunate experiences of several of those around me. If you wish an example: My former hairdresser and her 2nd husband ended up paying off not only the debts from her 1st marriage which were supposed to be paid by her 1st husband, but also debts that were incurred by her 1st husband before she even married him. They weren’t technically on the hook for the latter group of debts, but it was the only practical way to clear up their joint credit history so they could get a business loan and get on with life.)
Don’t screw up your credit rating just “to show them you won’t be pushed around” 
And look at her face while you ask her out. No, you don’t want to know how I know this.
Great thread. I’m 27, keep 'em coming.
What is it like when both your parents are gone?