Important info for cell phone users. PLEASE READ

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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To everyone who uses a cell phone or might ever in the near future use a cell phone, I have some important inside information, and I think you ought to be aware of it. It’s about your safety and security.

Note: this is NOT spam, and this is NOT an advertisement. You can check my posting history here. I have lurked here for years and I have some 500 posts, so I didn’t sign up just to spam this board or place ads. I’m not about to make 500-some posts just to get banned for peddling something to protect your lives.

Please note that I cannot, at this time, reveal the source of the following information. For one thing, there are those who would not want you to know it. If I am found out, it could mean my job – or worse.

I am revealing this information for the sake of those of you who have been using these instruments on a regular basis. In particular, I believe this message should be heard by all of my co-workers who call me on a cell phone with important information that is essential to my job.

So if you have an open mind and are willing to learn what is really transpiring, allow me to alert you to the following:
Nam3ly, can yak tacc … cel& pho7e an; skkle ir ib uggg ibb. Wouzz you drkkk bqtter ib uttt cel7 phone was ibbet out ip ukkk ear and inzzzzzd …appp akk7 Can yub hibb me nuz7 Wirrr yub tubb that … thing ufk or upk it on vibr8te?

There is no need to be overly alarmed. You can minimize the chances of cancer or sterility by a simple modification that involves ibbet hrackk ukkk oom and inkkkkkd …appp akk7.

If you would like further way to prevent such a disaster from happening to you … Harriet … Harriet, can you hear me? You’re breaking up. Well, if you can hear me, say nighty-night to Mr. Whiskers for me that would make Bhopal look like a minor mishap. It does not need to happen to you or your loved ones. The FCC has been slow to move on this, so don’t wait for them to catch up, because it will be too late by then. They will be releasing a report in December, but * Harriet? Harriet? Anyways, no, I don’t think fifteen pounds is too big for a kitty cat, and such a cute one he is.*

You will thank me for this later.
Your friend,
Andy.

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Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Knottoush Abbey
Posts: 565

Hmmm, something smells fishy.

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That’s a funny one.

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You would think that, being drunk of my ass, I ould have a better grasp on the OP. Apparently Andy is ingesting substances in variance from the ones I’ve been ingesting.

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Lurking is different from being registered. Especially in the way it’s impossible to track. ;j

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But what’s there to thank Andy for? Typing gibberish to simulate using an analog* cellphone in subway tunnels?

And what about Mr. Whiskers would make Bhopal look like a minor mishap?

  • AT&T Wireless has “lit up” underground BART tunnels and stations in downtown San Francisco, and it actually works.
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The better to reel 'em in.

That’s the solution. From now on, I’ll insist that any co-worker who calls me on a cell phone has to first go to a subway in San Francisco.
Knowing my co-workers, though, they’ll probably ask what kind of bread I want on my sandwich.
(And I bet those tunnels aren’t lit up nearly as well as one contributor to this thread.)