I had to take a cab ride this morning and boy, am I glad I did. My cab driver told me an amazing story that he learned on the well-known, scientifically sound radio program, Coast to Coast AM. I am here to share it with you so you can adjust your lifestyles appropriately. Here it is, verbatim as best as I can recall:
“There was this group of Russian oil drillers working in Siberia and they were a pretty tough group, you know? Nothing really fazed them. But they were drilling really deep and they started hearing all these noises coming from the ground. So they lowered a microphone into the hole they’d dug and recorded what it picked up onto a tape recorder and when they listened, it was people shrieking in hell. They were so scared that they filled in the well and left it alone so no one would ever find it again.”
I asked him if he heard the recording, and he said yes, and it was just awful. Hell, people. Hell. Under a Siberian oil well.
And now you know…THE REST OF THE STORY. Direct from whoever the hell replaced Art Bell to my taxi driver to me to alla y’all.
God dammit! I’ve been working on rigs for 20 years and I thought we’d manage to keep that rumour quiet. I guess if a pack of swarthy looking Slavs with a derrick turn up in Ann Arbor next week, casa Kyla know who to blame.
I’ve heard that one before and it is a great UL, IMHO. It’s the kind of thing you can imagine kids telling each other while holding a flashlight under their faces. It would also be a great start to a scary movie.
Wow! That just proves both the Bible and the Koran are WRONG, then, because mainstream Christianity and Islam both officially preach that hell will only be populated after a Judgment at the End Of Days. That, or those guys drilled into some kind of Beta/Test Run for Hell.
Those Russians are full of it. Everybody knows the REAL portal into the subterranean nether regions is Mel’s Hole. (Brought to light by the one and only Art Bell. George Noory has never been anything more than a second-rate stand in!)
Cab drivers are an interesting lot sometimes. Usually they’re great, but every now and then they can be a little wacky. Taking a cab from the airport to a friend’s home after Christmas, we got a guy that talked non-stop about how Islam is great and Allah is great. It was kind of funny and kind of scary. But he seemed like a genuinely nice guy.
Years ago I was to meet a companion at a bus station. We were to take the bus to a ferry then take the ferry to our vacation spot. If we missed the bus we’d be delayed by about 2 hours. So we agreed to each take cabs from our homes and meet at the bus station. I had no problems. But my companion got a cab driver who was really into some sort of new age thing. He had a whole stack of books on the passenger seat. He drove about 2mph the whole way, and sometimes came to a complete stop in the middle of the road so he could explain something about his new age thing and show some books to my friend. By the time she arrived at the station, the bus was just about to pull out. 30 seconds later and we would have missed it.
I once had a cab driver in Reno tell me “Yeah you know people think trees are so great because they make oxygen, but what they don’t know is they STEAL IT BACK AT NIGHT!!!”
This totally cracked me up. And I’m in a cafe, so now people think I’m crazy. (It’s okay, though.)
I’m disappointed that my exciting taxi-driver borne news is old hat to some of you. I’d never heard that story before! It makes me wonder what other important news flashes I am not aware of.
I could explain to you why the universe is missing a day. It’s in the Bible.
Turns out that about 2.3 billion years ago, the Cartwheel Galaxy totally went on a quaaludes bender and passed out in its own gaseous emissions. Then it got up 23 hours later and made some coffee.
The extra hour is just a rounding error.
It’s a scientific FACT.