Well, for those of you who have been following my situation with my ex-wife, it’s come to this. We have decided to seperate legaly. Fortunately, we are doing this amicably. We have been discussing the details of a seperation agreement, and want to get it official. We were hoping that we could (together) consult a lawyer, get everything (posessions, bills, etc…) put in writing, and then have a document that has some legal standing to guide us to divorce. Here is my question. We are doing this because we realize it is best for both of us. We want this to be friendly. The problem here is her brother. He is a nice guy, and I have no beef with him, but he is a lawyer AND her Brother, and he keeps telling her that we should each retain counsel, and fight it out. NEITHER ONE OF US WANTS TO DO THAT. He says that a lawyer can’t act for both of us, we have no choice but to be oponents in this. There has to be another way. Can any of you help me? Thank you.
I am not a lawyer, but I can relate what I did with my ex.
In Oregon, this can be done. Don’t know about anywhere else, although it probably can. We got a legal seperation. Everything is exactly the same as a divorce, except it never becomes final. My ex and I were legally seperated for 12 years. Finally, just a couple of months ago, we got divorced. Legal seperations even can include child support. I got it from my ex wife for 12 years. (that’s a switch, huh)
I don’t know about both of you being represented by the same lawyer. May be a conflict there somewhere.
I agree that you need a lawyer, but if at all possible, stay away from the brother/lawyer. For some odd reason, family always takes sides. And things get nasty when it isn’t necessary. If it is necessary to seperate, it is always better to do it on good terms. Her brother might be the nicest guy that ever came down the pike, but you can bet that if he is her lawyer, you will be sorry.
just my 2 cents.
No, he wouldn’t be her lawyer. And we’re not trying for an indefinite seperation, just the year required. How do we set up a binding agreement defining each of our roles? If no lawyers are involved, that’s OK.
I’m not sure how legally binding it would be, but you could draw up, between yourselves, a paper that says what your agreement is, sign it and have it notorized. Not exactly the same as a legal seperation, but sure is a whole lot less expensive. The problem with a legal seperation is that it costs the same as a divorce, so, in effect, you would be paying twice in the long run.
I don’t know about where you live, but in Oregon, we have available “do-it-yourself” divorces that couples can do. Works pretty well, assuming there are no children, no houses or other property etc. In that case, you “fill in the blanks” and take it to the court, pay the court fees and bingo, done. All legal and no lawyers.
As a side note, the reason that I went for the legal seperation instead of the divorce at first was that I held out hope that we would reconcile. I figured after 12 years that wasn’t going to happen, 
so we converted it to divorce.
I don’t know anything about what has happened in your lives and it is none of my business, but at least with a seperation, you can get back together a lot easier if things improve. If that is not an option, at least you can both talk openly with each other. And that is definitely a big plus.
Something tells me that lawyers would have better things to do then post to the SDMB.
(Practising ones anyway)
Weirddave, I’m not a lawyer, but this may help. http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/states.shtml
Be sure to tell Jodi, 2nd Law, and quite a few others, I’m sure, that they have “better things to do.”
Dave, the fact is that you shouldeach have counsel. You both have different interests now–lawyers can help you achieve an agreement that is fair and workable. That doesn’t mean there has to be a fight; it just means letting people who know the process–and know what is necessary in Maryland–work for you. I would urge you to go this route, and both get lawyers.
It also means there is a lot more money shelled out into the hands of someone who can do what you can do for your self or with minimal assistance.
My ex and I did our own divorce with minimal help from a community legal counseling center called We the People in WA state. If this is for a separation, you can write out the paperwork and sign it with a notary, of course. It is perfectly legal and binding from what I understand.
That’s true, Demo–if everything goes well you don’t need lawyers. Just like if everything goes well you don’t need a military.
If things don’tgo well, you wish you’d had both.
Plead guilty, throw yourself on the mercy of the Court, and maybe they will allow you to be buried in an unmarked grave so that they won’t desecrate your body.
Ooops, sorry, you wanted HELPFUL legal advice. Nope, not for divorce cases. Perhaps the above advice is not so bad afterall…
Can I just suggest that neither of you consult the brother about this? He may be a lawyer, but it could turn into a big family mess if he is involved- even giving free advice. That situation sounds like it could get nasty quick.
Good luck to you- why not make an appointment with a different lawyer, both of you go (with your proposed papers), and ask his or her opinion?
Zette