I’m 45 and I was thinking the other day about the good and bad things that come with age, and how my outlook on certain things is markedly different than when I was 20 years old.
With that in mind I thought it would be fun, and possibly useful in some manner, to start a thread where dopers could contribute some hard won life lessons for edification of the teeming millions.
Here are a few of mine. Others please feel free to add yours.
1: Gettiing deeply involved with the problems of seriously dysfunctional people is rarely a good idea in the long run, no matter how well intentioned you may be, unless you plan on doing it for living.
2: The instant you informally loan a friend or acquaintenance any significant amount of money, you had best consider it a gift and if it is repaid, it’s a bonus.
3: A big set of tit’s is not an acceptable subsitute for common sense.
4: People’s attitudinal personalities are pretty much set by the time they are in their late teens and early twenties. People expecting major behavioral and personality modifications in partners beyond this age are kidding themselves.
5: Sometimes you really do have to let go of expectations for children just to save your sanity.
6: Being polite to people, even under stress, is a skill that yields huge benefits in the long run.
7: Sometimes it’s really not about the money.
8: What you give out in helping people does generally come back to you karmawise in one form or another.
9: Being on time for appointments goes a long, long way.
If you want to make a move on a person that interests you, make it. Don’t sit on your hands wishing and hoping. Getting rejected for trying feels a lot better in the long run than never having tried at all.
**Gettiing deeply involved with the problems of seriously dysfunctional people is rarely a good idea in the long run, no matter how well intentioned you may be, unless you plan on doing it for living.
Been There, Done That, Bought the Friggen T-Shirt. I had to learn this lesson hard a few times and I’m only 21.
3: A big set of tit’s is not an acceptable subsitute for common sense.
That it isn’t “fair”. It’s “Life”. It’s your own personal reality TV Show. And it is never going to be “fair”, nor is there anything you can do about it. Frankly, after awhile, no one wants to hear you whine about it anymore. So shut up, cry my a river, build me a bridge, and get the you know what over it.
If I had to put it into three words, I’d just say “Suck It Up”. Make the best of what you’ve been given, make the best of what you have, and be the best “you” (for you and for others) that you can be no matter what that takes. The rest of the crap doesn’t really matter, now does it?
Oh, yes, by thy way, “Bollocks” absolutely IS a cool word!
That “life isn’t a rehearsal” speech? It’s trite. It’s annoying, but it’s true
The only reward you can rely on for “Doing the Right Thing” in any given situation is your own knowledge that you did the right thing - learn to value it.
Breasts are good (OK that’s stretching the “painfully acquired wisdom that comes mainly with age and life experience” definition a bit)
If you are having an argument with a loved one and find that you are wrong admit it right away, but be prepared to argue longer if you really care about the person; they may still want to fight since they built up a good head of righteous steam. Whatever you do don’t laugh!
Go ahead and ask her to dance now. If you wait for the perfect song, some other guy who asked her to dance to the less than perfect song will already be sitting with her when the band finally comes through.
Wake up in the morning expecting a horrible day, and you will not be disapointed.
Wake up expecting a fabulous day, and you will also not be disapointed.
Most importantly, being the free willed individual that you are, if you happen to wake up to a crummy day, you can decide to change it. Even if that means that in your mind you don’t percieve it as being such a wretched day anymore.
A person who has a negative attitude when you meet them is not going to turn into Little Mary Sunshine no matter how positive and happy a person you try to be around them. In fact, it’s more likely that their negative attitude will rub off on you. And relative to that, if a person is inherently unhappy and angry at the world, you WON"T be the one to change them or make them happy no matter what you do.
You are not responsible. That kind of change only comes from within.
Learned from 17 years at the School of Hard Knocks. I’m finally graduating.
If someone prefaces what they say with something like “I’m gonna be honest with you,” whatever they say after that is a lie. Liars will tell you they are liars if you know what to listen for.
Never, ever trust a drug addict. Ever. The second you turn your back, they will steal from you.
If a man doesn’t call you, it’s because he’s not interested.
Most of the people you think are your friends are just associates. True friendship is revealed when you’re in the hospital with 2 broken legs and 2 broken arms, and they are there feeding you because you can’t do it yourself.
Lost innocence can never be regained no matter how young you are.
Be nice to everyone you meet for the first time. You might meet them again when you’re in a real jam.
Respect MUST be earned.
Just as in taking a test, don’t second guess your decisions unless new information comes to light.
If someone’s talking to you, do your level best to give them your full attention. Even the stupidest people can occassionaly say insightful things or give a different perspective.
Sometimes it’s unavoidable to hurt someone you love.
An unpaid traffic ticket can lead to a suspended license, which makes you irrationally run from cops, which causes accidents, which leads to hit-and-run, which leads to more accidents, death and destruction, and a lifetime in jail and courtrooms until strapped into the chair.
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